Total pretentiousness

Rating: 2/10 (20 January 2015)

After having watched the disaster that is the disaster film "Noah" earlier this week, I thought that I had my selection for worst movie I had watched this year. Well, lo and behold, we have a new contender with Mr. Nobody. This is pretentiousness posing as art. The sad thing is that way too many people have bought into it.
While at times visually stunning, the "story" centers on Nemo who as a pre-teen had to choose with whom he would live after his parents divorced. The movie then goes on to show several possible lives that he could have lived all the while juxtaposing the various story lines, as well as jumping back and forth in time, all to advance the "deep" theory that choices have consequences. And it takes the movie over 2 1/2 hours to say that. Sadly, I cannot jump back in time and stop myself from putting this DVD in the player.
This movie is a collaboration among many international organizations including French backers, which probably should have been a clue to me about the movie's potential for being watchable. Here is a very telling quote from the movie as the main character Nemo is being interviewed:
Young journalist: Do you remember what the world was like before telemerization? Quasi-immortality? What was it like when humans were mortals?
Nemo Nobody aged 118: There were cars that polluted. We smoked cigarettes. We ate meat. We did everything we can't do in this dump and it was wonderful! Most of the time nothing happened like a French movie.
And that pretty much sums up this movie. Nothing happens.