Will I live for a long time? No, but it will seem that you do

Rating: 6/10 (4 January 2015)

The first thing I have to say is that it has a very nice soundtrack. The second is that people acted relatively well and that the production values were really good. That being said, I can't remember a movie that made me want to fast forward so much as this one. It lasts for two hours and a half, but it feels like it took a whole day to watch it.
The plot is of a guy living a lot of possible versions of his life, all jumbled together so that you can't even understand one. Is he remembering stuff as he is dying, sometime in the future? Is everything a figment of the imagination of a nine year old? Is any of it real? Which girl is he really ending up with: the perfect Juno Temple that turns into Diane Kruger when she's older but that can't seem to sync her life to his, the crazy blonde or the perfectly normal Asian girl who loves him completely and bores him to death? One thing is certain, he will always be a little misogynistic in his own head! Ha Ha Ha (imagine a really really old man laughing like that, just so that you understand it is not funny)
In the end, it reminded me of that joke where the doctor recommends no cigars, no alcohol, no sugar, no sex, no danger, etc in order to live a long life. This film is really really really long. And boring.