Excruciating

Rating: 2/10 (30 January 2018)

I had to create an account to rant about this movie. In short, it made me very angry. This is because it has such high ratings and everyone is basically in love with it. It's on everyone's list of mind blowing and life changing movies.
I, on the other hand, could not even finish it. It was so, so bad.
Spoilers ahead.
My biggest problem with it is the romance. The plot line is confusing, yes, but after watching Inception, I knew that confusing can be good, because when it all makes sense, it really is nice. No, this is bad confusing. It starts with talking about dimensions, time, the Big Bang, the String Theory and whatnot, and I, being a physics nerd, know probably more than the average person about those, so I got really excited. I didn't get my multiverse and two-dimensional time (???) speculations.
But that's not the biggest problem. I could have finished the movie if I just had problems with those. The romance in here is absolutely terrible. There are three plot lines basically where the protagonist has a relationship with three women. The protagonist, especially his younger version, has no personality, nada, zero. So, when you start with zero, you can't really do anything with it, so he doesn't progress much from zero throughout the movie. All his relationships start out shallow, and all his women are one dimensional, and where they have dimensions, they aren't flattering. So, during the entire time of viewing, I didn't find a single person with a three dimensional personality, which is funny in a movie that likes to talk about other dimensions so much.
This movie is trying to be innovative and different and jump between different plot points, but doing so it sacrifices character depth and development. And when you don't have those, you don't have a good movie.
I didn't get to the end because I couldn't continue watching 15 years olds "epic" shallow romance anymore. It was all such BS! It never explained why Nemo loved all those girls, and why those girls even married him in the first place!? This is what I'm confused about the most! Yes, they were pretty, especially the boy, but the movie seems to assume that that's all you need to marry someone! There was no connection about interests, clicking values, or that they were loners, or liked popping gum, or riding bikes. Not a single person said anything about liking anything. There was that one lady that disliked living and herself apparently, but that wasn't related to why she was with Nemo, and it never explained why he still loved her. Why? I wanna know! I wanna know how she would make your sunshine brighter, Nemo, how the way she laughs makes you forget where you are! Give me those little things that will make it all personal and not robotic fake shallow fondness cuz gosh her face is beautiful.
Terrible, terrible. I'm utterly and crushingly disappointed. I've had such high hopes for this, and it completely destroyed all of them. The guy's name was Nemo, though, right? I remember it was something weird.