Yawn-inducing "action" movie

Rating: 4/10 (12 April 2006)

So if you're going to make an action movie shouldn't there be some, you know, action? Mr. & Mrs. Smith doesn't have nearly enough action and what little action we have is either completely unoriginal or completely laughable. Let's throw in a car chase because Lord knows that hasn't been done to death in approximately 7,643,286 other movies before this one. Let's have our two "heroes" (and I use that term very loosely) survive what in any movie with half a brain would be completely unsurvivable situations. Whatever intelligence you have, this movie will insult it.
Anyhow the plot, such as it is, revolves around John and Jane Smith, a not so happily married couple who unbeknownst to one another are both professional assassins. They work for different people, these people find out their assassins are married to one another and assign them to kill each other. And there the fun begins. Well, actually no it doesn't. There is no fun. Ever. The film begins by straining to show you just how boring and mundane the Smiths' lives seemingly are. All these scenes, which go on for forever and a day, serve to do is put you to sleep. The Smiths are boring and so is this movie. Once the "action" begins a bunch of things get blown up real nice but that's about it. You never feel anything for the characters, there's no emotion at all, and the movie just sits there until the next utterly ridiculous action sequence comes along. After that the characters, and the audience, can go back to sleep.
The only thing that makes this movie even remotely noteworthy is the fact that the Smiths are played by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, whom you may have read a thing or two about in the papers. Suffice to say I hope the couple has more chemistry in real life than they do on the screen because there is absolutely zero sizzle between these two in this movie. Pitt at least seems to be trying and has a few good comic moments. Jolie on the other hand is as wooden, dull and lifeless as a beautiful woman stuffed into a series of skimpy outfits can possibly be. She seems incredibly bored. Given the script she has to work with I really can't blame her. By far the best performance comes from Vince Vaughn as another assassin who shows up for all-too-brief moments of comic relief. But whenever Vaughn's scenes are done it's back to Pitt and Jolie, and back to sleep. Speaking of Vince Vaughn, I'll bet this is probably not one of Jennifer Aniston's favorite movies. It won't be one of yours either.