The Abridged Version:

Rating: 3/10 (25 June 2005)

Here's the "story" of Mr and Mrs Smith, to save you some time >>>
Act1: Mr and Mrs Smith both find out that the other is a hit-man after coincidently clashing heads on the same job.
Act2: They try and kill each other, realize they can't, have sex instead, get pursued by an endless stream of nameless, faceless assassins for reason or reasons uncared, bust the guy from the first job out of prison who as it turns out was a plant to get them to kill each other because their respective agencies don't like them living together. Despite being intelligence agencies, this fact slipped their notice for the first 5 or 6 years of their marriage.
Act3: They kill everyone.
Note to writer: having a poncy "marriage is like one long gun battle" metaphor is utterly pointless unless you have a story to tell as well, which you don't. All you've got is a good premise and two big stars. Story first, poncy, pretentious "message" second. You clever guy, you.
Fade out.