You Go Right Ahead & Waste Your Money, If That's What You're Into

Rating: 3/10 (16 July 2005)

It seemed like a good enough idea. The girlfriend & I have been dating for nine months today & we wanted to go on a "date." Nothing too far outside the realm of sanity here. Maybe a saccharine bit of cuteness, but hell, I'm a mook, I love her.
It seemed innocent, sweet. Brad Pitt is pretty, Angelina Jolie is pretty... so we figured that, at worst, we'd be entertained and get some eye candy. We'd get to spend the evening relaxing, with our careers where they belong; in the lab, and at the studio.
I was even with it for a while. Snappy banter, sexy lips... but... but Christ... it just became trite.
Don't take me wrong, it isn't as if I wasn't tracking the references, tracking the formulaic nonsense, but somehow it had been tacked together in a fashion that allowed me to (largely) disconnect from constant analysis, and accept Big Dumb Fun... for a while.
Then, the drool came. The sense that we had just volunteered money to the multiplex for a lobotomy.
The girlfriend began muttering, "My god... this is horrible. I'm so bored." The man up front was good enough to give us free passes to another film, of our choice, because we couldn't suffer this crap to the end.
Go to the nearest Independent video store, rent Harold & Maude, and maintain some self respect.