Waste of celluloid... oh yeah, and my time

Rating: 2/10 (25 November 2005)

Flat out, this was one of the worst things I have ever seen. Its hard to make a romantic action-adventure comedy that has no romantic chemistry (really, how are they a real couple, there was no spark of anything on screen), bad action (cheap John Woo "double gun" rip-offs), no adventure (mystery solved in minute 4, followed by 2 hours of "yes, I get where this is going, running from assassins will bring them together and save their marriage, hurry up with it") and 2 witty lines of dialogue (that were already basically used in Romancing the Stone - your basic cat fight because they really like each other underneath it all) A joke about a domestic tiff (taking out the garbage type crap) while shooting at each other is a mildly humorous juxtaposition once... once. By the 30th time I was throwing Doritos at my TV. Add that to the fact that you couldn't imagine that the two stars had any relationship whatsoever, so when they figure out each other's double lives and find the surprising urge to stay married, I think any sane person is cheering against it... which kinda kills the romantic comedy thing. Again, not well written or well shot. Pitt's even borderline talent is wasted; he's given nothing to do or say. Jolie really can't act with any charisma whatsoever... just a stunned botox expression for 2 hours. Utterly pointless.