Hollywood Schlock

Rating: 1/10 (1 January 2006)

If you like typical Hollywood formulaic garbage then this "film" is for you. The computer generated FX will excite your tractable senses at just the right and regular moments, and the synthesized music will lead your emotions with crescendos and decrescendos of sounds that elicit proper responses from you without having to do much thinking. The poor directors and producers that had to watch the dailies without the quizzical music score must have found the dialogues between Pitt and Jolie the perfect sedative. The watchdog groups who count shots-fired from guns will never keep up, and of course, the two pretty actors never get a scratch amidst constant bullet storms. In fact, they can carry on a glib and "clever" 90 minute running "humorous" marital snit while engaging in withering firefights, as if their insipid dialogue is more salient than fighting for their lives. It is too bad that Pitt is only in it for the money these days, and that A River Runs Through It was his only good acting challenge, albeit stroked and coaxed by Redford; and Jolie's lips need a bit more collagen to keep them poofy and vulva-like. The foley artists must have been exhausted trying to cram in the "Most Sound FX of any Motion Picture" for the Academy snobs. This video flik was made for the average American star-struck dunce who will laugh at just about anything and be wowed and entertained by overwrought gunfights, chase scenes, and very sophomoric writing.