Boring, dumbed down, vastly improbable, but worst of all, smarmy.

Rating: 2/10 (12 May 2006)

What a terrible movie. It reminded me a lot of "America's Sweethearts" because that starred A-list Hollywood actors trying to be funny in completely predictable and ridiculous situations. This movie is exactly the same, it has nothing new to offer. It is very standard formulaic fare, a popcorn movie of the worst sort, which is not even in the least bit amusing. Yes, both Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are attractive actors, but that is about it. The rest of the movie is a waste and makes no sense at all.
Their agencies send them on a hit to take each other out because they are married to each other?????? Did they not think that perhaps one MIGHT see the other and MIGHT not shoot them because they were MARRIED? Gee, that sounds like a solid plot. Or how about Jolie jumping off the roof while holding her handbag with one arm? I can take incredulous stunts, but not when they make fun of the audience. That was as bad as many of the ridiculous stunts in Charlie's Angels 2. And as many reviewers pointed out, they are apparently the only people their agencies employ who can shoot straight (didn't Schwartzenegger already do that to death in Commando?).
And what about the bit when she said her "Temps" did all the cooking? So are we supposed to believe the temps had been living in their basement for 6 years delivering food via the magic elevator oven but Brad Pitt never noticed? What happened to his honed hit-man senses? And she has made 312 hits in the past and he never once wondered where she might be? Presumably if she dresses as a hooker for her MO, she would probably be better off whacking guys at night, but I guess old Brad is a sound sleeper. And why pick 312 anyway? That is an impossibly high number which equates to 1 a week for 6 years. Guess no one else ever figured out someone was offing people..... I know, I know, it was just a summer popcorn movie, but how about a little effort on the script? I mean the Jackal spent months, if not years, setting up his one single hit! I actually laughed out loud when she said 312, having just predicted the entire conversation.
And I won't even start about the 97 guys dressed in black they whack, fortunately only Pitt and Jolie were smart enough to wear bulletproof vests whereas the trained assassins, (who had planned the raid), arrived wearing apparently bullet-seeking outfits, have never heard of cover, and whose strategy appears to be running into an endless spray of bullets. The entire movie was fantastically frustrating. There was no attempt to make any sense at all of the plot, even the beginning was ridiculous. The Columbian police were looking for a lone assassin, therefore because Jolie joins Pitt at the bar, it can't be her???? Come on, how about a little effort?!! There was not even any good humour, it was all the one-liner obvious put-down type.
Just terrible. It's drivel, tripe, brutal. They made them out to be too cool, too tough, and too perfect, and all they ended up being was moronic, sickening, and smarmy.
Sigh.