Turkey for Christmas?

Rating: Null/10 (17 December 2001)

Whatever happened to all the charm from the musicals of the 50'es and 60'es? I don't know, but at least you shouldn't expect to find any of it in this overblown turkey. I can tell you that. The general enthusiasm among commentators about this film I will never understand. Were they all stoned when they watched it?
Baz Luhrman's latest work must be one of the worst films of 2001. An embarrassing mixture of musical and comedy, and yet almost devoid of continuous singing or dancing performances. Besides it is surprisingly witless (read: unfunny), too. Don't let the title mislead you to hope for plenty of Toulouse-Lautrec or can-can dancing because both are bitterly rationed here. Much of the songs and the dialogue consists of small bits of pop or rock songs stolen from Elton John, The Beatles, T. Rex, Queen, Madonna and others, so there are no `Edelweiss' or `Chim-Chim-Cheree' to be found here. The acting is reduced to incessant posturing and grimacing by everybody involved including a marzipan-skinned Nicole Kidman who here looks paler than a George Romero zombie. One of those movies where you root for the hero and heroine to die long before 90 minutes have elapsed. Actually 127 minutes were sufficient indeed, and I would like to thank Mr. Luhrman for not stretching it further.
If you haven't already, you should watch the infamous `Lady Marmalade' music clip with poodle-haired Christina Aguilera and the other girlies instead. It will give you a good impression of the style and content of the present film, and in case you dislike it, it will be over in 5 minutes. If you choose to watch `Moulin Rouge!', don't forget your seasick pills. The dizzying camerawork and flashy editing will make you need them very soon.