A stunning waste of opportunity

Rating: 2/10 (19 June 2001)

I was one of the many with a strong urge to walk out during the first ten minutes, but Tropical Storm Allison was outside the theater, so I stuck it out. The movie settled down thereafter, but never decided what it wanted to be. A contemporary Disney musical, done live action? A Pythonesque chaotic farce? A dark tragedy? A show piece for how good Nicole Kidman looks under colored filters? A ploy for Oscars for production values?
Look, Python could have done its bits twice as well at a tenth the budget. In the meantime, while Obi-Wan sang credibly, I pay $8.50 a shot to see professional performers performing professionally - amateur hour we see for free on local cable - although poor Kidman was born 50 years too late to be the musical superstar she may have been. MacGregor sang as well as Travolta did in Grease, and that's all the praise he merits.
(Meanwhile, did anyone notice that for all the money spent, not one thin dime went to anyone who could dance a lick? Vaudeville dancing WAS slightly more than flipping skirts to show skin while legs kicked spasmodically in random directions. Props to the director for the quick cuts to make it tough to notice how poorly executed the dancing was)
Top 250 of all time? Bah. This movie was no better, in the end, than the bottom five movies I've paid to see. That list includes Moment By Moment, The Last Temptation of Christ, Plan Nine From Outer Space, and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. You get my message.
2/10, and *only* because of my wistful musings of how Kidman would have been the complete package in the days of American musicals.