Terrible trumpery

Rating: 4/10 (29 April 2002)

Renting this crap was a huge mistake. What was I thinking. I totally hated "Romeo & Juliet", and this looked even worse in the trailers. Plus the ever so annoying "Lady Marmelade". Uuuugggggghhhh. Well I rented it because I was curious. My parents saw it in the cinema and they said they'd had walked out after 10 minutes if they hadn't been sitting in the middle of the row. And then there was this friend of mine that said "Moulin Rouge" was the greatest movie ever made. HA I admit my parents are no Siskel & Ebert (not that they were any better), for example they hated "The Godfather" and thought "The Lord Of The Rings" was boring and unrealistic. Yeah! Anyway, I was faced with a dilemma. Believe my parents or a guy that once engraved a cross on his hand with a pencil. Not that other's opinions count, not by far, but I just had to see this movie, curiosity u see.
The only solution was to rent the movie.
Who said that curiosity was a good thing. After seeing this movie I can say that IGNORANCE IS BLISS!!!! It starts of funny with that man conducting to the 20th century fox opening theme. But as soon as the movie picks up the pace and blasts you into a Luhrmann vison of the France during 1900 you get the general idea. Fast and awkward editing spoils, no, destroys a nice concept to revive a little piece of music and bring it to the big screen in style.
This movie could have easily been stupendous and could singlehandedly bring back the zhanra of musicals. Instead I was left with the feeling that it was made very poorly, most of the sets were awful, and there was that dreadful windmill that got more screen time that most of the actors. Besides the first five minutes there's nothing to like about this movie except the somewhat good performance by Nicole Kidman. She definitely has her moments and was the only reason why I didn't push the "STOP" button on the remote control. Still, what demon possessed her to star in this one. Ewan McGregor, showing off his pearly yellowies, was watchable but in my opinion miscast. The others aren't worth talking about.
It's not easy to make a musical that has a terrible sound track. Baz Luhrmann, I salute you. To shamelessly make use of many great songs and not make a single one sound even half as good as the original, now that takes true talent.
A love story that is predictable and makes very little sense since Satine falls in love with Christian after he sings her a song. Is that all it takes, a song. C'mon, here we have a curtisan who daily plays with men for money and as soon as one of them breaks a base she's swept off her feet. The movie gets so boring in the 2nd half I started feeling a little masochistic, but I had to see the ending. All I can say is that nominating this movie for anything besides the "Razzies" is ludicrous and insulting to movies. Because this is nothing short of a really bad play, and that's where it should belong, on a rotting stage in bloody England. Don't get me wrong, it's not really that bad, it's just that the director is soooo much worse. I have to commend Mr. Luhrmann, for he has again surprised and amazed me with his lack of style, taste and colors.
Congratulations.
Without doubt the worst musical ever made. 3/10