What a mess.

Rating: Null/10 (31 May 2004)

Is it fair to write a review of a movie that you could not bring yourself to finish? I missed this one at the movies and on rental (and thank goodness I didn't waste my money...) so took a look at it when it was shown on T.V. last night. The first ten minutes had me saying... "What the ****??" and the rest of the first 45 minutes had me squirming. Sorry, that was all I could take of Nicole Kidman's obnoxious wide-eyed Kewpie-Doll acting (shallower than a 10 cent goldfish bowl) and I won't even mention her singing. I cannot even imagine what "style" the directors were going for unless it was an overblown-overlong music video: no cliché was too obvious to be unexploited, no old movie was left unparodied and no pop song was left unplundered. The only positive note was the lush colours and visuals and even that cloyed after a while. I imagine it was very popular with 13 year-old girls the way "Cabaret" was in my day (only "Cabaret" was a much better film.)
I won't rate it because I couldn't finish watching it. That alone should tell you something.