Well. I don't know. You figure it out for yourself.

Rating: 5/10 (4 January 2018)

After my last two reviews, I was going to blow my brains out if I didn't watch a good movie. So, I had heard this was a good one and very polarizing to people. Check and check, let Ol' Sandwich weigh in. Well, sad to say my search for a good movie watch continues. Oh also, I may spoil some things in here for you. So, SPOILERS AHEAD. Actually, I definitely will. Whether you care or not is another entirely.
The cinematography was great. That's about the only great and normal thing I can say about this movie. Overall, it felt like a two-hour student film from a filmmaker who has been around the block. Like he just said fuck it, let's do this random thing. What pisses people off these days? A film with no real story? Check. Sex? People are over it, alright then no sex, but tease it the whole time! Check. Jennifer Lawrence screaming the entire film, check. Drugs? Incest? Murder? Any of these things really fuck people up anymore? No? Alright, well what about killing a baby and then eating it. What? That'll be sure to shoo funders away and scare off audiences. Perfect! Throw that in there! Alright, let's get this shit rolling!
After reading and reflecting, it's a biblical tale. Javier Bardem is God, Jennifer Lawrence is Mother Earth, Ed Harris is Adam, Michelle Pfeiffer is Eve and the House is the Earth. Everyone else is humanity just taking and ripping shit to shreds. That being said, there's about two hours and one minute left to fill. Most of the movie is meandering madness and bullshit. Like I said, it feels like a student film where there's no real point, all artsy shots and shit that will piss people off. That being said, there's a soft spot in my heart for people who go "fuck the man" and that's precisely what Aronofsky did here. Fuck your expectations, fuck your preconceived notions, fuck you and your (at least) twelve dollar movie ticket. I mean, that takes some set of balls. Obviously this guy wanted to make this movie, it's his little passion project. He wrote it in five days and the entire thing was done two years later. At the very least, you can't trash his love for this project.
But I sure fucking can trash his project. Fuck you for marketing this and selling it to a major distributor. Produce this thing solo, release and say this is my passion project and is not to be seen by anyone because it's not really a movie. It's an art project. It's an exercise in an filmmaker's self-indulgent motion picture and a complete waste of my time. At least I saw some Jennifer Lawrence tit in high definition 4K. Also, Michelle Pfeiffer can still get it. I'm not joking, go watch it.
Rotten Tomatoes, what do you have to say? "There's no denying that mother! is the thought-provoking product of a singularly ambitious artistic vision, though it may be too unwieldy for mainstream tastes." I mean. I guess. Basically, if you're a film buff, go ahead and watch it. If you're a mainstream film fan or anything in between, go ahead and just forget about this thing. It's an exercise, a student film by a veteran filmmaker. I don't know that it really has a place in any genre or tone and take that as you will. It's ballsy and for that, I respect him and the movie. For the last two hours of my life and six bucks however, eh. It's gone. So far gone. But hey, look at me! I'm watching critically acclaimed movies! If I say I like this movie, does that make me cultured and high-class? Or just a hipster that's like, "The baby represents..." fucking yack. It's been so long since film school at this point and there's a lot I don't miss about it. Like overanalyzing lazy metaphors. I feel like I need a shower after this film. With Jennifer Lawrence. And Javier Bardem can come too. He's such a great actor, I'm not above it.
Aronofsky said when he wrote this, it flowed from him like a fevered dream. That's what it watches like too. That's the best summation I can come up with. So, if you have the flu, like I did watching it, you're in for a hell of a trip. Don't need no booze, don't need no drugs, just some good ol' DayQuil and a touch of influenza and you're off on an adventure!