Highly strung pretentious rubbish

Rating: 1/10 (21 April 2019)

I bite my fingernails, it's a habit that has plagued my whole life. I do it most often when I'm bored, which gives an interesting metric for how good a film is. If I have nails left at the end it was probably pretty good. After this movie I had no finger nails left, infact, I had no fingers, no hands and no arms left before I started on the toenails and worked my way up until I was nothing but a floating head typing this review with my tongue..
Of course I'm joking about slowly eating myself during this movie. I am not joking, however, when I say it would actually be preferable to be slowly eaten alive for two hours than to have to sit through this laughable excuse for a film. Honestly, save your money, save your time, save your fingernails and don't bother.