What is this steaming piece of crap?

Rating: 1/10 (18 January 2013)

I have rarely seen a movie that I would call "an utter and total waste of time"; I wish I had cleaned dog poo off the streets of Toronto. Is this for real or a nightmarish joke? The amount of visual detail is suffocating and dizzying at best! And are these lines supposed to make anyone with a brain laugh: "I'm going to find a tree to chop" or "Get out of my chimney". This stinking, entirely disgusting piece of crap shows that if you know the right people and figure out how to give the right people oral pleasure, you can make anything in Hollywood; that's I think how Roman Coppola and Wes Anderson - who I believe is one of the most over-rated Hollywood filmmakers - were able to get their totally ludicrous, laughless, unbearably crappy and genuinely appalling script produced. Those two kids who play the leading characters are extremely unattractive and mental-looking; I can't believe that dance scene on the beach... it almost made me puke! I wish I could rate this total waste of talent - I would never be able to wrap my head around why those actors even considered reading this boring, shitty script much less say yes to it, -10; but even that would be an over-estimation. One more thing: Bill Murray's part is impossibly thankless and abysmal; every word coming out of his mouth is dreary and desperate for a laugh! And one last thing: I really would like to know what Scorsese thinks of Keitel's part and performance!