Pretentious, artsy-fartsy, boring BS

Rating: 1/10 (11 December 2012)

I hated 'Bottle Rocket', hated 'Rushmore', hated 'The Royal Tennenbaums'. Surprise! I hated Moonrise Kingdom. Why do I keep watching Wes Anderson's movies? Because I keep hearing/reading all this great stuff about 'em. Bottle Rocket was the highly touted first Anderson film, so I watched that. I didn't get it. Rushmore got all these great reviews, and I didn't connect that it was made by the same guy that made Bottle Rocket, so that time I got tricked. Stinko. The praise for The Royal Tennenbaums was so over the top that I thought there must be something wrong with me for hating the two previous films, so I watched it and wanted to kill myself by the halfway point. I successfully avoided his next few films and then I got tricked again 'cause I didn't know Moonrise Kingdom was a Wes Anderson movie until the FIRST TWO MINUTES when it was unmistakable. "OH NO, NOT AGAIN" I thought. I don't understand why anyone likes this boring crap with 'quirky' dialog delivered in a monotone, long shots of nothing (someone's front yard with no one in the frame for a full minute, for example) and plots and situations with no basis in reality (but not in a good way). Of course, I despised 'Lost In Translation' and 'Safety Not Guaranteed' too. But I am an un-hip philistine and clearly I'll never develop the cultural palate to appreciate Wes Anderson's 'craft'. Watching this movie is torture. If you want to be entertained, avoid it like the plague. No more Wes Anderson for me. Ever again.