Now if only we could have an Afghan Disney Princess..

Rating: 6/10 (28 November 2016)

As far as animation goes, Moana is a tremendous achievement.
As far as the Disney mass-hysteria goes, Moana breaks a few trends.
As far as anything else goes -- you know, things that make a *movie*, Moana is an average motion-picture regurgitated from clichés too numerous to list and too hastily mashed together to have any kind of coherent effect.

A princess wants to do things differently. (Opportunity for getting a bunch of adventurous-sounding rhymes stuck in teenage girls' head: Check. Now we have 2016's "Let it Go".)

An authority figure wants her to stick to old ways.

Another -- warmer -- authority figure believes in the princess.

-Magic.

The princess is thrust into situations she is definitely not prepared for. But well, her grandma *believes* in her.

Meets a jock.

Gets constantly in trouble and needs to be helped by the jock or (literally) by forces of nature.

Moments of self-doubt.

The princess' moment of self-doubt is resolved by a vision of her dead-grandma.

The jock's moment of self-doubt is resolved by the princess.

Bunch of evil things.

Everything fails.

The princess saves the day with a song.

It's very rare that I end up sounding so cynical about a movie. I liked Zootopia. I'm okay with reusing certain plot techniques in a way that makes sense. But Moana focuses too much on character design, Polynesian "authenticity" and the must-break-the-glass-ceiling bandwagon that it kind of forgets that a movie is not only made by marketing and press, but also by its own innate qualities.