Things explode, people die, and I want my money back.

Rating: 4/10 (4 November 2006)

Tom Cruise, what a fella' huh? In between couch jumping and promoting the Holiness of Scientology, he managed to star in a movie. Not a very good one mind you, but still a movie. I guess that's what M:i:iii's main problem is. The movie isn't so much a film (aka, a plot driven story recorded on film) as much as it is a vehicle for mister Cruise to show off his cute but in tight black pants, and blow stuff up. Maybe that's not a bad thing if you're, lets say, 10, but for a person who actually gets more out of film than a stiffy from flames and swearing, it comes off as a little disappointing. That's not to say the film has no plot though, it does! Really, it does! You see, our boy Ethan Hunt has retired from the whole "spy" game and has decided to get married and live out his life without the threat of castration from Russian KGB agents. Although, the temptation proves to be too much when a comrade goes missing. So Ethan puts on his sexy french body suit and goes on one last mission. An "Impossible mission" if you will. This leads him to run into one Owen Davian (Phillip Semour Hoffman, or a wax sculpture of him, I got confused.). Bad things happen, and soon Ethan's wife is kidnapped (GASP!). This leads to several scenes featuring Cruise and his "crew" of super spies (They look like Radio Shack employees...) looking for clues on double agents in Hunt's division and eventually, Ethan's wife. Sounds like a USA original movie. Not to say the movie is ALL bad. The action is actually REALLY good. For example, in one scene Cruise slides down a glass roof while shooting guards. Its unfortunate that the film isn't simply a balls-to-the-wall action romp, because that might of worked. The injecting of "plot" into the film really does kill it. Its a shame that usually on the mark actors like Shaun of the Dead's Simon Pegg and PSH couldn't even save this film. For die hard Cruise nuts only.
Oh, and one more thing, Ving Rhames? Be a dear, don't try to do comedy again, EVER.