Mission: Unoriginal

Rating: 3/10 (7 May 2006)

I want to preface this by saying I love action movies. Kill Bill vol 1&2 are two (one?) of the most amazing movies I've ever seen. I held an emotional investment for The Bride, wanted her to kick ass, and ultimately kill Bill. And yet the end was bitter-sweet because it had depth with her killing her mentor and love. Just an amazing movie experience, and now you have a sense of what I'm looking for in a film.
So there's been a lot of hoopla about JJ Abrams taking the helm on the Mission Impossible franchise. Abrams is best known, of course for creating TV's Felicity, Alias and Lost.
This is my problem: the plot of M:I 3 is all too familiar because I'm pretty sure I've seen it before.
Anyone remember the first season of Alias? The first episode begins with our spy being held captive and tortured. Then for the rest of the season, the plot flashes back to bring us back up to speed as to how the spy got there in the first place. You also find out that the spy's fiancé is in the dark about the espionage career, and is put into jeopardy because of it.
Now, I know it's been ten years -- yes, ten whole years since M:I 1, but does anyone remember that plot?
Right, someone in the agency is the bad guy.
And in M:I 2, one of the bad guys is a former IMF agent gone bad.
So for 3 out of 3 Mission: Impossible movies, one of the the bad guys comes from IMF. Dude, I think there's something rotten in IMF.
You'd sort of like to imagine that when Abrams came on board, that he might have watched the first 2 movies and thought, "hey, let's not do that again."
And the surprise twist is hardly a surprise -- trust me, you can see it coming a mile off. I was hoping for something slightly more clever like Julia (Michelle Monaghan) being the villain or that Owen Davian (Hoffman) never really existed and was always a woman in a mask & a suit.
Alas, no evil Francie in sight.
As for the acting, Philip Seymour Hoffman does a creepy enough job but he's not in the movie enough. His part ranks slightly above a cameo. Why have Hoffman if you aren't really going to use him? Cruise is bland. I understand some audiences have clapped when he's being beaten to a pulp. There's some odd awkwardness in how much Monaghan looks like Katie Holmes. Anyone else in the movie is of no consequence.
There's also been a bit of press about Abrams fleshing out the M:I characters. Yeah, well if you want to consider, "I'm saying a poem about my cat who ran away," character development, more power to you. How droll.
And for something based on a clever TV show about team work, M:I 3 still misses the boat. Probably the scene that comes the closest to the original MI is the one in Vatican City. There's some nice team work to accomplish the mission, and it's not all about blowing stuff up or shooting people.
If you're looking for a clever, funny, well-plotted action movie for the Summer, this isn't it. If you want to see a re-tread of plots from previous Mission: Impossible movies, other action movies, and various TVs shows, then this is a fine popcorn flick.