Tom Cruise gets a beating? Box Office magic!

Rating: 8/10 (9 May 2006)

Wow. This was a good movie, despite an outrageous insult to Malaysia somehow getting past the censors. But I'll get to that later.
Did you watch the first two Missions:Impossible? Doesn't matter. All you need to know is that Tom Cruise goes around the world with his team of Scientology gurus and shoots people. He shoots people dead. Just like in real life!
Also just like in real life, he needs to be stopped. That's what Philip Seymour Hoffman tries to do in this movie. He does a pretty good job, too! If the whole movie was two hours of Philip Seymour Hoffman kicking Tom Cruise around, I still would have paid $12.00 to see it. Expect another Oscar win for Hoffman next year based on what he does in this movie alone.
Anyway he totally beats up Tom Cruise, but everybody knows: you can't win when you fight Tom Cruise in the movies. There's no way Tom Cruise would win in real life, though. A big, brawny guy like PSH, vs. a 5'4" TC? One punch is all it would take. Seriously. I was laughing the whole time they were fighting on screen, but not too loudly because the guy sitting next to me was getting weirded out.
Tom Cruise wouldn't even have been able to save the day anyway if Simon Pegg didn't give him a walk-through. I jumped up and down in my seat when he was on screen, I was so happy to see him. You know Simon Pegg? Tim from Spaced? Yeah, that guy. At this point the guy next to me in the theater was freaked out, so I had to calm down.
So, to sum up the movie:
Good:
* Philip Seymour Hoffman beats up Tom Cruise! Hahaha! Awesome!
* Simon Pegg saves the day!
* Explosions! Things blow'd up good!
Bad:
* Philip Seymour Hoffman doesn't actually beat up Tom Cruise =(
* Nobody else beats up Tom Cruise, either.
* The insult to Malaysia was when they had the logo for Malaysia Airlines on screen for a long time, but it was... backwards! I was outraged!
Okay. Seriously now. Go watch this movie. It's good to pretend for a couple of hours that Tom Cruise isn't actually crazy.
8/10.