worst...movie...ever

Rating: 1/10 (7 November 2006)

Good evening, my name is Tom Cruise. I'm going to unload on a plane with my full clip of g36 ammo, then reload and run out after 3 shots when I shoot at the important bad guys. I'm also going to own a defibrillator that takes 30 seconds to charge and has a colorful beeping LCD screen. And I was thinking about being blown to the right, into a car when an explosion goes off 100 yards behind be. I'm also going to shoot a handful of other unrealistic sounding guns. When I am not shooting guns and can't seem to find a 30 second charging defibrillator, I am going to rig up something that would completely eradicate me in the real world, and tell my girlfriend that if she doesn't kill me, I will die. But not before giving her a lesson on guns....because this is a Berreta M92 F, very effective at close range. When I know I could have just said that this is a gun. After my girlfriend kills me with my ridiculous kitchen cookware Popsicle stick defibrillator, I'm going to lie lifeless until she uses about 25 bullets to kill 2 guys. But I am not going to come back alive until she kisses me on the lips. Then on the way out of china, I am going to explain to her that I am part of a GOVERNMENT FUNDED TEAM CALLED "IMPOSSIBLE MISSION FORCE". Because the government thinks up crazy lame names for their organizations that I would expect a 5 year old to come up with for his group of toddler friends.