Jesus Cruise, Superstar!

Rating: 1/10 (11 March 2007)

Finally saw this on TNT, and I'm surprised none of the reviews I've read picked up on what I did when I saw the rock-climbing bit: Tom Cruise isn't Ethan Hunt, he's Jesus Christ, complete with his own Judas (Ambrose), Mary Magdalene (Nyah), and white doves! After you stop laughing, remember how Tommy moves from one rock piece to the other? He does an inverted swing so that he winds up as though he were being crucified! The Redeemer as narcissistic pinhead who wants to be Chow Yun Fat when he grows up!
The less said about this so-called movie, the better! Everyone involved - especially John Woo (if this crap isn't proof that he has sold his soul to the Devil, I don't know what is!) and Jesus Cruise Superstar - ought to be ashamed of themselves! Stay away -- stay far away!