Two Mind-Numbing Hours of Slow Motion and Explosions

Rating: 4/10 (23 January 2016)

I hadn't seen this movie in years and, with all the ROGUE NATION excitement last year, I sat down and revisited MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 2. I'd seen it in theaters back in the summer of 2000 and I vaguely remember enjoying it, but not as much as the first film. Watching it again more than a decade later, I see just how lame it really is. As a fan of the series who's excited to see it doing so well now that we're five movies in, I was disappointed to go back to MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 2 and find myself bored out of my mind. It's a prime example of throwaway entertainment. The action is dull, the characters are bland, and the stakes never feel important. Directed by action maestro John Woo, the focus is on style while plot and characters take a distant backseat. In his second big screen mission, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) is assigned to retrieve a genetically modified form of influenza that kills its victim within 24 hours. It (and the matching antivirus) was stolen by fellow IMF agent Sean Ambrose (Dougray Scott) who's gone rogue and plans to use it to embezzle money from the corrupt owner of the company that created it. Part of that plan is, of course, to release it on the unsuspecting public and reap profits while innocents die. To get the inside scoop on Ambrose's plans, Hunt recruits the man's former lover, Nyah Nordoff-Hall (Thandie Newton) to reignite their relationship and report her findings to Hunt and the IMF.
I honestly can't believe Roger Ebert gave this movie a positive review
Geez, where to begin? I guess the action and John Woo's "style". From the little bit of his work I've seen (i.e. a few of his American projects), I'm just not a fan. He can certainly craft an intense action scene but he's also got a lot of trademark visuals that he uses to nauseating extremes here. No, not his doves. The dove doesn't appear to the very end of the film. The slow motion. So much slow motion. It's used everywhere in this movie and all the time. Eyes meeting across a room? Slow motion. Eyes meeting between drivers in a high-speed chase? Slow motion. Walking? Slow motion. Jumping? Slow motion. Slow motion? Slow motion. Run this film at normal speed and you could probably fit it as a one-hour M:I television special with commercials. And then there's the gratuitous use of explosions. I love a good movie explosion as long as it's motivated. In MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 2, if a car so much as hits a speed bump too fast it's liable to explode in a blaze of glory. Personally, vehicle crashes are more interesting without the explosion because you get a better view of the impact, rather than another identical (improbable) fireball. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: 2 is first and foremost an action film, but when the bullet wounds are bloodless and vehicles explode for seemingly no reason it feels cheap and pandering like toilet humor in non- funny comedies.
It all made sense when I was watching a promotional puff-piece for the film and writer Robert Towne explained that he was approached with a series of action set-pieces designed by Woo and Cruise. He was asked to write the script around the action. As a result, we wind up with a weak story of Ethan Hunt and his team chasing a vaguely-threatening MacGuffin and a forgettable villain. I don't know much about IMF operations and hiring practices but you'd think someone would've noticed Ambrose was getting ready to go full-blown villain. As much as an IMF agent is expected to endure in the course of their job, you'd think they'd have team psychologist to check in on them and maybe realize that they had a psychopath in the field. Ambrose falls far short of being an awesome antagonist on the level of Jon Voight in the first film or Philip Seymour Hoffman in the third. We know nothing of his motivations other than he wants to be rich and he has zero qualms about killing entire populations to do so. To get at Ambrose, Hunt is forced to recruit Nyah and use her as bait. WhichOKbut once Ambrose's location was discovered, why not pull Nyah out and go all IMF on his base of operations? Isn't that their job? Instead, she gets to play spy, putting her civilian life in danger to report information that Hunt could've obtained with one of his crazy awesome IMF infiltration missions.
So many complaintswhat can I say positively about MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 2? Tom Cruise continues to be awesome as Ethan Hunt. I love the work he's done in this franchise and the fact that he insists on doing his own stunts is impressive. The opening with Hunt free-climbing is that much more intense because we can see it's Cruise on the side of that rocky cliff-face. Ving Rhames is always a cool presence, even if his character is one-note in his fashion obsession this time around. And the M:I theme got a nice rock upgrade for this film. Still, you're better off skipping this one and moving on to MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 3.