Mission: Retarded

Rating: Null/10 (31 May 2000)

WARNING: SPOILERS
Quite possibly one of the dumbest action movies I've ever seen, this Mission: Impossible bears absolutely no resemblance to the far superior original by the far superior director, Brian DePalma. The action in M:I2? Stupid. The suspense in M:12? Nowhere to be found. The "romance" in M:I2? Hahahaha...Tom Cruise and Thandie Newton have about as much chemistry as oil and water. I'd rather watch paint dry than have to suffer through this movie again.
The over-simplified plot of this Mission is a definite departure from the intricacies of the first film, but it's a turn for the worse. While the villain's rationale is somewhat amusing, his character is about the least-threatening big-screen bad guy I've ever seen. Also, John Woo seems to be in the business of ripping himself off. This time around we're subjected to the same old boring operatic violence, birds, and slo-mo action sequences as in Face/Off. But far more troubling are the DePalma references which smack of a severe lack of creativity on the director's part. I swear, several shots were culled directly from the original (see the part where Ambrose almost sticks Hunt in the eye with his knife, or the whole sequence where Hunt repels into the high-rise vent system). Dumb, dumb, dumb.
This is a very bad movie and I strongly advise against seeing it. Ever. But what I still don't understand is this: why in the hell would Ethan Hunt ever carry around a mask of himself? If you've seen the movie you know what I mean, and I defy you to make any sense of it. Unfortunately, this is exactly the sort of weak foundation that the entire movie is built upon. Tom Cruise: slumming. John Woo: Overrated (way overrated). Anthony Hopkins and Ving Rhames: under-used. Thandie Newton: hot, but not much else. Mission: Retarded!!!