What Happened?

Rating: 3/10 (8 November 2004)

I was disappointed in the first Mission Impossible film but had heard that this one was better. John Woo directed it. The man who wrote Chinatown did the screenplay. Thandie Newton was in it. Everything sounds great. So what happened?
MI2 is a mess, and not even an entertaining mess. For an action film, it's quite boring at times. There are long gaps between action sequences, and one has to endure some of the worst romantic dialog to come out of Hollywood in some time. Thandie Newton, who was so charming in the otherwise mediocre Truth About Charlie, is totally wasted here. I'm still trying to figure out how Robert Towne goes from writing Chinatown, which was so intelligent and stylish, to this dreck, which makes some of the bad, late-night, low-budget action shows on cable TV look pretty well-developed and coherent. An absolute flop of a screenplay.
This was the first film I had ever seen by John Woo, and I can only assume that his earlier work is what gave him such a good reputation. When he finally does give us action sequences, they go on far too long and often seem ridiculous. If you find the opening sequence of the film - Tom Cruise "rock climbing" - silly and unbelievable, stop the video there and go on to something else, because it's not going to get any better. The worst combination for an action film is to be dumb AND pretentious, and that is what Woo accomplishes in MI2. His trademark use of slow-motion gets old quick and leaves you feeling like you're watching some slick perfume ad on TV. This is especially true towards the end of the film, when doves come flying out of the smoke and fire. Rather than care about the climax of the story, I'm wondering if a naked, anorexic blonde angel is going to appear and whisper "Action Film, the new fragrance from Calvin Klein." It's just silly stuff, with no sly, tongue-in-cheek awareness of its own silliness.
And there are so many holes in the script...
And those masks... What is it with the masks? It works the first time, seems old the second time and is just plain ridiculous the third time.
I'm guessing Woo was an influence on the Wachowski Brothers, so I could be reading this wrong, but he seems to rip off several elements from The Matrix, which was released a year earlier. If only he had bothered to make MI2 as tight and smart as that film!
If you're an action fan, get the DVD and skip to the chapters with the fight/chase sequences. The story doesn't make much sense and the actors struggle with the terrible screenplay, so you're not missing anything important.
If you're a fan of the original series or of intelligent spy films, forget it. As bad as it was, you're better off watching the first Mission Impossible movie. At least that had some class. And I'm sure any James Bond film would be more enjoyable.