Stupefyingly Bad

Rating: 2/10 (21 August 2012)

This movie is one of the worst big budget action movies ever made. Notice, I'm not comparing this to "great" films, but to its fellow silly pointless fun action movies.
This one is truly terrible.
Like many action movies MI: II decided to rely on fancy new special effects instead of a plot that makes the slightest bit of sense. Now, an action movie's plot doesn't have to make any sense, but it'd better be damn enjoyable.
Seeing people pull off their uber-realistic "mask" once, was awesome. By the 40th time (Ok, I don't remember how many times but it was far too many and was just a pathetic gimmick because the writers sucked)it is no longer cool, just stupid. Especially stupid since a mask doesn't magically make 5' something Tom Cruise over 6' tall. Apparently you never noticed your boss was so much shorter than you...
Now, a bad plot, overdone special effects, that's not the worst thing ever. No, Mr. Woo saves that for the end.
*****************SPOILER ALERT********************
There will be spoilers here. And possibly some sarcastic comments. You can avoid both if you like and stop now.
Mr. John Woo, the "abuse of slow motion makes every movie better" master really takes things over the top in the final hours, er, minutes of the film. Cruise and the bad guy roar at each other on motorcycles, both slamming on their front brakes simultaneously to launch themselves through the air at one another.
Their bodies crash together and they fall to the ground. With shattered ribs? Any injury at all? Nope...well, OK, its an action movie, but really?
Then, a slow motion brawl on a sandy beach goes on...and on...and on. You see them fighting...and water and who is going to win? How can fists win a battle that physics could not?
WAIT!
What is this?
A large rock on this sandy beach?
SALVATION!
Thank you perfectly sized rock on sandy beach to be there so Mr. Cruise can bash the dude's head in.
This movie sucks.