Tom Cruise Stars in an Action-Packed Infomercial for Rubber Masks!

Rating: 3/10 (9 July 2013)

Did you enjoy Mission: Impossible 1 and got excited when Mission: Impossible 2 came on your TV? Well, if you're one of the few people left that haven't seen it yet, STOP! What you are about to see is another demonstration of how sequels can manage to vary greatly from the originals.
I'm not a Mission: Impossible hater, and I don't despise Tom Cruise as an actor. I loved Mission: Impossible number bajillion. Okay, 4, but who's counting? MI:3 was fairly decent. The original was awesome. But this one was just disappointing on all accounts.
The original Mission: Impossible was so good because of its complicated plot. You had to think. And it moved quickly. This one started out okay, but with a pulling off of rubber masks, it doesn't take us long to figure out who the bad guys were.
Cut back to Spain, where Ethan Hunt takes a break from climbing rocks and spends about 20 minutes attempting a so-called relationship with a "mysterious" thief. He also has great talent at delivering unforgettable lines ("Just stay alive!" and "I'm not gonna lose you!" were especial favorites of mine and very thought-provoking) and incredible skills at martial arts (refer to the impeccable fistfight scene at the end).
Along with these awesome additions, we get multiple bad guys! Multiple explosions! An unlimited supply of rubber masks utilized over and over again! Absolutely useless cameos by doves!
Honestly, it was just an overdrawn mess. The movie lasted about 40 minutes too long, and by the time you brought all of the slo-mo scenes to regular speed, that 40 minutes would easily be spared and we could return to a Chimera-free lifestyle more quickly. The characters (or lack thereof) furthered the borefest. Luther seemed to be recuperating (perhaps from reading the dull script), and this new no-name sidekick had about as much personality as a sack of potatoes. Nyah started out as your typical "mysterious" character and ended as your typical "implausible" character, all but whimpering at the edge of a cliff as the countdown to the virus' infection of her wound to, yes, the near end. But don't worry! They'll save her, as this film is nothing short of predictable. The villain(s) were just forgettable.
It's a great difficulty to stop the spread of Chimera? What are we talking about? Enjoying this movie was Mission: Impossible!