What would MI-2 be without special effects? About 10 minutes.

Rating: Null/10 (15 June 2000)

Mission Unimpressive: Explosions, Explosions, Explosions ... (yawn)
Yes, I'm a crochety old person. But I do enjoy the movies, even the non-Oscar-winning variety that seem so popular between Memorial Day and the Fourth of July. I even like special effects, when they serve a purpose besides, "Look how much money we spent on this movie," or "See? That really is Tom Cruise hanging from that cliff."
You probably know the plot. MI agent Ethan Hunt (Cruise) must recruit a sexy thief (Thandie Newton) to spy on good-guy-gone-bad Sean Ambrose (Dougray Scott) who wants rights to a deadly bacteria and its antidote. Ho-hum. But as in most summer action adventures, the plot is peripheral to what really draws in that 15-25 male ticket-buyer, the special effects.
However, what is left to destroy, now that we've seen every building, public monument, and yes, planet, blown to smithereens? What does MI-2 offer that no one else has given us?
We've done the pulling-the-face-off-to-reveal-another-person bit to death. We've had slo-mo karate out the wazoo. We've seen about a million explosions with the hero subsequently walking through the flames. And car chases? C'mon, now. It's so '70s!
Take those out, and what does MI-2 have left?
Long, smoldering, soap-opera-ish looks between Cruise and Newton. (I kept waiting for the commercial break after each of these -- "We'll return to Spies of Our Lives in just a moment.")
ECU's (extreme close-ups) of Scott trying to overcome the leftover Prince Charming aura to look evil.
And, oh yes, the lamest excuse for a final chase scene that I've seen in years -- Cruise and Scott darting at each other on motorcycles, all the while doing their best to stare menacingly at each other. Ooooh, nothing scarier than the annoying buzz of a couple of rice burners kicking up dust in the Australian outback, especially with those sinister kangaroos hopping about in the background.
Finally, why is it that, despite all the flashy technology at the disposal of the MI squad, the finale comes down to two guys rolling around in the dirt and punching each other in slow motion (never, of course, getting bruised or swollen, just garnering the occasional and slightly sexy bit of blood on one cheek or over one brow)?
My biggest complaint, however, has nothing to do with John Woo's approach to the action/adventure genre; it is that he has changed the original concept of the television show. For those of you who were born after the series (a depressingly high percentage of you), what was coolest about it was that it was, well, cool, in the Marshal McLuhan sense of the word, meaning not hot, but detached and unemotional.
At the end of each episode, the MI team would calmly walk away from the scenes of destruction and chaos, and the bad guys would never be the wiser. They had no idea they'd been tricked, as their demise had been brought on by their own stupidity. The team was never recognized or discovered. Nothing was ever personal.
That they did so to the perfect timing of the best TV score ever written was icing on the cake.
Woo, however, uses his theme early, making the last 15 minutes truly anti-climatic. The heated battle for personal vengeance between Cruise and Scott is embarrassing and unprofessional, rather like two school boys fighting over the prom queen. Definitely not cool.
Explosions, slow-motion karate, and plastic face-pulling do not make up for the lack of intellectual involvement in this bloated summer blockbummer.
I'd save this one for video.