Mission: Impossibly Cheesy

Rating: 3/10 (12 February 2018)

So, after seeing the adrenaline-pumped trailer for MI Fallout I decided to go to the franchise roots and finally see the original three films. And while the first one was already cheesy enough, this movie is simply on another level.
Since MI2 is old news now, and probably no one will ever read this anyway, I'll just list some of the more ridiculous moments I remember:

Implausible love line and how creepy Cruise is when he "seduces" the discount Zoe Saldana. Also how totally accidentally her perky tits are accentuated in half the shots. Sorry.

The uncomfortably stereotypical Aussie dude in Ethan's team.

Constant dramatic zoom-ins on the actors' faces.

Constant dramatic slo-mo shots.

Tom Cruise doing backflips and other Wrestlemania-style moves.

Tom Cruise sliding on the concrete road while holding onto a bike.

"That punk put a whole in my Versace".

How stupid it is that instead of calling in reinforcements to take down the Scottish villain, Ethan works with just 2 guys and keeps a low profile for some reason.

How stupid it is that destroying the virus samples solves anything, like there the company has no data to reconstruct it at will.

How stupid it is that Ethan apparently always carries a mask of himself and of the Blonde villain guy, as well as his voice modulator, in case he needs to do a totally unforeseeable switch-up in a critical moment.

The beginning says "music by Hans Zimmer", but the music, just like everything else, is also pure trash.