Demeaning, Slow, Cliché, Plotless

Rating: Null/10 (12 June 2000)

First off, THIS IS NOT "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE". If you know anything about the original series or enjoyed the first movie at all, you will be insulted and disgusted by this defamation of the "M:I" trademark. On the other hand, if you KNOW NOTHING about "Mission: Impossible" and are a generally dull, desensitized, short attention span, senseless violence type, you will certainly enjoy this movie.
For those of you who like M:I for what it was. The plot in M:I2 is as thin as the air at the top of a mesa in New Mexico. What's worse, to coddle to the unintelligent masses who complained that M:I1 was to hard to understand, the evolving details of the plot are explicitly spelled out every 10 minutes. What's even worse, the dialog is recited at such a slow pace (so those with feeble minds may not miss the "intricate" details) that you'll no doubt get fed up with waiting for the characters to say what you'll KNOW is about to come out of their mouths.
And a note about the characters. The director obviously favored the numb minded action sequences when he gave all of 5 minutes to character development. The entire counter-plot, if you will, of the movie relies on character interplay which was developed for no more than 5 minutes (and during an action sequence, mind you). In addition, the supposed super-spy IMF agents are as dull whited as the audience; a clear insult to the original M:I crew.
And as final disrespect to M:I (and maybe even to the chagrin of the action lovers), there is a pathetic lack of top-secret, superior, high-tech equipment. M:I1's video wrist watches and cameras mounted in eye glasses are replaced with a consumer grade Kodak DC 265 with 32 meg flash card; $499.99 at your local electronics store. And further more, the only high-tech special effect is used over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over (did I get all 6?).
Oh, and as a side note, this movie take explicit care to insult women in every way they can. The crude sexual remarks are completely uncalled for.
Anyway, for all you action fans who don't have any interest in anything other than explosions and cheap American kung-fu, this movie is packed! Great camera angles, lots of exploding stuff, eerie religious references, high speed chases, and even scenes ripped right out of "The Matrix".
So, action fans, don't miss it. And, "Mission: Impossible" fans, avoid this like a bad case of the flu (lame M:I2 reference, hehe)