A Herd of Camels!

Rating: 1/10 (13 September 2015)

Driving on a totally flat, totally straight road in the middle of a desert with miles and miles of visibility, empty of all other traffic, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) has to swerve his car violently to avoid driving in to a herd of camels walking alone the road in a neat formation that he hadn't been able to see for the past five minutes until he was literally tailgating them.
One can draw one of several conclusions from this: a: Ethan Hunt is registered blind. This would normally be a disadvantage for a super spy, but we live in an age of equality, so hey, who needs 20/20 vision? b: Logic doesn't exist in the Mission Impossible Universe. In MI1, they flew a helicopter into the Channel Tunnel. In MI2, Ethan Hunt kept a pair of nesting doves in both of his shoes. In MI3 something happened that involved Philip Seymour Hoffman being a douche and a McGuffin called the Rabbit's Foot that was so McGuffin that they never even made an attempt to explain it on screen. In MI4 they turned Simon Pegg into an IMF field agent. Alright, James Bond has lapses in logic too, but at least they haven't cast Simon Pegg yet. c: The MI series doesn't care about your intelligence. It just wants to take your money, wham bam, thank you mam and get rid of you, you might have a smile on your face for two minutes, but ultimately you'll be left unfulfilled, depressed and addicted to narcotics as your life slowly gurgles down the drain of the plughole of life as you return again and again to these crappy movies, hoping against hope to even get that two minute smile back, but knowing that each visit just makes you unhappier, lonelier and more abused by cinematic franchises that don't love you and only care about your wallet. While you lose your capability for social interaction and sit there, slack jawed, dribbling to yourself.
Go back to the sixties with Jim, Rollin, Cinnamon, Barney and Willie. Not only will it make you a better, happier, more productive person, but it will also improve your sex life, make the sun shine and boil the kettle for you when you get home from work.