This franchise will self-destruct in - ooh, there it goes now!

Rating: 1/10 (17 December 2011)

Some fella wants to blow up the world, or something. We don't know why, but it doesn't matter, 'cos it's that guy from the Millennium films, therefore your argument is invalid. No explanation is needed.
And now Tom Cruise is driving his amazing flashy Xenu 500 to some posh European cocktail party - or something - where all the doors have been unlocked by that British dweeb who used to be funny. We don't learn how he was able to do any of it, but no explanation is needed because OMG did you see that car.
Now let's pause briefly for another snippet of a weird, uninvolving and unresolved subplot about the wife... and straight back to Tom, faffing about on the outside of a big building, scampering around with a pair of customised washing-up gloves. Snore.
No-one looks to Mission Impossible films for detailed character studies, but there's literally nothing here to make us understand the motivations of the baddies or care on even a shallow level about the goodies. This is a crack-force team of androids for whom nothing seems much of a challenge. They have carbon-fibre bones which cannot break, and an electro-magnetic forcefield which repels bullets. And they're not programmed with personalities.
Tom Cruise is a strange one. He makes these hugely narcissistic films but doesn't seem to be offering any performances worthy of his own faith in himself. He polarises public opinion and doesn't have the broad groundswell of support to be able to afford to churn out such a lazy film at this point in his career.
Nice sandstorm though.