Even my wife could see through the awful writing...

Rating: 5/10 (27 December 2011)

I never write reviews, but I had to with this one. This movie was a joke on so many levels. If you have a brain and actually want to know why things are happening and what's going on, please don't watch this. The writers of this movie should have their Screen Writers Guild Memberships revoked permanently.
First I'll start with the Pros: 1.Cinematography and Screenplay: Breathtaking and beautifully done. 2.Nope, that's it! Only one pro!
Now the Cons: 1.Cruise: Was his old self, good as usual but not great. His role was bad because the writing was elementary at best. He was the old Ethan Hunt minus being intelligent, smart, quick on his feet, calculatedetc. He just hit people and jumped off stuff. 2.Female Agent: Horrible casting. She doesn't work, she's not believable. 3.Tech Specialist Agent: Was apparently supposed to be comic relief. He was a joke. 4.Ving Rhames: Not in the movie except for an ending cameo! Unforgivable! 5.Analyst/Other Male Agent: Good actor, bad writing. The story of why he was no longer in the field was weak! You failed a mission and a woman you don't know died so you quit the field? Weak writing! 6.Russian Cops: Ethan evades them like 5 times. Really? Weak writing! 7.Plot: Never developed. We never know who the crazy guy that wants to blow up the World really is, why he wants to do it, and why does he want to make it look like the IMF team was behind it. He wants to start a nuclear war to "start the World over". Really? Very weak writing! And why the age old Soviet vs. USA plot? 8.Disavowed IMF team: So we fire all our intelligence, counter- intelligence, espionage and special ops people because a building blew up? We've done a lot worst for a lot less and given people medals for it! Weak writing! 9.Prison Escape: It was too easy and elementary. Especially since we later learn that Ethan didn't know they were coming for him. It looked rehearsed; he knew how to perfectly get through every door. How did he know to wait in that room when the ground opened up? 10.Kremlin: His disguise as the general was weak. The gadget to render the hallway image was cool. He got in and out the Kremlin WAY too easy! Then they blew it up! Come on! Is it that easy to blow up government maximally secured buildings these days? 11.Burj Khalifa Scene: No comment. Just No Comment. 12.Billionaire: Coughs up the codes pretty easy huh? Not to mention he's comical and unrealistic. The female agent is pathetic in this scene as well. She's supposed to be seducing him, but she doesn't, but he's still interested. He's a billionaire at his own party with a whole bunch of rich people and can have any chick he wants, but this bumbling woman catches his eyes? Right! 13.Escaping Death: Ethan AKA Evel Knievel escapes death dozens of times. I mean Mission Impossible, yes, but this stuff was literally unrealistic. Freestyle climbing a skyscraper! Escaping maximum security prison! Surviving a sandstorm! Falling to a steep hundred foot crash head on in a vehicle! All kinds of other jumps! All pretty much unscathed! Give me a break. Did I mention the female agent takes a bullet dead on, but is strong enough to fight on for another 20 min! What! 14.Fight Choreography: A joke! Ethan beats on 2 dozen hardened inmates during his escape, but gets smacked around by a senior citizen with a briefcase in the final fight scene? Why did he have such a hard time getting that briefcase from the guy that looked 20 years older than him! Why did the other male agent have such a hard time with the guy in the electrical room when the tech specialist agent had to come in and shoot him. And the cherry, the chick fight was horrible. It's supposed to be super agent vs. super assassin, but the assassin gets handled pretty swiftly? That sucked! 15.The Launch Code Exchange: The tech specialist agent pulls the old fake arm trick? Really? Really? She conveniently finds the contact lens camera? Really? Horrible writing! 16.Sandstorm: What? First of all, why? What are the odds of this happening precisely when this mission is happening? Then, he runs, fights, and tactically pursues in at 120 miles an hour? What? He just happens to have the goggles? What? The dude gets away? What? 17.The Nuke: This was the most unrealistic of them all. First, you can't just buy warheads, buy launch codes and buy a satellite and poof! It doesn't work that way. If a missile is even aimed at a country, every government in the entire world knows it, it's called counter intelligence and satellites of our own! Even pointing a warhead, much less initializing or launching one is an act of war. This would have never even gotten this far, it's called the Cold War. You're telling me they pointed, initialized, launched and stopped a warhead inches from detonating in a major US city? In reality, it would have never reached the Western hemisphere before being shot down by counter missiles. Who wrote this?
Horrible movie. Just bad.