Eye candy, but with little to call its own

Rating: Null/10 (24 June 2002)

There's a scene in Steven Spielberg's "Minority Report" in which cop-turned fugitive John Anderton (Tom Cruise) disguises himself by altering the appearance of his face using a silver-colored metal rod that, well, that changes the appearance of one's face, in the year 2054.
The prop master of "Men in Black" should check the stock, because that movie?s high-tech rod -- you know, the one the alien-hunters use to induce amnesia in anyone who has seen something they shouldn't -- has been pilfered.
How about the pursuit, during which Anderton is chased through the city by a squad of high-tech cops while trying to avoid retina scanners and other police-state-type identification devices? And the central plot engine of frame-up and betrayal? Think "Total Recall."
These are but two examples of how heavily "Report" has borrowed from futuristic films that went before.
Minority Report, in fact, is a great-looking pastiche of concepts and devices from other movies. Unfortunately, it has precious little to call its own.
True, the meld of CGI imagery and live action is perhaps done as well as it has ever been done and the story moves along at a nice, action-filled pace. The plot, however, is paper-thin, and turns on a logical paradox that -- although it's acknowledged as such in the movie -- still leaves a hole in the story big enough to fly a jetpack through.
"Report's" biggest sin, however, may be the utter lack of that element that invested "Total Recall" and "Men in Black" with much of their charm -- humor.
OK, so there is that mild chuckle afforded by the eyes in the plastic bag, but this is a movie that takes itself 'way too seriously.
If Spielberg thought that the tragic plot line of an abducted child and controversy over a legal system that punishes people for what they MIGHT do (shades of post-Sept. 11 angst) would elevate this offering above familiar sci-fi fare, he was wrong.
And while the script is workmanlike, it may be notable for the absence of even one memorable line, such as Leon's chilling, "Wake up, it's time to die" in "Blade Runner."
Minority Report is slick and fun, and about as substantial as cotton candy which, considering it's a product of Steven Spielberg's undeniable skill and a whole whack of money, makes it a major disappointment.