Minority Retort

Rating: 1/10 (22 December 2002)

I've never been a huge fan of Speilburg, I find his movies have great moments or sequences I enjoy but overall leave me feeling kind of cold. This feels like Speilburg was trying to make a movie just for me- he loaded it with actors I like (Max Von Sydow, Jessica Harper, Peter Stormare, Tim Blake Nelson, Samantha Morton), put in a little gore (the whole groovy "eyeball" sequence), even served up a scene where one person vomits on another (always a favorite). But no matter how Sir Stevie panders to me, I cannot like this movie.
There is a festering pile of boogers in this movie, and it's named "Colin Ferrell's Acting". Hasn't anyone noticed how terrible this guy is? Why do they keep putting him in movies? He's awful! One needs only to look at the chase through the car factory: After performing a perilous climb onto a piece of machinery, Farrell pulls out a cross and kisses it. Later, when Tom Cruise is escaping, Farrell slams his fist into his palm ala a bully in a Nickelodian series. And it doesn't help matters that most of the dialog in this movie is god-awful.
And why does this movie end and then go on for another twenty minutes? There's a point where the conspiracy is reveiled via a character giving a big long monologue (like Velma on the Scooby Doo show), then there's a nice, grim, downbeat ending that satisfied me. But no, it keeps going, and going, and has another character give a long monologue explaining stuff that's ALREADY BEEN EXPLAINED. Did the writers think the audience was so stupid they couldn't get it? Or couldn't handle a downbeat ending? There's a point where this movie becomes excrutiating.
I did like how criminals are punished in the future by being dressed like Slim Goodbody, though.