Philip K Dick is shortchanged again

Rating: Null/10 (20 January 2003)

*** Contains Spoilers ***
*sigh* Philip K Dick was one of the finest, maybe even the finest SF writer of the second half of the 20th century. The science fiction movie of the 90's has just caught up with what Dick was doing in the 50's and 60's. Films like The Matrix, The Truman Show, Dark City, Pleasantville, and The Thirteenth Floor are so obviously and totally inspired by PKD and his endless interrogation of the nature of reality that I really think if he were alive, Dick could probably just file suit against Hollywood in general. NONE of these movies credit Dick in any way, and they're ALL good. So why, oh why, whenever someone gets hold of an actual PKD story and film it, do they make such a mess of it? (Bladerunner excepted, but Dick was still alive for that one).
Minority report has one great thing going for it: the central idea of citizens being arrested and punished for crimes they HAVEN'T YET COMMITTED, on evidence provided by gifted precognitives. Unfortunately it's the only really good thing about Minority Report the movie, and Steven Spielberg had nothing to do with it.
Most of my criticisms have been covered below. Inconsistent, uninteresting future world, bad pacing, lapses into sentimentality (and stupid gags), irritating, overexposed cinematography (I've watched films in sepia before, but this is the first one I've watched in chrome), and some really bad plot holes.
Oh, BTW, before I get on to the big spoiler - I realised something while watching this movie. I'm sick of CGI. I really am. This movie is like the last Star Wars. Every outdoor scene is crammed with billions of things whizzing all over the damn place, and what's more they somehow just don't look real. I don't find this exciting anymore; I just find it tiring. Compare this maelstrom of whizzing whatnots with the sparse, ominous sets in Kubrick's 2001.
Ok.... QUITE A MAJOR SPOILER COMING
I admit that if I have read PKD's original story Minority Report, it must have been 20 years ago, and I don't recall it. I mostly read his novels. But I am willing to guess that Dick would have gone some way to explaining this scenario, if indeed it existed in his story:
Tom Cruise's character has been accused of a murder he is yet to commit. The supposed victim is someone he doesn't even know, and he rightly rationalises that it's unlikely he would be going to commit this murder. It's due to happen in about 20 hours, and meanwhile he has escaped and is on the run. He has managed to elude capture so far.
Can someone tell me why his response to this situation is to have his eyes gouged out by some sadistic backstreet doctor (who used to set his patients on fire and make movies of it), disfigure his face, and then sneak into the pre-crime center, which is the place he is most likely to get caught (somehow the security scanner still recognises his retinal scan from the eyeballs he's carrying, despite his being wanted for murder. In fact they still work when his wife uses them, after he's imprisoned), and then abduct a pre-cog and rush off with her, with the whole Washington police force in tow, en route to the supposed future murder scene?
Why doesn't he just sit somewhere safe for 20 hours and wait until the murder doesn't happen, proving his innocence by simply doing nothing?
This is two bad SF movies in a row for Spielberg. Elsewhere I have given one of his movies 10 out of 10. Minority Report scores a 5.
Oh, and could someone make a movie of one of PKD's NOVELS? What is it with this short story thing? It's the same curse that seems to have befallen H.P.Lovecraft. Let's see UBIK, or The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch, or A Scanner Darkly. Only please find someone else to direct it.