Minion Madness Has Never Been This Unbearable!

Rating: Null/10 (24 November 2015)

I had a hunch that I wasn't going to like it but wow, I should not have seen this! This is one of those unforgettable atrocities that absolutely make you despite the very things you once found adorable and although it's quite evident that this stupid vile piece of crap is aimed at kids, does it really have to be this pathetic for the rest of the viewers who were left with no choice but to accompany those little rascals & sit through this unbearable torture?
A spin-off to the Despicable Me series that also serves as a prequel, Minions tells the story of its titular characters; the small, yellow henchmen of Gru who have been around since the very beginning and have served the most despicable of masters throughout their existence. The plot follows three of them who, in order to find their group a new master, venture out of their isolation and into Orlando where they meet the world's first female supervillain at the Villain-Con.
Written by Brian Lynch and directed by Kyle Balda & Pierre Coffin, Minions neither features a script nor any sort of direction for it is one of the dumbest productions ever green-lighted by any studio. From the very opening scene when these minions accompany the Universal logo, you can feel your intuition telling you to walk out. But the level of annoyance & highly off-putting human characters that inhabit this turd turn it into an experience that many will regret for the rest of their lives.
Although minion madness was a surprise delight in Despicable Me, it worked because they were effectively used to support the relevant characters. Despicable Me 2 did upgrade their time on screen & was a laughter riot in a way but it also exhibited inferiority in story quality when compared to its predecessor. But to allocate an entire picture based on these yellow little bastards is a huge mistake for it simply kills the fun by overdoing it and with no story or character development, it's just not worth it.
And yet the worst thing about Minions isn't the minions but the extremely forced & childish attempts at humour as well as the few human characters that are penned into the storyline. The gibberish insanity becomes dull sooner than expected, the narration that accompanies the plot was unnecessary, the villain is one of the worst ever imaginable, it feel too long for a 90 minutes movie, animation isn't much of an issue but everything around it is, and from start to finish, it's filled with nothing but one terrible scene after another.
On an overall scale, Minions is an uninspiring, unnecessary & mind-numbingly awful movie that not only goes down as one of the worst films of the year but is also amongst the worst films ever made. There are a couple of amusing moments but for the most part, this movie is a ghastly, repulsive & all-out flat experience that's capable of totally destroying your love for the little yellow freaks, if there was any. Too much of a good thing can have devastating consequences and Minions is definitely a strong testament to that. Skip it or suffer.