A failure on many levels

Rating: 1/10 (25 September 2019)

I prefer to think there are many criteria that can all be judged diffirently as opposed to an overall rating. Things like Plot, Charatcers/Casting, Enjoyability, Visual Presentation, and heart, and by heart I mean how necesarry I think the movie is narratively. Minions fails on all five levels. It fails on plot right off the bat because you're making a movie about voiceless unfunny phallic symbols that hardly needed to be in the original film, with everything else being so vaguely tied to the main point of the story that it's actually funny. it fails in characters because again, phallic symbols, and they wasted MIchael Keaton, while the actual minions learn nothing from the experience. It fails on enjoyability because it's annoying, painfully unfunny, and has very little coherence to it's own premise. It does passably on visual presentation, the minions and pointy nosed humans are so unmemorably simplistic that you don't remember much of anything. And it fails worst of all on heart, because it's a spinoff for no reason other than the obvious, and it disgusts me that this sits very nearly atop the animation box office.