An unneeded film that barely works a quarter of the time.

Rating: 3/10 (2 July 2015)

Minions is basically Cars 2 or Planes from a logic standpoint. The only reason it's made is to sell minions merchandise to billions of screaming toddlers. The Minions were funny comedic reliefs but they were far from what made Despicable Me and its sequel enjoyable. IMO, it was Gru and his unique relationship with everyone.
From a film standpoint, it's only slightly more enjoyable than Cars 2/Planes. Unlike the other two, this one has it's funny gags going for it. I'll admit, the Minions are funny. Not hilarious, but funny. However, the positives stop there. The film is so, so predictable, it's funny. It is literally every origin story you've heard before. It is literally Monsters University except with Minions. Also, it uses every kids movie trope you can think of. "Hip" and "Cool" talk? Check. Pop culture references? Check. Bathroom jokes? Check. Annoying voices from anyone who's not yellow? Check. It's the same pandering clichés we've seen from every Dreamworks film in the mid-2000s. In terms of the characters, besides the Minions, a few cracked maybe a slight laugh out of me, but the rest are either stupid or annoying. Again, typical trope of mid-2000s Dreamworks films.
How about the animation? Of course I like the Minions' character designs, and some of the backgrounds and textures look nice- in the first quarter of the film-, but MY GOD are the character designs awkward to look at! All of their humans have thin heads and fat bodies or the other way around. Oh, and don't forget the ultra tiny eyes! This was one of my biggest (and only) gripes about the Despicable Me films, as well as in that garbage known as "The Lorax", and it's no different here!
So to sum up, Minions has no purpose other than merchandise. I wanted to be surprised by the film. Even coming from someone who loved the Despicable Me films, Minions is a completely predictable, clichéd, and pandering movie that sort of works as a prequel to its predecessors but does not work as a film by itself. Yes, it made me laugh sometimes, but being funny can't be the only trait of the movie. Everywhere else it fails.
Adults are going to roll their eyes at this movie, even ones (like I said before) that liked DM and/or DM2. This film is mainly a time waster for children, and those who live the minions at that. Just wait for it to come out on iTunes.
Premise: 2/10 Writing: 4/10 Animation: 6/10 Characters: 4/10 Tolerance: 6/10
Overall Score: 4/10