Bloody awful.

Rating: 1/10 (16 July 2015)

My seven year old was excited to see it. I expected it to be pish. But it was worse than I imagined. I fell asleep a few times but the annoying yelling pretend dialogue woke me up. I couldn't even get a nap out of my wasted afternoon. At least I didn't have to worry about my kid laughing too loudly and disturbing anyone else's sleep. He got bored too. Just utter crap. They clearly spent a lot on the music. The Beatles, the kinks, and van Halens eruption as a guitar solo at the merciful end to this travesty of a film. If only they had spent the money on a scriptwriter rather than the over- caffeinated sixth graders they got hopped up on juice boxes before handing them some paper to defecate on and call that a script. The humor in the film was non existent. I expected lots of broad fart jokes and low brow stupidity aimed at chimps, five year olds, and the same kind of morons who made Kevin James a star. What I got was obvious pop culture references not as punchlines or set up for jokes. Just there. As if the existence of a reference to something recognizable was in and of itself funny. Perhaps it served as a confidence booster for the gump-like, slack jawed, troglodytes that were the target audience. They could all feel jolly clever after recognizing such obscure references as the Beatles. Well done. If I had a time machine and only choose to change one thing in the pas, forget hitter, I would go back to stop whoever green lit this cinematic excretion.