A boring and uninteresting cash-grab. (What you expected.)

Rating: 3/10 (10 July 2015)

Be honest. You knew this was gonna be bad. I went into "Minions" expecting exactly what I got in return.
The "Minion" characters were first introduced in "Despicable Me" (2010), and were a very creative and original concept. the idea of yellow, gibberish-speaking freaks as side characters was actually kind of funny. "Despicable Me" was a huge success financially, and was generally received well with most critics. After this, the minions were everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE. Toys, video games, clothes, backpacks, mugs, even amusement park rides. So naturally, a sequel was inevitable. And so came "Despicable Me 2" (2013). They did a good job "upping the ante" with the laughs and and the characters were even better than the first. I really enjoyed the combo of Steve Carell and Kristen Wiig, but the main antagonist, while funny, was not as good as Vector. The "Minion Craze" however led to most of the film focusing on them. It could be funny at times, but overall didn't work, which was really my only problem with the film, other than the lack of a little more character development.
So just when you thought Illumination Entertainment were going to make another original movie, in comes the announcement of a Minion spin- off, literally called "Minions". Original, right?
I really didn't know what they were going to do with their "characters" in this film, which are Bob, Kevin, and Stuart. Yeah, remember those minions that were mentioned like once or twice in the previous films? Yeah? Well now they're main characters for some reason. I mean, what else could you've done? The Minions are a completely disposable group of "characters" with literally no personality traits to differ one from another. There are literally THOUSANDS of them, kinda like the Clone Troopers from "Attack of the Clones" (2002). They ended up giving over-used, boring "personalities" to them. Kevin was the leader, who only wants to be respected by his tribe. Bob was the kind-hearted, lovable one. And Stuart was the idiotic "bad boy" who liked music for some reason? What makes these traits even more stupid is that they are never mentioned in the originals, and they probably won't be in any upcoming sequels either.
I am glad, however that there are actually HUMAN characters in the film. Scarlet Overkill, played by Sandra Bullock, is the films main antagonist. Sadly however, her personality and monologue are also over-used and generic. A female antagonist seemed pretty cool, and you can tell she has some traits similar to a "James Bond" villain. Until they explain that the reason that she's evil is that she was abandoned as a child, and only wanted to be adored and loved by the world, like a queen. Yeah. You've heard it before. Not to mention that to me Bullock's voice acting seemed pretty wooden, like she just kept her eyes on the script the whole time she recorded her lines. It may be just me, but probably not, considering how many other problems this movie has. Her boyfriend Herb, played by Jon Hamm, while sort of funny at times, was also pretty flat and boring, like literally every OTHER human characters.
Back to the humor. Again, after TWO other movies, the Minions just aren't funny. Not to mention all the 60's and 80's pop-culture jokes and British stereotypes that I'm sure no kid in the theater would understand, as well as a flat-out SEX JOKE, that oddly enough, I'm sure most kids in the theater WOULD get.
However. There was actually one bit that I laughed at, where Kevin is fooling around with one of Herb's machines. It quite possibly was the only thing I could call funny about "Minions". (But I won't explain it in detail, because this is a no spoiler review.)
I just don't get it. Both kids and their parents busted out laughing at the most dumb attempts at comedy you've ever seen. I just don't understand why people are still eating up what I dubbed "Minion Humor".
But again, it is what I expected: Not god-awful, but not good whatsoever. But I might be going a little to rough on it. It's just difficult for me to understand why everyone wanted a solo Minion feature so badly. To be honest, It would be sort of idiotic not to make one, considering how much money they've made with the franchise. (They even recycled music from the other installments) But it's not like they didn't try, considering how clear and detailed the animation looks. It just seemed very rushed, and if they could flesh out the human characters a little more and add better humor (Considering most of the "okay" humor was in the trailers), it could've been a lot better.
Sadly, it wasn't.
The kids for sure will enjoy "Minions" (below 10 yrs). Parents (More than likely) will find this boring at times or somewhat entertaining. (But who knows, everyone else on IMDb seems to like it.)
"Minions" was a huge success on opening day and, sadly, will for sure be one of the Summer's award-winning, block-busters.