One of the worst and cheapest cash-grabs in movie history

Rating: 1/10 (25 July 2015)

This has to be the most uninspired cash grab I have ever seen. I came in with low expectations, watched it bored, and left in anger. Even though I didn't pay to see this, I still feel cheated as a moviegoer.
Nobody tried on this movie. None of the characters were interesting and I wanted the minions to die every time they got in a life-threatening situation. I don't understand why they're so beloved.
The thing that makes movies like Pixar films and a FEW of Dreamworks' stuff good is the humanity, emotion, and storytelling. This had none of that. You don't feel anything. You shouldn't even CARE about the minions. They're just living merchandise that can move and talk on screen. The first Despicable Me definitely had emotion to it and it was decent. This was kinda like Despicable Me 2, but far worse.
I could also tolerate a movie with few emotional substance, if it at least had enough humor to make it watchable. But it didn't even have that many jokes either! I didn't laugh once, except for a chuckle or two. The people in the theater that did laugh didn't even laugh that hard.
The 60's references were predictable (Look! The Beatles are walking across Abbey Road!) and while the soundtrack was my kind of music, it was all just generic 60's music hits. Like every major artist from the 60's had a song in the movie. Nothing you haven't heard before.
The only thing holding me back from giving this the lowest possible score of 0.5/5 is that it didn't have Video Brinquedo-quality animation. But it still wasn't incredible or impressive in any way. At this point it's honestly hard to find a CGI movie with unique and stunning animation, except Hotel Transylvania or Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.
If you have a faint interest in seeing this, just don't buy a ticket for it. Watch Inside Out or Ant-Man or another good movie then sneak in to see it. But even seeing it for free wasn't worth my time.
Destroy Illumination Entertainment. Destroy the people behind this movie. Destroy every person that clamored for more minions and enjoyed this filth. Destroy every person responsible for this dreck. Destroy this planet.
Animation is dead. Cinema is dead. Humanity is dead. We caused this Hell and deserve to live in it and suffer.