Poorly written but brilliantly executed

Rating: 7/10 (8 September 2015)

"Minions" has many amusing moments and the animation is simply amazing. The textures of intricately woven curtains, hair/fur and spittle are amazing, as is the elastic quality of skin and other surfaces and the ability to change perspective while maintaining an astounding level of detail. It's fun to watch simply to see how far animation has advanced since "Steamboat Willie."
However, it is not nearly as much fun to watch as the Despicable Me movies for a number of reasons.
The notion that the minions are motivated by a desire to submit themselves to mindless servitude to the most evil villain makes them less sympathetic and seems contrary to some of their actions, particularly when they oppose those villains. It's much better to think of them as innocent, fun-loving, mischievous characters whom Gru is able to manage and motivate through his charisma and by rewarding them with silly things.
The idea that the minions are basically immortal and have survived for eons allows the filmmakers to put them into amusing historical situations without addressing the question of how they reproduce. However, it (a) stretches credulity beyond the snapping point; (b) eliminates/undermines the infatuations that were so charming in the DM movies; and (c) lessens dramatic tension, as it's difficult to imagine they can ever be killed after surviving dinosaurs and eons of wars and pestilence.
Gru's plot to steal the moon was ridiculous, but within the cosmos of reality established for the film. The audience simply accepts it and moves on, even though the rational mind would reject the idea. The theft of the pyramid was the same sort of thing, the theft of a massive, immovable object. Minions creates new wrinkles and incongruities that haven't been set up and that the audience isn't ready to accept, such as the sword and stone, rules of succession and Kevin's transformation.
The movie doesn't have a love interest for the protagonist. Kevin loves his fellow minions, and Scarlet and Herb Overkill love each other, but love isn't nearly as important as in the DM movies, with the orphans, the Gru/Lucy and Antonio/Margo romances and the romantic fantasies of the minions.
The music isn't nearly as good. The DM movies have several musical interludes that are fun. "Minions" has corpulent palace guards doing a male striptease.
The minions don't seem as fun-loving or playful as in DM. The historic disasters with the dinosaur, bear, pyramid, vampire and cannon are all caused by them trying to be helpful, not by losing attention and engaging in some playful prank.
The violence isn't always comical. Bob lifting an ice bolder over his head, then being crushed under its weight but surviving unscathed is funny. A dinosaur doing a Wile E. Coyote delayed fall over a precipice is funny to a point. Falling to a horrific death is not funny.
The structure is weak. There isn't a strong through line. The stated objective of subjugation of the clan would be considered defeat in any other circumstances. There is no refusal of the call to adventure except by Stuart. Kevin volunteers and Bob eagerly accepts the call. There are several deus ex machina resolutions employing plot devices that weren't foreshadowed. It seems episodic. Some scenes seem self-indulgent, as if included because the filmmakers wanted to show what they could do, not because they advanced the plot or character development.
As an antagonist, Scarlet Overkill doesn't seem villainous enough. She wants to steal the queen's crown, which will somehow give her claim to the throne of England. She seemed like a pale shadow of Johnny English's nemesis, Pascal Sauvage, but motivated by insanity, not by villainy.
The story doesn't have a good theme or moral. The minions bounce from one objective to another and spend much of the movie fleeing for their lives. What message can we take away for our own lives? If you spend eons trying to subjugate your tribe to the rule of another, you will eventually succeed? If you throw off the shackles of one villainous master, you can find another to serve? What sort of message is that for our children?
Despite the many shortcomings relative to the prior DM films, it has many enjoyable moments. The pyramid scene is outrageously funny. It doesn't belong in the film, but it's one of the best scenes.