such a love or hate movie

Rating: 1/10 (30 January 2005)

and i am firmly on the latter. i walked out of this movie thinking it was average, but in the three days since, I've realized i was way too easy on this steaming sentimental, emotionally manipulative pile of clichés. Clint has retained the same mood and overall atmosphere of mystic river (which is a lot better than MDB), obviously hoping to gain the same success with a few more Oscars, which he will probably win (much to my chagrin): the sadness and tragic ending felt so so similar to MR.
Clint cant act. there i said it. seriously, i think his directorial skills (which are far from amazing) more than outdoes his acting skills. i mean he delivers his lines the same as when he was playing the man with no name. but hey, if it keeps getting him lots of money and awards, well more power to ya old timer. this is one of my major problems with MDB: not one of the three leads (freeman, Eastwood, and swank) are pushing themselves or their acting skills to a level deserving of the accolades and overwhelming praise being heaped upon them. swank has played this role before, freeman has played this role before, Clint has done this role before.
the 'humor' in this movie was lame as hell. really lame. super-duper lame. so forced and artificial it felt like a bad sitcom. Clint and Morgan arguing over brands of bleach. Clint and Morgan talking about holes in his socks. half a chuckle was all this movie could elicit from me. and the biggest lamest attempt at humor in the movie was the character "Danger", a scrawny young redneck with dreams of being a great fighter when its obvious he would get whipped by my grandma. the joke about how he is bewildered about how ice could get in a bottle was not funny at all. I'm sorry Clint but not even southern rednecks are that stupid to not know that water freezes into ice, or maybe you mean to tell us they don't have fridges in that part of the country yet??? incidentally, the whole subplot about danger was totally irrelevant and out of place with the rest of the plot, it felt like filler big time. the characterizations and broad stereotypes Clint labels the 'trailer trash' family and danger the 'stupid redneck' with were pretty offensive.
the first two acts play out like a cross between Rocky and Girlfight. Clint doesn't want to train Maggie because she's a girl. eventually he agrees and trains her up until she gets a title shot against a dirty German fighter during which the movie enters the third act with a major twist in the plot. sounds a bit uneventful huh? well it is. apart from the training some other minor events happen (like Maggie buying her mom a house) but nothing happens really; just training and fighting until the third act. during the title fight i was absolutely incredulous that the fight wasn't called on a disqualification. the German girl pulls some dirty moves that, despite me not being a boxing aficionado, I'm pretty sure would get her disqualified immediately. i mean come on, if pulling moves like these didn't get you disqualified every pro fighter would be doing them. also, the fight scenes were fake as hell, no thought or effort was put into the fight choreography. its very obvious that swank spent all her time working out to get a buff body rather than actually look like she could throw a decent punch, she didn't look like she was a competent boxer let alone the unbeatable champion she is portrayed as. not one of her fights are won on points, every one is a knockout usually in the first round. how freaking realistic.
in conclusion, I'm amazed at the positive response this movie has gotten. i guess people really do equate a sad and tragic ending with greatness. Mystic River moved me, i cried several times during the film. this movie left me unmoved, its emotional manipulativeness and hollow sentimentality was something even Spielberg would gag on. i really hate to simplify movies but in this case i think it stands true: MDB is just a Rocky ripoff with a tragic sad twist at the end.