Nothing but "Hootie" hype

Rating: 3/10 (7 March 2005)

In 1995 Hootie and the Blowfish were everywhere, they were the number 1 album in the country, they were all over the radio, and now? Now Hootie is dressed up on TV like Porter Wagoner selling burgers. What happened? It was all hype; America has to have a #1, has to have something to hype, and since nothing was better than Hootie that year, it was number one by default; not really that good, just all hype - and so is this movie.
Look at its competition - Ray and The Aviator. I'm no racist, but is there really that much demand for a movie about Ray Charles? Next time your friends start that "Ray Charles was a musical genius" talk, say, "Wow, you must be a big fan, how many of his albums do you have?". The response will sound like this, "Well, I don't actually have any of his albums, but...". Again, recently-dead-man-PC-correct hype; but still just hype. The Aviator is at least 20 years too late coming out. I was born in '67 and barely recall hearing of Howard Hughes when he died. Ask anyone under 30 who he was and they may know. Ask them why he's rich and famous and they'll have no clue. Supporting my theory again, Million Dollar Baby is #1 by default, there's nothing better right now to hype.
Let's break it down: It was TOO long and too slow. Why was Clint estranged from his daughter? We don't know, they never bothered to tell us. The truth is Clint should give his Oscar to Dana Reeves, Superman's wife, because this movie is Christopher Reeve's story, just minus the horse accident. In real life sometimes strong people get hurt accidentally and they die - the end. That's life, but it's not a very good movie.
A better movie  A) They tell us more of the girl's terrible upbringing and show her awful family more, and she becomes heavyweight champion (okay, it's called Rocky and we've seen that already). B) She fights to overcome the neck injury and regains limited mobility and (semi) defeats paralysis (I'm sure this has been done too, I just don't know what it was called). C) She really can't get better, but Clint loves her as his surrogate daughter (because they've better explained where is real daughter is) and he cares for her the rest of her life because he finally learned to love somebody (again, probably been done). Any of those beat what we got.
Lastly, if you kill somebody, you don't just go have lemon pie; I'd bet the police might want to see you. And, I'm not Catholic, but a priest who drops the F-bomb at church, I don't think so. So be a "Hootie" sheep or see this picture for what it really ain't.