Shakespeare once remarked, "You eat what you hoe . . . "

Rating: 9/10 (10 November 2019)

. . . and he also warned, "He that lives by the sneak attack dies with mushroom clouds out front and back" (or words to that effect, MACBETH, Act V). MIDWAY bears out both of these messages from the Bard, as it chronicles the surprise and fall of the sun worshippers' isle. MIDWAY (aka, JAPANESE FLEET: QUADRUPLE TAP) is the best 2019 outing for American acting icon "Woody H.," as well. However, the best line in this flick is given to an Enemy flunky: "Heavenly Sovereign, we must get you to a bomb shelter." This sort of irrational thought led the deluded Enemy to imagine that they could simply traipse over to the USA, and annex the Texas-Oklahoma oil fields because they were too cheap to pay the going rate for gasoline, MIDWAY's prologue documents. However, MIDWAY stops short of revealing the even sadder epilogue to this tale, in which 60% of Today's cerebrally-challenged Americans tool around in foreign-designed Trojan Horse sneak attack vehicles, most of which are booby trapped with explosive shrapnel delivery systems and homicidal "faulty"-on-purpose self-destruct computer programming. Tragically, the few Loyal Citizens who still have manufacturing jobs frequently have their lives snuffed out in collisions with these defective Revenge-Mobiles. Leader Trump MUST immediately declare a National Emergency, and ban such ticking time bomb vehicles from our public highways before they can run down the few remaining MIDWAY battle survivors, which would give our Enemy the last laugh!