MidSlumber...Zzzzz

Rating: 4/10 (9 July 2019)

I have NO IDEA how there are positive reviews (actually I do. They absolutely must have gotten paid or belong to the production, advertisement of this movie) on here but I have decided to neutralize those with my unpleasant opinion of this MidSlumber drivel. If you have problems sleeping, go see this film. I did give it a generous 4 out of 10 (D) solely due to the concept, idea. I was intrigued by the preview but the execution was disastrous!
Midsommer was one of the most disappointing films I've ever seen in my 39 years on this planet. This means a lot because I am a huge movie buff that enjoys all types of genres especially horror. Expecting to see something somewhat close to the brilliance of Hereditary; I received a painful nightmare of a movie that lasted two hours and twenty minutes! There was no solid pacing. It dragged on and on only for it to slow down even more.
I kept expecting the movie to pick up and piece everything together but it never did. I'm not sure why there was a need to get the main female (Dani) character's family killed (her sister killed herself and the parents with carbon monoxide). It added nothing to the story aside from additional run time that was not necessary. They also introduce a storyline where her and the boyfriend (Christian) are going through a tumultuous relationship. He's trying to find a way to break up with her but the deaths of her family is not helping the situation. He books a trip with his buddies without telling her only for her to find out last second and tag along for the ride. One of Christian's bros that belongs to the cult is trying to get with Dani behind his back. He draws her pictures on her birthday and hints that she is not being appreciated. Why was any of this necessary if it never translated into anything further down? The movie could have been cut short 30-40 minutes, easily.
We get it. They decided to take a road trip to Sweden and explore this weird cultural awakening while doped up on shrooms only to realize it's this demonic cult practicing incest, sacrificing humans while staring into the sun that never comes down. Was it really necessary for it to be so long when nothing is happening? I would think that seeing two old people randomly jumping to their deaths off a cliff would be a clear cut sign to get out of dodge but apparently it wasn't enough for the group of friends. I guess eating pubes found in their "chicken pot pies" was a common misunderstanding as well. It was a long, dragging period of awkwardness only for it to get more weirder.
Numerous friends of theirs and a couple have mysteriously disappeared yet they're still participating in their festivities. Why is there not a stronger reaction or suspicion to these incidents? It makes you not want to root for or relate to the main characters. The black guy? Gone. The guy that pissed on the ancestral tree? Vanishes with a girl. The couple that actually reacted to the suicides and crushing faces? Where'd they go? Dani drinks an odd looking concoction that looks like diarrhea mixed with water despite clearly seeing something's not right. The drink is spiked and has Dani dancing in a competition for becoming the May Queen. Of course, she wins and is selected to be their representative?
While that is happening, Christian goes into a wooden shack to find a bunch of naked women from the cult waiting for him. One in specific is going to be divirginized in a leafy platter so that she can get impregnated with his seed. Why him? Not sure. The other women are gathered around cheering him on with cringy chants to make sure he performs successfully. He looks uncomfortable but is still able to finish despite an old lady assisting with the thrusting from behind. This brought several laughs throughout the theatre. I thought it was a comedy for a second. Dani catches the spectacle (women's intuition I guess or was it the chants?) from a peek through the door lock. She's shattered and bursts into screams/cries. The women mimic her bellows in the most annoying way possible.
Christian seems to have realized what he's done and bursts out of there butt naked. He finds the bodies of his friends and the missing couple with their intestines torn apart. One of the cult members blows 'fairy dust' into his face as it paralyzes him and enables him from speaking. The final sacrifice is about to take place. A total of nine bodies (a combination that is not explained) have been gathered. Dani is dressed up as a peacock of flowers but she is clearly under the influence of whatever substance that she drank. She has to pick the final person they will sacrifice and she picks Christian. They dress him up in a gutted, bear costume (why? No idea) and sit him up in the middle of the shack with the other taxidermy bodies with branches and stuff. He is burned alive along with a few other cult members that volunteered their services to their ritual. The end.