This Coach Is Just a Pumpkin

Rating: 2/10 (22 August 2013)

"Midnight in Paris" is a time travel fantasy with a taxi as the means of conveyance, like H.G. Wells' time machine or the pumpkin carriage that transports Cinderella to the ball. Gil (Owen Wilson) travels back to 1920's "Lost Generation" Paris where he hobnobs with his arts and letters heroes, and even to "la belle époque" of the 1890's. Me, I'd like to visit the '40's and '50's. There's a few famous folks I'd like to meet. I should have liked "Midnight in Paris", but it, mostly, left me cold, and I wasn't charmed by its many quaint artifices.
People I've spoken to who have seen this movie are quite tickled by its whimsical premise. It's a pretty, dreamy soufflé that, unfortunately, sinks and congeals very quickly. I, myself, was quite eager to follow our wide-eyed hero as he tumbled down the rabbit-hole, bumping into the celebrities of the day, the likes of Fitzgerald, Hemingway, Bunuel, Baker, Porter, Picasso, Dali, Gauguin, Toulouse-Lautrec and on and on and on. There were so many celebs that I'm surprised that Woody Allen didn't simply roll out a red carpet.
And what a dull, boring, inane lot they all are! They're not characters, or even caricatures – they're cardboard cut-outs (or cut-ups), and Allen hasn't penned a memorable line of dialogue for any of them. In fact, the screenplay is devoid of any wit, and the characters (all of them) lack any flesh or blood, depth or weight. Shouldn't great artists be just a little bit dangerous, if not in their behaviour, at least in their ideas? In one pointless scene Gil and Adriana (Marion Cotillard, easily the best thing in the film) encounter a suicidal Zelda Fitzgerald by the Seine. Just so that Gil can draw upon historical knowledge and convince her that F. Scott really loves her ("I know. Take my word for it") and offer her a Valium. Suicide? Just a gag.
Why must Woody Allen write protagonists who are merely variations of the Woody Allen screen persona? This often bothered me with Owen Wilson's Gil, who I didn't, for a moment, believe was a successful Hollywood screenwriter, hack or no hack. And as for his relationship with the shrew played by Rachel McAdams – that strained credibility even further. By the way – I just have to ask – wouldn't Gil do re-writes on a computer, and what font do you suppose he used in the original manuscript he presents to Gertrude Stein? Just a thought.
"Midnight in Paris" is a one-note wonder with a script that is lazy and shallow. It's practically an insult to the great men and women of arts and letters who litter its scenes. Around the time that I saw "Midnight in Paris" I also caught Richard Linklater's dreamy, but alive, "Before Sunrise". Now, there's magic for you.