Who let this Dog out?

Rating: 2/10 (6 February 2010)

Much like Speed 2: Cruise Control, the sequel Men in Black II went down near the top of the list of all-time drops in quality from the original. This movie sucked.
I'll admit some of the humor and special effects were good. That part accounted for 3% of the entire movie. So, math buffs, that means 97% or an overwhelming majority of the so-called comedy lines and special effects were just plain awful. What a giant step backward from the creativity in the MIB universe and laugh-out-loud comedic lines from part 1.
Everything, and I mean everything was overkill. Similar to the enormously overused Scrat in the sequel Ice Age: The Meltdown, Frank the Pug, one of the best characters created in MIB 1, is not only in 40% of the movie, they overstayed his welcome to the point of severe annoyance. (Who Let the Dogs Out? was old way before this movie came into existence and was too obvious anyways.) In addition, Kay (Jones) spewing off codes and Jay (Smith) going to mush every time Jay overshadows him was just getting stale.
And the worst part (if you don't count Johnny Knoxville selling out, in addition to the worst and most unfunny CGI character since Jar Jar) was that one of the best aspects of MIB 1 was Jones's straight man character, Jay. Here, they have to cover up for MIB 1's mistake in that closing. He went into retirement and they spend exactly half the movie getting him to reverse this error in the plot. Thank God, they didn't give Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) amnesia in the Lethal Weapon 1 finale and then spend half of the wonderful Lethal Weapon 2 trying to not only get his character back on track but satisfy what they audience came to see.
In this abomination sequel, aside from the aforementioned bringing Jay back into the line of duty, we have lonely and depressed Kay going through partners like Elizabeth Taylor. Once back with Jay, they battle another alien (in the form of the gorgeous, but practically useless in her role, Boyle) who, again, wants a small object that will again destroy the Earth in the matter of an hour. Again.
You'll see characters from part one, like Torn's Zed flip in the air because, well, they think it would be funny for someone 108 years old kickboxing. You'll see Frank the Pug sing and whine and sing and whinerepeatedly. You'll see terrible and unfunny cameos from (the now late) Michael Jackson and Martha Stewart – which would've been funny, if the joke wasn't already used just about enough in the first movie. You see a grosser Knoxville than his persona from Jackass, but that's just because his 2-headed CGI character was horribly juvenile – more so than the MTV show. One of him is just enough. And you'll see everything you loved about the original being flushed away. (Literally.) And what's the deal with the original and wonderful Linda Fiorentino not returning? Obviously Jones and Smith were getting a boatload to sell out. It must have played out like this when she read the script: Fiorentino probably smiled and said, "You've got to be kidding me. At least I have standards." SKIP! Let's hope MIIIB is better; they've certainly had enough time to prepare. Jones is NOT getting any younger and he can't start using the Lethal Weapon line "I'm getting too old for this sh*t" as we already know that.