Why, Barry?!? Why?

Rating: 2/10 (12 July 2002)

Before I begin, let me start by saying that the original Men in Black
was the film version of M&Ms; delicious, satisfying, and amazingly
quick to disappear. That is to say, Men in Black was the ideal
summer movie, 90 minutes of pure fun and enjoyment, no
moments wasted, every piece working to serve the whole, the
ideal summer movie. Will Smith was perfectly suited for his role
as 'J', the young and impressionable cop turned Man in Black. His
mannerisms predicted an excellent career as a physical
comedian, full of wide eyed wonder and bemused exuberance.
Tommy Lee Jones was a perfect deadpan 'K', the wily eyed veteran
whose witticisms were all the more funny because of his deadpan
nature ("we at the FBI have no sense of humor that we are aware
of'). Good stuff. And we actually had a villain worth watching in
Vincent D'Onofrio as the largest cockroach in the universe.

In Men in Black II, Smith once again seems bemused and Jones...
well, Jones just seems dead. This is the perfect example of a
sequel created for all the wrong reasons: commercial tie-ins
abound, product placement is everywhere (since when is there a
Spring PCS store at MiB headquarters?), and the script appears to
have largely been an afterthought to the over-the-top special
effects which are, quite frankly, no better than the previous film. As
my good friend Jay pointed out, Tommy Lee Jones looks like he is
calculating how much money he is making for this film and
wonder whether its worth it. Will Smith does his level best but his
role as the cocky veteran only works to show how tired this film
feels. Lara Flynn Boyle is the new alien bent on destruction this
time around but the plot makes little to no sense (granted, these
are high concept movies to begin with but there should at least be
a modicum of thought put into even a bubble gum film). She is
largely listless and uninteresting. And poor Rip Torn as the head
of MiB has nothing to do at all this time around except get encased
in alien vines.
Most of the blame for this rests squarely on the shoulders of Barry
Sonnenfeld, a director that I have previously admired a great deal.
The original MiB, Get Shorty, and the Addams Family movies are
all excellent examples of timing, pacing, and scripting working to
create an entertaining whole. Everything about MiBII seems off in
these regards. Scenes seem flat, the characters interactions are
reduced to sound bites (Seen the trailer? That's about the pacing
for this whole film), and everyone looks like they would rather be
elsewhere.
If you want dumb comedy this summer, go see Scooby Doo
instead. At least it has some genuine belly laughs. MiBII will
simply make youur belly ache for the original.