The most forced, joyless comedy ever.

Rating: 2/10 (29 July 2002)

There is only one rule when making a successful sequel. That is, that the sequel has has to be head and shoulders above its predecessor to be considered good at all. It has to be fresh. The key to making a good comedy is to make the humor seem effortless enough so that the audience can enjoy it without having to be told what is funny (this is why laugh-tracks on sitcoms are the worst idea ever). The key to creating a good plot is to give it time to develop, and to let the audience enjoy its twists and turns, whether they be good or bad.
Sadly, Men in Black II accomplishes none of these. Aliens come to earth, threaten to destroy it, yada yada yada, MIB has to figure out what's going on before the earth is destroyed, yada yada yada, big guns, alien explodes at the end, just in the nick of time, after being hit by the big guns. Which of the movies am I describing? Both of them. Far from being fresh, this sequel is exactly the same as the original.
As for the humor... there was humor? Simply put, this movie had its moments. Unfortunately, they were few and far between, and, in any case, significantly less interesting than the continual clashing of personalities in the first movie. This was due to the simple fact that in MIB II, Agents Jay and Kay acted identically.
As for the plot, throughout the film, the characters were supposed to be hunting down clues to the location of the light. Instead of getting the feeling that I was watching the characters unlock a mystery, I get the feeling that I'm watching a bratty teenager and his crotchety uncle following a scavenger hunt to... who cares. The film never conveys a sense of importance to the audience about what they are looking for, or why this thing is so important. Not only that, but this wafer thin plot is crumpled into an 88 minute timeframe, leaving, well, a mess.
Maybe the problem is that everybody involved was so determined to make a good movie, that every idea from the past five years ended up getting forced into one movie. Or, everybody involved in the movie was so determined to get a big fat payday, that they didn't care about how crappy their movie turned out. There. That one sounds more reasonable.
I gave this movie a 3 out of 10. Not the worst movie ever, but definitely not worth my time.