Steaming Turd

Rating: Null/10 (8 July 2002)

I didn't expect much from this movie, but it managed to surpass my lowest expectations. WHAT a massive steaming turd sits there on the screen. Everyone involved should be ashamed. By now we're used to movies without plot, but this one didn't even have a beginning, middle, and end! It just starts, goes, and stops. It's over before you feel like it's begun. If something worked in the first movie, you have ten times as much here. The audience I saw it with chuckled lightly maybe twice, and that was it. Anything worth seeing was in the preview. You would think that if you have to spend so long making a film, you would try to make something that is in some way worthwhile, if only to keep yourself interested.
What was particularly repulsive were the moments when we're supposed to feel deep emotion for the characters. "Okay! Feel emotion now! Okay, now back to the spaceships!" I hope everyone involved enjoys their paychecks, I'm sure they will. If you loved "Men in Black," my advice is: rent "Men in Black." This movie succeeds best at being an 88-minute commercial, which is essentially what it is. You might save yourself $10 and just stay home driving bamboo underneath your fingernails. Just an option.
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