the crap is back

Rating: 1/10 (24 July 2002)

Let me start by saying, I did not pay to see this film. I was coerced. Needless to say, I expected nothing out of my moviegoing experience. I was still let down. I could attempt to summarize this film, but frankly it was so poorly put together that I can't remember anything but tentacles sprouting from an otherwise very attractive Laura Flynn Boyle. I didn't care much for the first installment of this corporate sellout franchise, but I never hold a grudge (I've sat through both Lethal Weapon 4 and Beverly Hills Cop 3 with an open mind).
The special effects, which were stupid and not believable in the first one, have gotten even worse. How is it possible to be thrown 100 feet in the air and land without any broken limbs, let alone without a scratch? I guess they're going for the 'ol make the dumb audience chuckle routine, but not many fish were biting in the theater I attended. Sure, the guy in front of me seemed to enjoy some of the dumb one-liners thrown out like peanuts - however I did not break a smile once. I was insulted at how dumb the studio writers must think we all are.
I felt angry, cheated, and generally miserable by the time the movie was half-way over. I thought the first MIB was bad, but not as catastrophic as Independence Day. This installment was made even worse due to its incessant product placement. I stopped counting at around a dozen blatant product ads. I usually can at least find solace in looking forward for a film to end, but with MIB II the anger wouldn't subside. I waited for something, anything, to peak my interest or draw me into the story but nada, zip. 0.5/10