MIB by numbers

Rating: 5/10 (20 February 2003)

Funnily enough MIBII wasn't the crap-o-rama I was expecting. It sure isn't going to win any oscars, but it isn't as bad as its made out to be.
There are a few decent gags in here. A few made me laugh out loud. They were usually the more understated ones as the big, obvious ones were a big lame (the michael jackson bit was a arse clenchingly unfunny).

The plot concerns some bad alien looking for something that was supposed to do something, which the MIB were supposed to have got rid of but never did. Ho hum. And the only way to do it is to rescue the 'buddy' formula that worked so well in the first film and ditch Linda Fiorentino as J's partner. In the most hideous way. We sit there wondering what happened to her for like 20 odd minutes and all we get is 'you cant keep neuralizing your partners, J' 'She wanted to go back to the morgue'. A single line. Poor woman.
Speaking of poor women, J's new love interest, who may or may not be K's daughter, he doesn't seem to really give a crap, is in the film for a grand total of about 2 minutes. And she is the pivotal plot device.

Anyway, K makes a return at about the 40 odd minute mark which gives him about another 40 mins to get his thang back. This means TLJ's glowering and scowling like he just sniffed a turd for about 35 mins, before he mellows at the ending. He just does nothing. He spends 20 minutes claiming he isn't an MIB and then another 20 being boring. He seems to substitute deadpan for morose (acting like you do when you are a kid and forced to visit your gran) losing all the spark he and Will Smith had in the original. Speaking of Will Smith his character goes from Ultimate bad ass MIB agent to Ultimate Jackass MIB agent when K shows up, just to get the 'rookie' thing going. Which is anoying.
All the ingredients are there from the original, but just don't click. There are too many plot holes, too much contradiction and not enough characterisation. Its like how George Lucas has forgotten what made star wars so good, Sonnenfield seems to have stuck to the blueprint but gone wrong somehow. Maybe it would have been better if he wasn't so fervent about his magic '90 minute mark' for films. If we had an extra 15 odd minutes it could have been so much different. Maybe he would have had time for a decent ending...
Actually, reading back, I enjoyed this less than I thought I did. How strange.