WORTHY CARBON COPY OF THE ORIGINAL

Rating: 7/10 (24 July 2002)

I admit it. I am to blame for films like this getting made. But I will not share this burden alone. Every single human being who rushed out and bought a ticket to MIB II on July 3, 2002 must hang their heads in shame with me. We are the reason why Hollywood has become intellectually bankrupt.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed the film. In fact, I really enjoyed the film. Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are brilliant comedic actors. Ditto for the supporting cast. Rip Torn, Patrick Warburton, Tony Shalhoub, and David Cross are talented enough to carry the film themselves.
The set design is spectacular. Who wouldn't love going to work each day at the MIB headquarters? Rick Baker's special effects make-up is amazing enough to convince me that aliens actually do exist. He should clear some space on his mantle for yet another Academy Award.
On the surface, this film is perfect. It's a classic. So, what is my problem with the film? Well, if you examine both the original MIB and this flick closely, you will discover that they are pretty much identical.

It appears that the producers for MIB II took some white out and went to town with the script for the original film. They just took the same situations from the first one and switched the characters around. Will Smith's Agent J is now the burnt out veteran Tommy Lee Jones' Agent K was in the original, while Jones has now assumed the role of the astonished rookie. This is not character growth. This is laziness on the part the screenwriter. The locales are similar. The villain has changed, but has the same modus operadi and objective of the first MIB's evil doer. The beginning, the middle, the climax, and the end of MIB II are also astonishingly similar to its predecessor.
I can just imagine the conversation that the people behind this blockbuster had before it was green-lit. It probably went something like this . ..
Executive #1: "O.K. people, MIB made all of us richer than Paul McCartney. Where do we go from here?"
Executive #1's assistant: "Well, you could try something new and original."
Executive #1: "Go get me some coffee and then clean out your cubicle. You're fired."
Executive #2: "Ding! Ding! I have an idea! Let's make MIB II!"
Executive #1: "Brilliant! Who can we get to write the screenplay?"
Executive #3: "How about Shane Black? He wrote `Lethal Weapon 1 and 2'."
Executive #2: "No can do. He pretty much retired after writing `The Long Kiss Goodnight.' Now he spends most of his time on a bed of money, surrounded by a lot of beautiful women."
Executive #3: "How about Ehren Kruger?"
Executive #2: "Nope. I have him writing an update of `The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' for today's generation. We're going for a PG-13 rating."
Executive #1: "Wait! I think my assistant has the script of the original MIB saved on her computer in Microsoft Word format! We can just switch the names around and we'll have an entirely new movie! The audience won't care!"
Executive #2: "Score! After the money rolls in, I'll finally be able to buy France!"
Executive #3: "Um, didn't you just fire your assistant?"
Executive #1: "Hmm, you're right. I'll talk to my ten-year-old son. He should be able to churn out a script for us by Monday."

We caused this, people! If we keep forking over our hard-earned cash to view more of the same, the studios will never give us anything fresh and original. I love these characters and I wish to see their adventures continue. All I ask is that the screenwriters of the inevitable MIB III come up with something new. Perhaps J and K can travel to another world in defense of Earth. Maybe the film can open with the MIB's attempting take back control of our planet after a devastating full-scale alien invasion. I don't know. Just give me something, anything, other than the same old ideas.
Otherwise, I will probably just sell out, again, and pay $10.00 bucks to see same film, only with a Roman numeral three at the end of the title. Oh, the shame.