Actually made me sad...

Rating: 1/10 (18 June 2003)

Yes, watching this movie did indeed make me sad. Though not because of anything plot-related in this stinking garbage bag of a movie : while the original MIB was camp and entertainingly silly, this movie was so abysmally bad that I was actually depressed after watching it, primarily due to the contemplation that I actually spent money on it. I have seen some stinker sequels in my time, ones that even bypass this movie on the Shame-o-meter, but this one certainly ranks high on the awful level. First off, let's start with Will Smith and how he appears throughout the whole movie like he couldn't even care less about reprising this role. It's like being led by a tour guide through a skull-numbingly boring museum exhibit, with Agent J walking us through the motions of just getting through the movie and getting the experience over with. Tommy Lee Jones shows up, and the producers actually expect us to find some form of amusement or lighthearted surprise that the tables have turned and Smith is now the alien-expert. Whoopie. None of the characters have any appeal whatsoever, none of the alien ideas are innovative or interesting, and experienced actors Smith and Jones look like they'd rather be having reconstructive dental surgery than be in this bomb. The plot is a mish-mash of last-second ideas with a lot of sudden "Oh, by the way, this is happening now"'s thrown in, all the while leaving us to scratch our heads or wonder if there was some advance reading we should have done before seeing it. And why the director thought it would be a good idea to focus on the alien sub-characters from the last movie so deeply I have no idea : JarJar proved that less is better, so the worms and the dog could have given us the same courtesy. Lastly, I know many people think it's funny for some odd and inexplicable reason, but I can only tolerate so much defamation against African-Americans before getting sick, even if it's coming from Will Smith himself : why does Hollywood think it's acceptable to make anti-black jokes? Does Mr. Smith really think it's a good idea to promote the stereotype that blacks are criminals or car thieves? Is he such a desperate sellout? As you can see, I have many, many reasons to feel sad after watching this pathetic film, and if you see it you will too.