You Knew There Had to be a Sequel: Here It Is

Rating: 5/10 (31 August 2006)

What you got with Men in Black, you get again with Men in Black 2. Jones and Smith saving the universe. And we get plenty of wasted time, because before anyone can be saved Jones must retrieve his lost memory. So, that's fun.
We have the same cast, only now with more bad actors added to the good. Lara Flynn Boyle, who has never done anything remarkable since "Twin Peaks". Patrick Warburton, who thankfully has a small role because he's worthless outside of "Seinfeld". Johnny Knoxville? What has he done for me lately? David Cross returns, this time playing a geeky video store employee with a co-worker who looks a lot like Natalie Portman. I don't mean to ruin it for you, but it's not Portman: it's some unknown named Colombe Jacobsen-Derstine. But she was just as hot, so I guess it doesn't make a difference.
Rosario Dawson was great, she was much better here than in "Rent" or "Clerks II". Her character is similar to the opera singer character from "The 5th Element", in a round about way. (Well, it makes sense once you've seen the movie.) Her role in the grand scheme of things is very interesting (a much better backstory than the weak first movie).
I hated the talking dog (Frank). The animation of him talking was urine-poor, and there was absolutely no need for him to sing "Who Let the Dogs Out". Most of this country has already forgotten the Baha Men, thank goodness.
I thought the product placement was bad in the first film. It's ten times worse here: Sprint, Burger King, Mountain Dew, Marlboro, Bowflex, and Twister. And I felt like the film was a subtle advertisement for "I, Robot" with Will Smith fighting robots and aliens... even the directing looked the same (but I'm pretty sure it's not).
At least one good thing came from this film: the terms "old and busted" versus "the new hotness". Hurrah. Does this make you want to see the film? Then see it. But you're not missing out if you rent "Willow" instead so you can spend more time with your kids.