blah blah, what a load of ****

Rating: 2/10 (30 July 2002)

Review: Now I have seen some absolute tripe come out over the past 3 years from Hollywood, this one takes the cake. For some unknown reason other than money they decided to make this abomination of a film, whoops maybe it was for the cash?
The first movie has some funny parts, one being the whole concept of a secret service that control's alien activity on earth. Now if they were for some reason thinking that this would be a point or a launching pad for gags they were clearly delusional A talking dog? We saw him in the first, and have seen talking animals to the point of if you heard one in the street you wouldn't think twice and move on. Granted the dog 'Frank' was funny for about 1 minute, but the next 87 minutes of the film would have been better off without it.
Onto Will Smith, the main man, just one of whom should carry the blame for this film. Just when people thought he was getting serious as an actor, and getting some respect (not to mention an Academy Award Nomination for Best Actor) he pulls out his blandest performance ever. Having to read out some of the worst jokes I have ever heard should have been torture, but he seemed to be enjoying his role. Maybe he should stay in teenage comedy land for a bit longer.
People over at ILM must have been punching themselves having to view footage from this all day long while working on mediocre effects. There was much talk about this giant worm creature, quite frankly it looked like crap, literately.
And how many establishing shots did we need for MIB headquarters? I had counted 6 times after realising that they had used the same identical shot twice already. Obviously the black Mercedes Benz was an awesome vehicle, but how much were they paying Sony for product placement, half a million, 1 million per placement, it felt like I was watching a commercial.
To take in this Goliath of a mistake you have to step back and look at its Box Office dominance over the past couple of weeks, astounding. How is it possible that word of mouth didn't kick it in the but I don't know. It is quite beyond comprehension.
Final comments: This is the worst film I have seen over the past 2 years! I'm quite astonished that Spielberg kept his name in the credits. Do not believe the good reviews of this film, it is not worth your money. The 88 minutes I was in there it felt like I'd just watched Lord of the Rings back to back. That's it. Tommy Lee Jones I have nothing to say other than give up comedy!