A rushed, under-written, patronizing cash-in, "Men in Black II" is an ugly, hasty continuation with almost none of the first film's creativity.

Rating: 4/10 (3 December 2013)

Sequels. Sometimes they're good. Sometimes they will take an original and build off of its foundation, expanding the story and further developing the characters. Sometimes they will take us to new places, and explore new themes. Show us a world beyond the confines of the original. Prove to us that they are necessary to tell an on-going story with the characters we loved so much in the first film. Sometimes they are worth it.
Yeah, and sometimes, they are lazy. Sometimes they're astonishingly under-written and over-reliant on clichés and other cheap storytelling tactics. Sometimes they feel soulless and patronizing to the audience. Sometimes they show themselves to be the unneeded cash-in's that they sometimes are.
I think you can tell which of those two categories this sequel falls into. (Hint, it sure ain't the first!)
"Men in Black II" is one of the more disappointing follow-ups to an outstanding original film that I've ever seen. While the creative team of Barry Sonnenfeld directing with Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones starring returns, that lightning-in-a-bottle tragically isn't able to be re-captured here. Instead, we are treated to 89 minutes of contrived nonsense and an endless parade of references to the original film, in a sequel that truly feels written by committee in a studio-executive's office in order to be as unoffensive and broad as possible.
Smith returns as Agent J. While investigating an alien murder in New York City, J comes to realize that the perpetrator in this case (plant- creature Serleena, portrayed by Lara Flynn Boyle in an over-sexualized performance) has ties to his former partner, "Agent K." (Tommy Lee Jones) J is forced to bring K out of retirement and undo the process that wiped his memories, before they re- team to scour the city searching for clues to stop Serleena's dastardly plans.
On paper that may not sound too bad, but in execution, it's pretty dreadful.
The acting is far more mixed in this film. Smith is decent as J, but he feels very flat and forced in comparison to the original film. Like his heart isn't quite in it. The same goes for Jones, who barely seems to be putting effort in. Lara Flynn Boyle is very underwhelming as our villain, and the fact that she's always over-sexualized (introduced to us in a scene that includes a closeup of her rear-end as she walks around in high heels and lingerie) does make the entire film feel sort of misogynistic. Supporting roles by Rosario Dawson, Rip Torn and Johnny Knoxville are generally decent, but the lack of development does harm everyone.
The direction is also a lot more sedated this time around. Sonnenfeld doesn't seem to be having as much fun behind the camera, and the script by Robert Gordon and Barry Fanaro (and probably a team of uncredited ghost-writers and script-doctors to dumb it down for the studio) is far too safe in terms of keeping the development limited and the storytelling far too over-easy to grasp. This is far too simplistic a film for it's own good- it's just J and K driving around, stopping at a location for an action set-piece and a 30 second vignette to further the story... repeated over and over again.
There's also a far bigger reliant on effects this time around, it seems, which hurts the film quite a bit. Although I will admit that the visual effects and creature design by Rick Baker are well-done.
And the big problem is the lack of development for any characters, and the fact that the film over-simplifies and regresses many of them. Agent J is made into an oafish jerk by the script (we find out he's been neauralyzing MIB agents at random, and he seems very closed and cold to his colleagues) and K's back-story and return is very poorly thrown together. He's just sort of a nasty grumpy guy in this film, and the duo's back-and-forth feels more contrived and mean-spirited. New characters are given no development beyond one-dimensional character quirks, so you don't care about anyone.
There really isn't too much else to say about this film. It's far from the worst sequel I've seen, but it's still a radically disappointing follow up to the excellent original. The only silver linings here are the fact that it was able to re-introduce Agent K (though poorly) and the fact that the third film, released 10 years later, was actually pretty darned good and made up for this severe misstep.
As it stands, "Men in Black II" gets and underwhelming 4 out of 10. If you're a fan of the first film, sure... give it a shot. But don't expect much of anything.