Slightly disturbing, but still thoroughly enjoyable

Rating: Null/10 (26 November 2006)

Darren "The Human Beat Box" Robinson Mark "Prince Markie Dee" Morales Damon "Kool Rock-ski" Wimbley Peter North This is one of those new convenient direct-to-video sequels that I've discovered in the days since I stopped going to the theater. I always feel guilty going these days because the rude theater owners keep the film running even when the other patrons are getting important cell phone calls. It could be an emergency! I spotted this one during a trip to the "Adult" video section, which I can only assume is reserved for films with complex themes only adults would understand (and even then only with hours of silent contemplation). I had high hopes. I had seen the first Men in Black, and I was impressed with the Fresh Prince's ability to act and maintain a wholesome, family-oriented comedic styling. But with his absence in the sequel, Men in Black II: Black in Men, one can really tell that the film suffered.
First of all, there are way too many sex scenes. After six or seven of them, the movie just gets redundant, and when I take the time out of my busy schedule to see a movie, I don't want to get bored in the first half hour. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't mind a sex scene being in a movie, as long as it progresses the plot and it is important to convey the true story or message of the movie. However, MIB just doesn't seem to follow those traditional rules. In the first ten minutes alone, there were 2 sex scenes and one strip-tease that had nothing to do with character development at all: Delivery Man: I have a package to deliver.
Agent K: Yeah, I bet you do. You can put it in the rear with the rest.
Delivery Man: Well, it's kind of big, so you'll have to sign for it.
Agent K: And where should I sign? Delivery Man: You can sign right here. . . *zzziiippp!* The total lack of female roles in the movie was also a bit disturbing. Though when you think about it, the movie is called Men in Black, I just feel that some of the roles, such as the French Maid, the Mother-In-Law, and the Dancing Queen could have been played by professional actresses rather than men dressed as women. But if it worked for Shakespeare, I guess it can work for director MIB 2 Marvin Lebinski (Kickboxing Cyborg 6, Schindler's List 3: Rise of the Vampires).
Luckily, the movie kept my attention by headlining the film with such great talent as 1980's rap stars The Fat Boys (stars of Disorderlies and Shaft: Interpret That as a Sex Reference Because this is a Porno), and Motley Crue drummer, Tommy Lee.
An imperfect film, but clearly a good, honest effort. I even wrote a letter to the studio and told everyone how much I admired their work. They clearly didn't have the budget of the first one yet managed to make a movie almost exactly as long as the original. There's this great thing the fattest rapper does whenever he sees an alien (they never show the aliens, I guess a budget thing) his eyes get real big and he goes running away, arms flapping screaming "Aaaaallllien!!! Aaaaaallllien!!!" He does this thirty or forty times and in fact these scenes make up the bulk of the cinematic narrative. There are also a series of very innovative scenes done entirely in an improvised, rhyming rap style:
Fat Boy 1: "I knew it! The damn President is from Venus!"
Fat Boy 2: "Yo, spew it! Let's cram peppermint between us!
Fat Boy 3: "Don't je w it! Ham is a resident of my penis!"
Tommy Lee: "Don't look at me, man. I don't even wanna fu ckin' be here."
And so on, the rhyming sort of petering out until they all stand around in silence and eventually wander off the set. Some will criticize but try making a movie yourself! It's hard! So a few flaws, but definitely worth the buck rental price.
I give it two smilies! :D :D