1)Old. 2)Tired. 3)Boring. (Pick any three)

Rating: 1/10 (26 May 2012)

Let me explain. No, there is too much, Let me sum up.
10 Will Smith shoots a bug.
20 SPLAT!!! (Somebody, probably Will, gets slimed)
30 Will Smith makes unfunny joke.
40 Partner K doesn't laugh.
50 Goto 10
Because, Will Smith.., covered in slime.., joking.., and K not laughing. Will Smith, slime, joke, not laughing, get it?
I'm pretty sure we get the not laughing part.
The audience I was with to watch the movie sounded as if they had been stunned with a cattle prod.
This seemed to go on for about 5 or 6 centuries, although I checked and the run time is only 103 minutes. So, I may have suffered a fatal brain aneurysm somewhere along the way.
This movie seemed to feel that world was clamoring for another go at the first MIB movie except with the all of the humorous bits removed or made so painfully self aware that you feel like gawkers at a comedy ten car crash scene.
We also got to again revisit the joke that every weird looking or weird acting person on the planet is a space alien. Because no matter how many thousands of times you do that joke, how could it ever NOT be funny? Am I right? Am I right? Am I right or am I right?
Will Smith has apparently decided that he is such a bouncing off the walls, superfly, laugh-a-minute, comedy machine, that what has been lacking in his movies is not enough boring, uptight, straight white men to fail to laugh at his jokes.
So both Josh Brolin and Tommy Lee Jones get to play the steely faced, no nonsense, all business partner people types who will play total non-reaction so well when Will lets his full wacky out of the cage.
We also get a love interest along the way. But it doesn't really matter who or when or where or why. Since the people and the plot points have become completely interchangeable and irrelevant at this point. The scenes play with all the raw animal magnetism of a flight attendant giving the seat belt lecture before takeoff.
I like Will Smith, I like Tommy Lee Jones. I like Josh Brolin and Emma Thompson, I do, I really do.
I enjoyed the first "Men in Black" movie quite a bit and while the second one was not good, the reviews seemed to indicate that they had gotten back on track here.
But the experience of watching this moving was like paying to watch oral surgery when there isn't enough knockout gas in the whole world to stop the pain.
Check please!