Men In Black 3 - An un-funny 1 hour and 46 minute joke

Rating: 2/10 (14 July 2012)

First of all, I want to thank the Danbarry Dollar Saver cinemas for showing this terrible film at a low price because had I paid full price for two tickets (one for me and one for my wife) I might have given up going to the movie theater altogether. So Danbarry, I thank you for keeping my cinema watching hobby alive!
It's not often my wife and I sit in a theater and consider leaving before the film is over. If I recall, we've only had this conversation twice during a movie (I can't remember the last movie because it was so long ago). This morning, however, it is clear as day to me this very real conversation my wife and I had last night while watching this film. She strongly recommended we leave so she can get to bed and get more sleep (in retrospect, this was the best course of action). I responded by saying that we should at least try and finish the movie in hopes that we'll find something about it that we like. 1 point for my wife: For those keeping score at home that's my wife 102, me 4. Her instincts are seemingly much better than my logic!
With that said, let me share why this film was so awful:
First of all, where is the unique writing that we saw from MiB 1 and some from MiB 2? The concept for this movie is interesting but the writing makes it flat and 1 dimensional. At some point, we lose interest in the concept and simply watch the characters (Smith and Brolin) go from point A to point B in a monotonous fashion. It's like the writers reached into a hat for plot moving sequences written on slips of paper making it rough on the viewer to not only understand what's going on (the "Griffin" character is completely frustrating and useless) but to really even care. The only time I became interested was the Cape Canaveral scene, but even in this climactic scene, it eventually falls flat.
Secondly, Will Smith isn't funny. His jokes are child-like knee slappers that, you guessed it, the kids in the movie theater found hilarious. To be fair, this is mostly due to the bad writing: Smith is supposed to throw out his usually funny contextually driven zingers and they normally come off as spot on comedy. In this film, however, because the writing is so bad, the jokes come off as flat and Smith kind of looks like a circus clown. How many adults out there find circus clowns comedic?
Third, the character development downright stinks. Boris, Griffin, young and old Agent O, and even Tommy Lee Jones character is awful. All of these characters are boring and one dimensional (like this film). Some of the aforementioned characters such as Agent O, Griffin, and the Andy Warhol character are pointless. I hate when films add pointless characters because anything they do doesn't contribute to the moving of the plot. Josh Brolin is the only one who has any real character development, but eventually, even he becomes useless to this film's pointless plot.
Now to be fair, this film would be pretty cool if you were a kid, which I"m not sure if that's who the film is directed to? It's confusing because you have child-like plot advancement with Will Smith punchlines laced throughout but inserted with adult contextual humor. It's really awkward. Children watching this film would love the action scenes and the one line zingers but would be confused about most other things in this movie (especially the 1969 references and others).
The film can best be described in this dialogue between Will Smith and some guy (I'd tell you his name but I forget and he's a worthless character anyway) who has the time control device. I'm paraphrasing almost all of this because I don't have enough respect for the film to find the actual lines nor do they even matter:
SOME GUY: I have the time control device but in order for us to use it, we have to get really high. SMITH: what? No! no way! SOME GUY: on the roof....it's called a time JUMP
audience reaction: *crickets