The USA: A Nation Of Aliens

Rating: 10/10 (18 September 2010)

When you enter the US from Europe you may hear first "How are you doing", usually pronounced in one word which makes it impossible to recognize its parts, the question spoken with the melody of a statement, and the continuous tense form being false, while the good and correct British "How do you do?" is practically out of use. Second, let's say, you need a coffee. You go to Starbucks and get one of these plastic cups carrying a paper Banderole where there stands in big letters: CAUTION! CONTAINS HOT LIQUID. When you visit the restroom, you find a tetrahedron-like warning shield placed on the obviously wet soil telling you: DANGER! WET FLOOR! Later, in the taxi, you read in the rear-view mirror: OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.
If you want or not: Coming from a land where neither the coffee-shops nor the cleaning company nor the car-producers are nursing you, you will ask yourself: What is this for a land where the self-evident things are told even to adults, things which are know already by children in the rest of the world? Obviously, you conclude, here there lives a species of beings that MUST be told that, since otherwise nobody would go through all the pain and costs for all those warnings. So, you ask one of the inhabitants of this country, and he tells you that recently a lung cancer patient who had smoked for forty years sued Philips, telling the court-house that this tobacco company did not warn him of the dangers of smoking - and won the process. At that point, as an educated European, you may ask yourself: Are these really humans that inhabit this gigantic country between Montana and Mississippi, California and New England, because both the stupidity of their behavior and the credulity of their court-houses seem to contradict strongly to that assumption. You may also get suspicious when you enter a store and ask a cashier, who is just busy to serve another customer, where the paper products are. Unlike in any other country, she will stay calm, put on her most agreeable smile, show you her Pepsodent teeth and direct you kindly to aisle number eleven. When you then look at the people in queue whose time you have stolen with your stupid question, you will encounter the same artificial and mechanical smile remembering you perhaps of E.T.A. Hoffmann's Olympia and the unhappy Professor Mosh Terpin who invented her. Now you count one and one together, since you feel strongly that you are on a hot trail. Perhaps you remember the people showing up in the famous old American movies of the 30ies or 40ies: Hardly any difference to Europeans (besides the language), educated, cultivated, polite but not automate with a mechanical make-up grinning. Then, the most horrible suspicion comes into your brain: WHAT HAPPENED OUT OF THE Americans OF THE 40IES? -. They are gone! Absolutely for sure the people who nowadays inhabit America are nothing but aliens, placed on both sides of the Apalachians after the original cultivated race has been high-jacked, leaving back a class of low lives who are behind the Central African states in the international PISA evaluation of the world-education, who clothe in jeans, sandals and speak as if they are born with a chewing gum in their mouth, who love to play war, do not speak one foreign language and not even their own in a proper way - and, consistently, as you now start to realize, have to be told that hot stuff can burn, mirrors distort distances, water on soil is slippery, in one word: that one first has to close a door before it can be shut. And then, after a long time, you find this marvelous film: MEN IN BLACK, the title purposely without significance, so that nobody gets suspicious of its content. After having watched this movie, you, who understands, recognize that the crew who made this movie is obviously the last rest of people who could rescue themselves when their relatives had been high-jacked and replaced by the aliens. Working in the underground, they used the genre of comedy, again, in order to avoid suspects, because the low lives' Gestapo is everywhere! Even worse: In the film they abuse the Mexican minority in the southern rim of the US for suspect of being aliens, for example in the famous truck-scene where the two MIB search the trunk and find these aliens disguised as Mexicans. So, the message of this movie is clear enough: The few Mexicans in the trunk are the real Americans, while the majority around, the alleged Americans, are the aliens. IF SOMEONE INVITES YOU TO THE US, STAY AWAY, RUN AWAY AND HIDE YOURSELF.