Maybe something's wrong with my VHS but I don't know, it also may be fine and the movie is just bad.

Rating: 9/10 (30 May 2016)

I'm not entirely sure, but the last time I checked, time goes forwards not backwards. This is what makes this film terrible. Christopher Nolan didn't have the foresight to edit this film in proper sequence, a rookie error.
I remember in my early days of directing, I would be sitting at my Moviola and all of a sudden, the film reel would spring off the spools and into my uncoordinated, meaty arms. Next thing I knew, I had miles upon miles of film pressing down hard upon my muscle-less body. I had stay there for 2 weeks before my mum found me.
In the following week, I spent the majority of my time straightening the now noodle like coagulation of film. I had already split the film up into the constituent scenes but there was no way of telling the order because during the one-man fracas, I had fallen inadvertently performed a flying triple axle dragon kick on my film projector crushing it immediately into a fine dust. Because of this, I had no other option but to just guess which scenes should go where.
After stitching all the scenes together at random I had myself a film. But what to call it? There were film festivals coming up and it had to have a name and without a linear structure, the name, 'I Stab Your Balls in a Chornological Progression Over The Course of Many Scenes From Multiple Perspectives', would make no sense whatsoever. I went to the desk of the festival, film reel tucked nicely into the warm embrace of my fanny pack and when the receptionist asked the name of my film, I had a stroke of genius. Rashomon! I'll call my film Rashomon! I had no idea what it meant but it sounded nice and that sure tickled my fanny. I submitted Rashomon (which has proved to have been my magnum opus ('magnum opus' in Latin meaning 'accidentally good film' (obviously))) and it won the Palme D'or. It was the greatest day of my life and the last time I shed a tear. That's right, I am legendary film director, Akira Kurosawa.
Unfortunately, as I sat in that cushy theatre in Cannes watching back my award winning film, I realised that I despised my creation. 'No film should ever be made like this ever again', I thought to myself as I hurriedly drew out a plan on the back of my hand. The plan was one sentence long and read simply: 'BURN THIS GARBAGE'. I slipped in to the projection booth, snapped the projectionist's neck and set the monstrosity ablaze. Sitting in that projection, heated by the warmth of a fire fuelled by a film that I despised, I sought to stop anyone from creating a non-chronological film in the future. Unfortunately, I died before Memento could come out so I could do nothing about it. My actions that day ended up claiming the lives of all of those viewing my film and inspiring the ending of Inglourious Basterds, whatever that is.
1/10 for the reasons I have laid out.