Four Writers? Four Writers!

Rating: 3/10 (19 August 2006)

And they couldn't get a script.
Where does one begin when describing this extraordinarily inept and overlong (3 Hours!) travesty of a film? First of all let me count the flaws.
1) **Spoiler** a man and a woman meet in a coffee shop (with great business of non-continuity with sugar and cream, first irritant, pay for a sober continuity person, movie-makers!)and they flirt and fall in love, Brad Pitt is delicious, anyone would fall in love with him. Then backward glances, never co-inciding as they walk away from each other, kersplash, poor old Brad buys it in a particularly outstanding road-kill by a truck. Bye Brad.
(2)Death emerges to confront Anthony Hopkins in the shape of a resurrected Brad, no scars from the dreadful accident. Anthony Hopkins is the father of the woman in the coffee shop. **end of spoiler**
(3)From here on in one has to deal with the most awful gaps in the scripts while people breathe and roll eyes. Claire Furlani takes the prize in this contest, anytime she is on screen she's rolling her eyes everywhere, up, down, sideways. Like she has dust in them.
(4) Joe Black, Mr Death must have had all 4 writers working on his dialogue because it is extraordinarily inconsistent. Sometimes he's all wise and all knowing, next thing he doesn't know the taste of peanut butter or how to kiss or even make sense with these profound new-agey pronouncements.
(5) What on earth does Claire (Susan)see in this shell of a man? he bears no resemblance to any conscious being and the lovemaking scene is so creepy, like Joe is making love to himself.
(6)Which leaves us with the rest of the cast. Anthony plays Anthony yet again, he's always enjoyable. Jeff Tambor and Marcia Gay Harden save the whole movie from itself.
Miscellaneous: The costs must have been astronomical, helicopters and estates and indoor swimming pools overlooking Manhattan skylines...and on. Great music, but 3 hours of my life were wasted. Now I'll go read the other reviews and see if anyone agrees with me. 3 out of 10 for Jeff and Marcia and the darling looks and suits of Brad. This is right up there with My 100 Worst of all Time films.