The Pitts

Rating: 3/10 (10 March 2000)

I guess this movie is for people who like to watch make-believe rich people and fantasize about how they must live. So by all means, cast it with pretty Brad Pitt, Claire Gooeylani and Anthony Hopkins, who has worked his way up from a butler in some other movie.
Hopkins, who probably couldn't screw up a role even if he tried, is the only character in the movie who doesn't come off making you crave sucking on toilet paper soaked in imitation maple syrup. Pitt plays the "Angel of Death" sorta... How clever to have the Grim Reaper act cuuuuute!
Oh, there's some sort of storyline, some kind of high-falutin' big deal message to the movie about (who would guess?) LOVE, and well, yawn. Claire What's-her-lani plays Hopkin's character's daughter who happens to be a doctor, and I guess it's supposed to be meaningful that a doctor falls in love with Mr. Death, although when I mentioned that to the people who watched the movie with me, they just laughed. Maybe the two have a love affair just so you can get all dewey and fuzzy watching such cute people mumble at each other and make cow eyes.
And I gotta hand it to them, 'cause it was one of the dewey and fuzziest fall-for-me scenes. Oooh, that ULTRA SOFT voice that Claire ???Lani has! I don't know, is that some kinda electronic effect that they use? She sounded like a persian kitten purring in a down sleeping bag on a hot summer day, and was about as easy to understand. Is that supposed to be sexy or something? Is that the way she really talks? With that pencil neck of hers, I'd expect more of a squeak. Shows what I know.
I recommend this movie for people locked into a trailer park lifestyle, to get some ideas going on how they're gonna spend their lottery winnings. Oh, those rich people are SOOOO fuzzy!