A very short review for a very long movie. A very long, awful movie.

Rating: 1/10 (10 March 2013)

It is not that we don't love long movies (we love many long movies)....or sensitive, deep movies (we love many such movies). But to combine length, with weak plots and leaky writing, with regrettable acting - well, that's a deal breaker. We love Howard's End, Remains of the Day, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Lost in Translation - but we absolutely hated this movie. The awkward, long pauses (when Pitt and Hopkins had that weird stare off going, I was praying for the Larry David Curb Your Enthusiasm type scenes with squinting and face making!)....bizarre face contortions (Claire, why?), and amazement at such nuggets as why Joe Black was ignorant of peanut butter (or, indeed, why he was eating at all!).....don't walk, run from this mess!