Unconvincing on every level

Rating: 2/10 (28 February 2006)

In this film Woody Allen does for present day London roughly what Dick van Dyke did for cockney chimney sweeps in Mary Poppins - that is, strike an almost unending series of false notes. Jonathan Rhys Myers plays Chris Wilton, a tennis pro whose every gesture suggests privilege; we are asked to believe he comes from a poor Irish background. The Hewitts, the family with whom he becomes involved, do not work as individuals, and do not work as a family. So many little things aren't right. Mrs H dresses like a woman a couple of social classes below her, for example. The portrayal of business life is also a travesty. Mr H has the general demeanour of an antiques dealer, but the plot has him run a string of companies (called Hewitt Inc, though of course British firms are plcs) where he has no problems installing his son-in-law and giving him the sort of car and chauffeur that would not normally go to anyone below board level in a FTSE-100 firm - if then. Daughter Chloe simply sets up an art gallery in one of the smartest parts of London - Emily Mortimer who plays her and comes from this sort of milieu really should have known better.
As for the plot, others have commented on its shortcomings. Still, however hard to believe, it did carry me through to the end. And some of the cast and settings were nice to look at, and the sound track wasn't unpleasant - though I couldn't really work out the justification for it. I can imagine at least two levels of awfulness worse than this, so I'll give it three out of ten. (Why, incidentally, is there no zero ranking?)