Oh Dear!!

Rating: 1/10 (19 January 2006)

Not really a Woody Allen fan but enjoyed Crimes & Misdemeanors/Annie Hall/Zelig and Bananas. This however is one of the worst films I've ever seen. Not a single redeeming feature save Matthew Goodes performance and Scarlett Johansson proving she can act.
Where to start. The acting was terrible. Shame on Brain Cox and Penelope Wliton for getting involved with this mess. Just what was going on at the casting office when they cast Jonathan Rhys Meyers, standing a skinny 5ft 8" and playing a former international tennis star????? The tennis scenes were laughable, he was playing a tennis coach. Oh Woody, woody. Is he a sociopath a la The talented Mr Ripley, all the aspirational stuff is there, art, Dostoevsky, opera, grouse shoots....etc...but the character/actor is so annoyingly wooden and devoid of any emotion he is totally unbelievable. The cardboard clichés the other actors inhabit was shocking, as were the London locations, all those Minis!!!!,......Woody Allen made Richard Curtis look like Fellini. Everything so terribly contrived I'm getting angry just remembering.
Also, when a shotgun goes off in an enclosed space, it is VERY, VERY loud, not only that, it went off twice without anyone batting an eyelid, in the flats or in the street.
The diary plot twist was a joke. Could have worked but only worked against the film with the omissions from it.
The fact everyone kept bumping into each other or spotting each other was plain annoying.
The one saving grace was Scarlett Johansson, the only one acting in this debacle....that said, Matthew Goode came across well.
Also, why did everyone keep referring to the crime as a 'drugs robbery' not once but all the time. Who says that. All too, too convenient. Lightweight shot for hitting clay pigeons wouldn't necessarily kill either....how could he be sure. The guy he bumped into after the shooting, a red herring woody, the girl at Nola's work, surely she'd have been interviewed and told the police where she was dashing off to and who to see.
Also, from 10 ft and with a big throw, how come the ring hit the embankment.
The s*x scene with the tie, comical in the extreme, haven't laughed so much since Damage with Jeremy Irons.
As we left the cinema a group of people mockingly asked for their money back.....boy if only we could!