Wooden Allen

Rating: 2/10 (12 January 2006)

Had the plot not got livelier in the last half hour, I would have given this 1/10. Seriously, it is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It's boring, pretentious, stilted and insanely implausible, with wooden acting and the worst dialogue this side of George Lucas (who at least has the excuse of making fantasy movies). Less than two hours after I left the cinema, I'm still wondering how the man who made one of my top 25 films  Sweet and Lowdown, in 1999  could have been responsible for this drivel. Woody, you have lost it, mate, and you clearly have no ear for how the British speak. So many unintentionally funny lines! "I grew up in Belgravia  maybe I could show you around London?" (Oh, and it borrows from Crimes and Misdemeanors, a film I would recommend without hesitation.)