Allen's Disaster Movie

Rating: 1/10 (28 December 2005)

The risks involved in writing films about a culture you do not live in or fully appreciate are all too evident in this movie. Allen clearly has no ear for English behaviour or speech rhythms, and his vision of middle class England is woefully off target. Worse, by giving his actors a dreary, predictable script he has made them all look third rate, which is unforgivable. The film lacks passion and structure and every painful step we have to take with this 'thriller' that neither thrills nor entertains is an insult to the British way of life and to our intelligence. For Golden Globes read The Emperor's New Clothes Awards, which should signal game, set and match for Allen's career, but will doubtless have an army of financiers clamouring along the baseline who are too in awe to realise that they are being hoodwinked by a man well past his prime. Neurosis, self-doubt and insecurity may be part of the tapestry of life in Manhatten, but they have no place among a society that plays to win with every swipe of the racket and accepts chance as a part of everyday life rather than a cheap manipulation in a film script.