Slow so slow and very, very boring!

Rating: 2/10 (17 June 2006)

It seems like (reading the other reviews) if your name is Woody Allen you could get away with everything!
Quick summary: Nothing happens the first hour.. Just a bunch of people talking about nothing, watching opera and attending to galleries.. The movie starts to build up a little bit when this mistress gets pregnant and desperate to get Chris to leave his wife. The rest is just stupid!
I mean: The cop had the complete solution of the crime coming to him before he fell a sleep: EUREKA!! Clever cop! (Chris killing the old lady and the mistress). Sorry Mac.. Chris stole a wedding ring from the old lady and fails to throw it in the river so it falls back on the ground.. An drug addicts finds it, attends to a shoot out and gets killed in the same neighborhood the old lady got killed in. The smart cop gets confronted with this. Case closed. Chris is off the hook!! Likely? NO!! ..
If it was just that the plot sucked major I might not bother to write this review but there is more:
The most of the characters are just so incredible uninteresting! I must admit that Scharlett Johansson did a nice performance.. But the rest of them...OH GOD HOW BORING!
The only person I got some emotions towards was Chloe. I was thinking during the movie: Hey man why don't you kill your nagging wife instead!! Chris?? Chriiiis? Where are you ?? Chriiiiiiiiss?? Whats that in your pocket?? Pills? What kind of pills?? Chriiiiss?? Are you taking a dump?? Chriiis? I guess that might be some relevance to the morale of the movie (read metaphor :)). But I Don't Care! It sucks!! Specially the main character! He is so boring that you might want to take his tennis racket and smack him hard in his face! He uses 5 seconds to respond to the simplest questions and his answers isn't to bright either..
There is probably hundreds of stupid metaphors in the flick, so you hopefully will give the film a thought after its finished. The metaphors gets pushed in your face like a baby being fed with a spoon!
If you like this movie you probably also would like to watch "Gone with the wind " three times in a row :)