Too Long In The Mid-day Sun.

Rating: 5/10 (21 October 2013)

Poor young tennis instructor falls for his client's girl friend, and who wouldn't? It's smoldering Scarlett Johansson from Boulder, Colorado, whose beauty is of such peculiarity that from some angles she looks like a creature recently emerged from the sea.
The attraction between Johansson and her swain, Mathew Goode, is understandable. Not only does Johansson look good but, as she remarks, "Nobody ever asked for their money back." However, her boyfriend, Goode, is a high-end British aristo, soon to be Lord of Cummerbund-and-Peplum or whatever it is. The family is ill disposed towards an aspiring American actress with only one commercial behind her and a distinct lack of interest from any casting directors. I mean, what is she going to do when her looks fade -- make him flapjacks for breakfast and prairie oysters for supper? Not that it matters much, because Johansson and Goode are soon quit of each other. The young tennis coach who had fallen for her and had a roll in the meadow with her now seeks her out again, although he himself is married to the high-end sister of his tennis client.
Are you following all this? I followed it but I had to organize as much concentration as I did when learning to solve quadratic equations. "Hannah and Her Sisters" was another pretzel of intrigue and crossed relationships, and so was "A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy." The story plays out as if it had been intended for New York City and wound up in Mayfair. It's still distinctly Woody Allen, with overlapping dialog, very little shouting -- and I don't know how many times one person says to another, "How ARE you?"
The score is distinctive. Scratchy-sounding arias. The production design is carefully done, lavish, and exquisitely photographed. London has not looked this CLEAN since Robert Mitchum strode through it in his Savile Row suits in the remake of "The Big Sleep."
As a writer, Allen sometimes can't help himself from insinuating jokes into dramatic situations but he manages to avoid it here. The problem is that it DOES drag on for a long time. It isn't funny and it's not gripping. In "Manhattan," I didn't care who wound up with whom but enjoyed the little gags, like Allan in a boat in Central Park trailing his hand through the water and coming up with a twisted clump of slime. No such jokes here.
I don't consider it one of Allen's better films. Others apparently don't agree.