Off With Everyone Involved's collective head

Rating: 1/10 (27 October 2006)

From the opening credits to the point where we walked out of the theatre, I sat in annoyed shock. I've only walked out of a movie once before and that was do to a health issue. This time, Cyn and I looked at each other at almost the same time and whispered "I'm ready to go, are you?" We gave the movie an hour and a half of our lives which, unfortunately, we will never get back. Is the movie gorgeous? YES. If your life is shoes, dresses, and eating dessert then this is your movie. . .please come claim it and take it home. There's so much "girly girl" sweetness in this movie that it'll make your pancreas lock up.
Actually, you'll think going into a diabetic coma is a good thing when you attempt to watch the movie.
The movie makers attempted to create the avant garde atmosphere created by using popular music mixed into the soundtrack a la "A Knight's Tale." They SO missed the mark. Just when I thought the dialogue was the lamest part of the movie, along comes a soundtrack that drives an audible spike into your head.
Don't get me wrong, the colors, mood and opulence of the period are well represented but when Kirsten Dunst's Antoinette says "Wow, I love that color" when handed some dress fabric (in one of the dozen or so dressing scenes), it kinda' kills any historical representation the movie might have had. Modern English, Olde English, and about six French words are all mixed into the script that has no plot nor makes any point other than Antoinette had more shoes than Imelda Marcos.
Discussing the movie over lunch, Cyn and I both agreed that the movie would have worked much better as a color silent movie with an orchestrated soundtrack of period music. In fact, if you go see the movie, fill your ipod with a 1780s soundtrack of Hayden's Paris Symphonies. . . or Mozart , since Antoinette was Austrian anyway. Listen to that instead.