REALLY BAD: serious decline in IQ points

Rating: 2/10 (2 January 2007)

Although I felt that Soffia Coppola was taking a very interesting angle with the way she filmed Marie Antoinette, I must however add that the movie just plainly SUCKED. Now, I'm usually an easy pleaser; I like all of those corny films that get Cs and Ds and usually just "go along with it" so to speak. However, the film was just terrible. For one, the directing was awful and the producing wasn't much better. One particular aspect that I loathed was the strange cutting of the camera from a certain angle to another without a transition. Now, I understand, that Coppola was attempting to display a more modern tweak to a more historical film angle. However, I believe that the strange filming deeply affected the connections between each scene to the other as crucial parts were omitted. For example, towards the beginning of the movie, as Marie Antoinette is looking out of her new French chamber window and sees the fountains in front of Versailles. However, instead of cutting to her face, to the fountains and back to her face, the camera just went from the face to the fountain and then to a dog. As a viewer, I would have liked to see something a little more personal, like Marie's reaction to the grandeur of her new home.
In addition, the music was also terrible. I understand that Coppola was trying to be all "edgy" and modern with all of her techniques but could she have chosen MUSIC? Because, the "music" in the film sounded a lot like my lovely, but terribly off key Aunt Eva when she sings Chinese opera in the shower. And let me tell you, Chinese opera consists of mostly nasal whistling and high pitched wailing; an accurate description for half the songs used in he film. For example, in one scene, Marie and some friends are in a carriage when a song begins to play. And good lord, what a song it was. The audience in the theater all began looking around at one another with a stark and obvious look of, are you kidding me? I mean if the singer could have their song used in a movie, then at this rate I'll be the president of Mexico (with my great and highly talented Spanish skillsburrito anyone?).
At long last I am done with what I consider a very thorough bashing of the film, Marie Antoinette. I part with you dear reader (Ms. Thompson?) with only a warningif you value your IQ points you'll walk away from the movie and go see something more intelligent. Like the crazy singing Asian on Youtube; hey, it'll only cost you 10 IQ points compared to a potential 30.
Busily chugging down a variety of vitamins and proteins in an effort to regain a record loss of 70 IQ points (the reliving of the horrors of this movie cost me some).
-Clover Chang Grade: F----------- (need I say more?) (This film's only saving grace may have been the use of the hot guy soldier Marie cheated on Louis withand Rose Brynejust because she is cool.)