I died a little inside

Rating: 1/10 (28 May 2007)

I have a pretty high tolerance for stupid movies. I can see when a movie's going to be completely devoid of meaning or intelligence, shrug, and decide to just go along with it and have fun--never mind the stupidity, ignorance is bliss after all.
This one looked very obviously stupid, but like maybe it would have some redeeming amusing frivolities or hijinks or SOMETHING to make it fun. No. I kept waiting, thinking that surely, it would pick up and stop sucking any minute now. No. It was pretty discouraging.
There is no plot. What's-her-face (now my most hated actress... I don't generally care one way or another about actors but having seen this I just really really hate her now and have no doubt that she has ruined every film she's ever acted in) acts like a moron, tries on shoes, drinks champagne and giggles at her advisers. Her husband won't sleep with her for a while. She shrugs and giggles some more and eats pastries. Then for some reason he finally sleeps with her, they have babies, and after some more giggling and swooning she rides off tragically into the sunset or something as the French populace thirsts for her blood. I think maybe one of her kids died but I was half-asleep and really didn't care. That's really it, there's NO PLOT, NO DIALOGUE, NOTHING BUT WHAT'S HER FACE GIGGLING AND SIGHING AND BEING STUPID. I really want those two hours of my life back.