Boring Antoinette

Rating: 4/10 (17 October 2006)

So, OK. Yesterday I had the great privilege of screening the press showing (attending the press screening?) of Marie Antoinette. First the good news: From what the Ole fashioned Wikipedia (as accurate as we assume it is) has shown me, it was pretty accurate historically. Though, possibly Kirsten "you got me thirstin' " Dunst is a little hotter than our heroine, Marie. It was pretty. Lots of pornographic (in the sense that they were indulgent) food shots and plenty of Parisian Haute Cotoure. The bad news? It was long and boring. Turns out Marie didn't do all that much besides gamble and spend money on clothes and apparently gardening. The movie rolls on and on without anything happening and I do mean anything, her young prince husband would not even bed her for several ( a couple?....who can remember) years. The movie finally begins to heat up when Marie takes a lover after the birth of her first daughter. There is some hot Man on Kirsten action that at first makes you not totally regret seeing the movie but then he runs back off to Sweden and that is that. The movie's biggest let down is in the end as it completely washes over Bastille day and the subsequent French Revolution, one of history's bloodiest revolutions but at least there was cheese. There is no trial or beheading. In fact, the movie ends with King and Queen riding off in a coach. Though wait., do i smell a sequel?