Dismal

Rating: 3/10 (2 March 2007)

Were it not for the superb scenes of Versailles this movie would be even more dismal. As it is, both Kirsten Dunst and Jason Schwartzman (and others) come off as flat as pancakes in delivery and characterization; it is not a deliberate characterization, perhaps meant to reflect the characters' alienation in the marriage bed, no, this kind of soulless, read-y delivery is just plain bad acting. Because so many elements in it are so disparate the film never seems to converge, but seems to be constantly trying to fly apart. It is not held together by any one thematic or cinematic element. The soundtrack is grating; it's not only what one wouldn't expect, it's an incongruous and anachronous assault, an attempt, it appears, to create a film hip enough to appeal to younger viewers with really short attention spans; it's not classic sturm und drang, rather it's clashing and uncomfortable. Visually, there are cutsie flip-cuts, stop-cuts, and short-shots. All combined, they're the ingredients that turn the film into nothing short of an expensive costume drama bereft of coherency. Dare I admit that I've seen better acting in L.A. garage porn? Forgive me, but skip this film. Cinematography, acting, soundtrack, characterizations, dialog, nothing can rescue this mishmash.