Horrible - makes no sense

Rating: 1/10 (23 March 2014)

This was one of those movies I thought, "oh boy" when I found out it was being made. I didn't go see it in theaters and one day I finally said, "Alright, let's do it..." Now before someone says I was already giving it a bad grade from the start, I did the same thing with all Harry Potter movies (literally after all were released I said on a Friday night, "K, let's do it." and was quite happy with the entire weekend spend on it). Such was not the case from this pile.
Within the first 10 minutes I was wondering what the hell was going on, what timeline I was in during the movie, and why Gladiator was doing what he was doing. I literally had to go to IMDb 10-15 minutes in to read the synopsis because I was clueless as to what I was watching. Was I watching Thor meets Chronicle of Riddick meets Clash of Titans? Whatever...
So some random planet launches some super kid to Earth. NOBODY outside of a random couple are aware of a spaceship coming into orbit and somehow those two move this giant machine into a cellar in a barn with nobody noticing. Wow. Why is this such a big point? Because the entire movie his 'dad' played by Tin Cup are telling him to not show off his powers and be as quiet as possible. This makes absolutely zero sense because he stops an oil rig from collapsing with his arms, destroys a semi truck with several giant trees/poles in a parking lot, among other things. But everyone forgets in stupid land, so why his dad is saying all this crap is beyond me.
Meanwhile, all this is happening while they keep switching between Superman acting like rogue (from x-men) trying to hide out and his kid life. So at this point I have ZERO idea of where I am timeline wise in the film. I was half expecting the directors to just all of the sudden have Superman as a 249,921 old man dying in his bed towards the end of the film. Would've made sense at that point.
Regardless, at some point Superman finds a ship that his parents (or someone) sent there, and we find out this ship has been in the ice for 18,000 years. Nevermind how someone trying to hide his identity with fake names gets to be part of a military operation investigating this ship. Either way, he gets in the ship and then his dad's conscience is talking to him? Wait, Superman was born like 30-40 years ago, so how could a ship crashed 18,000 years ago foresee this? Did I miss a crazy time warp somewhere in there? The only explanation is he grew at an incredibly slow rate or his travel to Earth took 18,000 years and he was comatose as a baby the entire ride.
Wait, if they shipped him to Earth, why couldn't the parents go again? If a giant ship crash landed on Earth 18,000 years ago, why couldn't the parents just be on that ship with the kid? Whatever, I finally turned this off 1/3 of the way through because I understood absolutely nothing that was going on in the film. When Tin Cup finally dies because he wants Superman not to expose himself I was just done. I did fastforward through some end parts and saw Superman throwing people through walls which could probably kill thousands yet whatever. The movie finally realizes this and has Superman stop some other dork trying to eye fry (lol) a family.... somehow holding this villain's head stops his eyes from simply LOOKING at the family.
Everything is so rushed in an attempt to create crazy FX scenes that you stop caring. 7.4? Are you out of your mind (referring to most of the public)? I guess all good movies take anymore is ridiculous $s thrown at big on screen 'asplosions' and FWAAAA moments.
Complete trash of a film.