Superbland

Rating: 3/10 (14 June 2013)

Faster than a speeding bullet You can say that again. When Henry Cavill's male model Superman blasts into the sky after having a brief conversation with someone on the ground – if you blink you might just miss him...
Beginning with the painful birth of Kal-El on the doomed planet Krypton, we're introduced to Superman's father, played by Russell Crowe, whose Jor-El has one goal: ensure his son is sent to a planet where he can do some good. He also holds the key that would ensure the survival of any other unborn Krypton children. Thus General Zod, played by a grimacing Michael Shannon, has a goal other than world domination. Unlike the cocky narcissist in the original films, this Zod is as bluntly patriotic as they come only he's working for his own destroyed planet against a living Earth's mankind.
Now we're skipping ahead, easy when reviewing a film that jumps all over the place. There are glimpsed flashes of Kal-El, who, raised by the Kansas farm Kent family and named Clark, holds back from beating bullies to a pulp. One of the more emotionally gripping scenes has Kevin Costner's Jonathan Kent risking his own life before his adopted son's eyes – holding firm that Clark must protect his identity at any cost. But with so many cuts to and from the past, we never get to know any character enough to make them really matter in the present. The backstory of Clark Kent basically plays out like a collection of well-shot movie trailers.
Amy Adams plays The Daily Planet's roving journalist Lois Lane with the robotic determination of a relentless workaholic. Too bad her chemistry with the blue collar Clark (a chiseled drifter similar to X-MEN's Wolverine) is beyond dull, each spouting dialogue like they're rehearsing lines in pre-production. At one point she almost tells Clark or rather, Kal-El what that "S" on his shirt could possibly stand for. That's right the name Superman might be too corny for today's hip generation: So perhaps it's a blessing she's interrupted by the invasion of Zod, who, with a fleet of ominous spaceships, noisily seeks Kal-El and one important device he's hiding – but where exactly?
It's really no spoiler to disclose that Superman saves the human race in MAN OF STEEL, but with a few prolonged action-packed fights against an ultimately pointless Zod, we only see the caped crusader defend a handful of military men in a bland looking desert. With an epic two-and-a-half hour runtime, not much ground is covered. And while the director (and producer) try hard to make this brooding reboot as serious as possible, there lacks the warmth and charm that would give Clark Kent the vulnerability for an audience to care about – or to share with his character's emotional range, as blandly one dimensional as the "We Got A Dire Situation" plot that could have featured any superhero Preferably someone willing to disclose his comic book name with pride...
Maybe next time.