Straight Up Terrible

Rating: 4/10 (20 December 2013)

How did this movie make $291,000,000? I now understand why I never heard anything about this film one way or the other because people either didn't see it or were so bored with this lackluster remake that they couldn't even be bothered to talk about it. Even the Brian Singer Superman was more entertaining and at least likable compared to this film. It might as well have not even been about Superman. This was just some lame executive decision requesting that Superman be more like "Dark Knight." Why? They are two completely different characters that are nothing alike. Zach Snyder and Christopher Nolan managed to take a story (the original Superman being one of my favorite films) and squeeze all of the excitement, tension, action, entertainment, and romance entirely out of the film.
I had a hard time getting into the film because I was utterly confused by the directorial and/or writing choices and choice of story telling. First you get a long, drawn out scene of Clark's parents and their planet which seemed to be the only real action of the film. This is a story about Superman so why are we spending the first 15 minutes involved in lives of people who are dead throughout the rest of the film? Then they skip straight to him being a 30-yr-old man and showing his childhood in oddly placed flashbacks. Telling story in this way through flashbacks is basic film school rule #1 no-no of poor and easy-way-out storytelling. And then all we do is follow Clark aimlessly around while he broods and Louis Lane snoops out a story...that she discovers immediately with little effort, and then is the hard-nosed reporter who then doesn't even want to tell the story 'cause she suddenly has a conscience, unlike the original Louis Lane. Basically, Superman goes around brooding and alienating himself and being super strong, and Louis Lane is just this weak, heartfelt woman. Really? What, are we back in the '50s? Which, none of her secrecy mattered because the big "twist" is that Zod somehow escapes the Phantom Zone and shows up to Earth demanding that the people of Earth surrender Superman...who they don't even know exists and he really hasn't even done anything at this point. Really? Your big moment is that Zod conveniently escapes and shows up in a ship (not as impressive as flying to Earth) and demands Superman just turn himself in? Snore. Who cares? I can't imagine anyone even cared about Superman or Louis Lane at this point since the film has done nothing but demonstrate that Clark broods and doesn't hit humans (though chooses to handle himself in a passive aggressive way rather than honorable way), and Louis is sort of a heartfelt dishtowel.
After Louis started plummeting to Earth, which, I suppose was supposed to be a recreation of her being in peril in the the original film where she gets buried alive in a car, I pretty much stopped caring about this film and turned it off. Superman barely knows Louis at this point so him saving her is no different than him doing his good deeds for every human throughout the film. One of the biggest parts of Clark Kent or Peter Parker is their undying love for a woman. Superman is not Batman or Wolverine. In the comics, films, and TV he lives for Lana or Louis. That's what drives him. Instead they just turned him into this hunky, flavorless character who was more like Captain America but without the charisma or patriotism.
This was to me like Ang Lee taking on The Hulk. Ang Lee is a great director but you don't take a character who says, "Hulk smash" and try to create art out of it. Not that Zach Snyder is a great director. I used to think he was but now I think he is following the path of M. Knight Shamalan and going from great to progressively sucking. And normally I think Zach is a great visual storyteller but even in this film his close up shots of random objects began to get really cliché.
This is by far the worst film of the Superman franchise (I didn't see #4 which I heard was awful, so, maybe it's a tie). I mean, even if #3 was cheeseball at least it had Richard Pryor which is more than I can say about this poorly trying to be poetic excuse for an empty, vapid film. Save yourself the trouble and just go watch any superhero film other than Daredevil or Ghost Rider and you might actually have a shot at enjoying yourself. Oh, and I'm only giving this a 4 'cause it was a great cast. It's not their fault that Zach and Christopher Nolan completely dropped the ball or just didn't give a word-I-can't-say-on-this-website.