Asgardian Review of "Man of Steel", with no spoilers:

Rating: Null/10 (15 June 2013)

VERILY, I DOTH SAY THEE THIS SUPERMAN MOVIE WAS YOUR BEST SUPERMAN MOVIE MADE SINCE THE GREAT BEGINNING OF THIS UNIVERSE, BUT THE BAR WAS SET SUPER LOW, NAY?
Twas most similar to your mortal hero of Midgard, the Manbats first movie, Batman Begins, which doth be both good and bad. First half of this story dragged ever-so-slightly, but tis the case of most superhero origin movies... except for THOR 1, where THOR was already a badass for hundreds of years and known throughout the Cosmos. all praise THOR, God of Thunder. Parts of the young alien Kal-el's story twas not Super necessary for the story, but twas well done nonetheless.
TO THEE I SAY NE'ER HATH I SEEN A SIGHT AS GLORIOUS AS THE FINAL HALF OF THIS STEEL-MAN'S STORY, AT LEAST NE'ER SINCE AVENGERS. The action was as good as Avengers, your Superman went full super-mode, as did his Villains, and was most Super to see on screen. Tis basically what all of the Nine Realms hath waited to see for as long as Superman has existed.
Parts felt as dark as Svartalfheim, the Dark Elve's homeworld, which twas odd for a story of this last son of Krypton.
TO ALL VILLAINS WHO WOULD NEGATIVELY REVIEW THIS MOVIE, I SAY THUSLY THOU WILL FACE THE FATE OF ALL VILLAINS WHO WOULD OPPOSE THIS SUPER MAN... OR THE GOD OF THUNDER, LORD OF LIGHTNING, MASTER OF THE STORMS, THE ODINSON, PRINCE OF ASGARD, THE MIGHTY THOR!
P.S. WHILE VILLAINS SHOULD NEVER BE TOLERATED, ZOD'S RIGHT HAND WOMAN, FAORA, WAS A BEAUTY OF NO EQUAL WHO I WOULD LET TOUCH MY HAMMER.