This film made Superman Returns look like a Masterpiece

Rating: 1/10 (22 June 2013)

Who the hell likes this movie, I mean seriously who? It has no heart it has no character and it has no soul. Let's start with the characters, from the way Henry Carvill acts it would seem any Male Model could have played the role of Superman. Countless reviewers have already mentioned the complete disregard this Superman has for innocent bystanders so lets not get into it here. Needless to say he comes across as a smug little douche bag for the entirety of the movie.
Lois Lane, Jesus, Amy Adams does her best I grant you but this isn't Lois Lane anymore than Carvill is Superman. Aside from some some magical ability to track down a chiselled jaw she meets once back to his home, depicted by a moronic montage of her amazing investigation skills. Talks to one guy we saw earlier in the movie the chiselled jaw saves, somehow gets from there to the other person the chiselled jaw saved and all of a sudden is knocking on the door to the Kents family home in a separate country to one she started in. Are people really this stupid, all you have to do is throw a few explosions in their face and they forget completely about such glaring plot holes.
Perry White, Jenny Olsen and that guy that was in Person of Interest. Why the hell are any of these people even in this movie? Was everyone so busy circle jerking on making White Black and Olsen a girl that they really forgot to give these characters any reason for existing?
Diane Lane and Kevin Costner. The Kents, the characters that imbue Clark with his morality. Well the only thing I got from these two is that Kevin Costner is really good at playing the role of Kevin Costner and Diane Lane still looks hot even when you artificially age her. In fact I'd like to think that Clark started looking at his mother in a whole new light once he found out he was adopted. That would certainly make a lot more sense for why he let the guy playing Kevin Costner die than the lame don't expose your powers in a god damn tornado where people can't see jack. In fact, do you remember how Kevin Costner died trying to save the family dog, did that act of self sacrifice even slightly occur to you when you were demolishing buildings full of innocent people you smug little tw*t.
The bad guys, Michael Shannon and the rest are probably the best part of this movie but this isn't because you understand their motivation or characters. No it's simply because as the bad guys it's easy to get away with being one dimensional. Enough has been written about the end scene between Superman and Zod by people far more eloquent for me to add to it here. Needless to say I get the impression everyone involved in the movie would say it was bold and I would describe it as sh*t.
And then we get to the final scene at the Daily Planet. And I have to say if anyone watched this and your mind didn't explode then kill yourself now, kill yourself now for the good of our own shared genetic code. A guy whose sum work experience to date appears to be working on a fishing boat and behind a bar gets a job as a reporter on one of the most prestigious newspapers in the country. And isn't this supposed to be a realistic portrayal, isn't this a dying industry but no apparently any old fisherman/waiter can get a job at the Daily Planet. And you know what's worse he doesn't even attempt to disguise himself, just shoves a pair of glasses on. In a building full of reporters who've been working on the biggest news story to ever happen and have no doubt been studying every single you tube clip of him since, and he just stands there head held high with a smallish pair of glasses on. All the bungling of the previous depictions having no doubt been used up in the making of the film itself.
All in all this film sucked balls, the dialogue was dreadful, the editing mental and the characterisations deranged. But hey if you like explosions you'll love it...