A Plot less, Gutless, Piece of Shameful Propaganda "Contains Spoilers"

Rating: 1/10 (14 July 2013)

Since no one seems to be giving this movie the review it deserves, I'm here to go to 'bat' for the best movie I've ever seen. I'd love to get an original copy of the script so I could read the dialogue over and over; as someone with a short attention span, four pages is perfect. And I like the intellectual thrill of reading "and then ___ punches ___ for the other 156 pages. The subtle political messages of this movie are so important for our generation, like the expenditure of finite natural resources and the fact that no matter how many little people get sacrificed in pursuit of a greater enemy such as General Zod, the fate of the world is better served without his overacting. I loved the emotional intensity when Clark turns to General Zod and says "You're a monster...I'm going to stop you." I also loved the last seventeen superhero movies that used the same line. As someone who was born in Kansas, it truly warmed the cockles of my heart to see it portrayed as such an upstanding paragon of American patriotism - that, and fat, small-minded ginger kids who victimize people until they realize the error of their ways and settle down to pathetic, menial jobs and eating at IHOP (and other people with bad teeth). The more important thing is that we saw KU playing ball. I felt like the moral dilemmas were so real, yet they are as timeless as Plato, which Clark so obviously read and understood when he exercised his godlike powers to level a city and kill thousands of innocent bystanders - clearly, that was the ideal form of the state that Plato envisaged, united under the martial rule of a tyrant in tights. At least he understood the chain of command, and got military authorization first. If my family member had been part of the collateral damage, it would alleviate my grief to know that a superior being had considered whether my loss was at least proportional, as I'm sure it comforts families in Pakistan. Superman has always been such a good guy; I like the change where he doesn't save people any more, it's so much cooler when he's a thug and extra-judicial assassin. And even though Lois and Clark only spent about fifteen minutes of the almost three hour movie on screen together, it in no way cooled the passion of their first-basing on top of the rubble and corpses of Metropolis. I was so glad that they disposed of conventional ideas of Superman, like narrative, foundation, motive, character development, and plot continuity. They really seemed to focus on realism - nothing so implausible as Kryptonite - just a codex that has the genetics of every future Kryptonian pre-programmed. But all that I've said falls woefully short of the grandeur of the actual film - the incoherence of this review cannot possibly outrival it.