Argh.

Rating: 1/10 (16 August 2008)

I really, really don't now what to say with this one. It's... just absolutely the opposite of a good film. Or a good musical. There is only one set of words to describe this film. *&^%# &%%^%%#$* (*&%#$@&. It's like watching a training video. "How NOT to Make A Musical". While watching it, I can imagine a Leonard Nimoy-type saying "People don't like excessive overacting." "Remember, even if your picture is a comedy, make the plot at least cohesive enough for escapism, if not intellectual thought". Well,now I'm going to run through what is wrong with this film. PLOT: The plot summary is this: three teenage girlfriends are going to some island in Greece so that one of them can marry her "LOOOOOVE". Along for the ride are an earlier generation that is exactly the same as the younger one- I mean EXACTLY. They even shriek the same way when they greet each other. But that's another story. The girl who's getting married wants her daddykins on the island for the wedding, but she doesn't know who dear daddy is because her mum slept with three different men. For the majority of the movie we see i'm-getting-married girl search for daddy and her mum and her girlfriends hang out to cheesy pop music. Near the end, we find out who's her daddy, she doesn't get married to her boyfriend because he doesn't want commitment,and for some totally unrealistic and unfunny reason everyone in the film is somehow in love with someone else in the film. this has no particular purpose apart from making a contrived "happy" ending or simply responding to the general stupidity, ridiculous optimism, and general love-themed ABBA music. Which brings me to the next thing- MUSIC: What would they pick for a musical? Now, I am slightly biased in this area because a can't lose myself or be serious about a movie in which the characters suddenly and for no apparent reason start singing. However, musicals done correctly- The sound of music, or the fiddler on the roof- I do enjoy. So trust me when I tell you that ABBA's records played in this film are absolute drivel. I was quite neutral about abba's music before seeing this movie, but now I feel like hanging every band member. The songs used in the movie, as i said, are ridiculous, insanely chirpy, cheesy, optimistic crap of the highest level. Add to the fact that one "ditty" is played every two minutes and you've got extremely annoying. So it's too stupid to be a drama. but the writing and jokes alternate between insanely obvious to unexpected but stupid, so it can't be a comedy either. The acting is either unbelievably overacted- for example, when the two sets of "girlfriends" shriek, screech, holler, and generally act as though they've just been transported to Alien- as a greeting. Yes, there are screechy groups of women, but this exaggeration is un-comparably out-of-whack. and then, it branches into monotone, as in the talking scenes, which shift to mentally disabled north-dakotans talking to each other (in other words, no emotion whatsoever). All in all, I would rather take arsenic pills than watch this film again, I hope you won't ever watch it. Please, spare yourself the horror.