I'm so happy.....

Rating: 1/10 (10 July 2010)

.....that my wife just borrowed the DVD from a neighbour for us to watch on a very wet winter evening, so we didn't spend a single cent on this utterly mind-numbing drivel. But for the fact that we had checked the running time in advance and seen that it was only about 100 minutes, I'd have totally lost the will to live, but I knew there would eventually be light at the end of the darkest of tunnels.
Like a lot of contributors here I love musicals, both on stage and screen. We sing in a choir and most of our really good numbers come from the musicals. I have also always liked ABBA music, I love the Greek Islands, and I saw the stage version 4 or 5 years back and greatly enjoyed it. D'ya get the picture? What I am saying here is that every single ingredient was there for me to have thoroughly enjoyed this, and I settled down on the sofa with my wife to watch it in eager anticipation of a real treat. Instead I got a real enema.
How could they have come up with such an absolute mess? Everything is wrong. Direction, screenplay, cinematography, casting, singing (could you call it that? Most of the neighbourhood cats started yowling in protest!), choreography, and the final insult - continuity, which was totally lacking with dozens of screaming goofs.
I ought to get off to bed, but I'm scared I will have nightmares that I am being hideously tortured by being tightly strapped to a huge heavy chair with my eyelids stitched open and forced to watch it right through over again. AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH!