cinematic pimping

Rating: 1/10 (19 January 2009)

To begin with, please understand that for this story to have any plausibility, the Meryl Streep character would have had to have slept with three guys all within about three days - either a guy a night or a four-way, or something like that. Pretty romantic, huh? But however good (or not) musically, certainly one major demographic of ABBA's original audience were those suburbanites and yuppies and former hippies who really did believe, at the time, that multiple partners were kind of romantic, and could enhance an "open relationship" with one's significant other: ABBA provided the soundtrack for many 'singles' bars' and 'swingers' parties. There are a lot of women of a certain age who really aren't quite certain who the fathers of their children are, thanks partly due to the thrilling sounds of ABBA.
I don't agree with the recent reviewer who referred to the older women of this film as "whores." Men and women have the same right to the sexual expression and enjoyment of their choosing. What does disturb me in this film is two fold - that it romanticizes choices such as these and that it insists that somehow they represent progress - all the Greek women in the background appear suddenly enlightened by experiencing the dysfunctional sit-com/soap-opera of the main characters' dilemma.
And wouldn't it have been a nice ironic tough if the way to discover 'real dad' would be to check to see who was spreading the STD around at the time? That would certainly have been worth a few laughs, and a nice new ABBA song, huh? "Now I've got sores everyplace/ my nose is dropping off my face/ Hernandoooo!" As for the young woman's response to the problem - who's the real father? - she expresses no real anger or angst or hurt or loss, just a childishly voyeuristic enjoyment of her mother's past adventures. She also doesn't know any science (and neither does the script-writer), since the simple answer to her basic question is really available through DNA cross-matching, which makes the whole story of the film pointless.
Given that this is a fantasy for older women, I suppose this would be forgivable - if it were a well-made fantasy - but it's not. It's gaudy, noisy, poorly designed, poorly photographed, poorly written, poorly directed, poorly acted, It is not even amusing in a 'bad but funny' sort of way. It is visually and aurally assaultive, and emotionally and intellectually insulting. I honestly cannot think of a worst movie experience I've ever had. Maybe the disgustingly sadistic Hershel Lewis film "10,000 Maniacs." But that film went on to develop a cult following, and this one has apparently made millions.
Well, that's showbiz - you want it to be an art, but it's only another form of prostitution. Maybe that recent reviewer was right - not about the characters but the cast and crew involved in this hideous con-job. Suckers, get in line - the Brooklyn Bridge goes up for sale next.