Stunningly bad

Rating: 2/10 (19 December 2008)

I will preface this by stating that I am a big fan of movie musicals, be they off-the-wall masterpieces such as 'Dancer in the Dark', top-end popcorn fare ('Hairspray') or Broadway adaptations ('Chicago', 'Evita' et al). So, no-one can accuse me of hating the genre, and blaming my negatives comments on that. Abba are the undisputed monarchs of modern pop, and I adore them. I wanted to adore this movie. I really did. I have to say, I found the stage version contrived and obvious, and didn't enjoy it at all. But I really did think that given the freedom of location shooting and a top-notch casting, this could be something special. How wrong I was.
The fact that this movie made so much money (highest grossing movie musical ever?!) and has a rating as high as 6.9 on IMDb astounds me. It is testament to the popularity - and brilliance - of Abba. It has to be. Because this movie is gobsmackingly bad. Just dreadful. I watched it at the theatre in disbelief. I recently rented it again, following its phenomenal success, just to be sure. Yeah  it sucks.
Blame the director. Not only is it full of ill-advised and badly timed farce, but it is shoddily choreographed and looks like it has been edited with a pair of children's scissors. This is a theater director who is making her first feature film, and boy does it show. Messy is not the word. Clichés work well on stage. They even work well on film, if they are used in context and with a knowing wink. But here... oh my God. I cringed through most of the movie, at the sheer depth of its amateur look and feel. The part where Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan are singing back to back with a wall in between them oh my God. Not a hint of irony. And so-obvious-it-could-be-film-school shot framing and camera 'trickery' beyond description.
The ONLY saving grace is the energy of the cast. Streep, Baranski, Walters and co. launch into this with so much gusto that they manage to make it not just bearable, but actually watchable. The female leads are a joy to watch, and the music itself means that I was certainly not bored. And when I found myself not being swept along by the music, it was fun to marvel at just how badly made a movie with this pedigree can be. And as for Pierce Brosnan. Sweet Jesus, NEVER let that man near a microphone again. EVER. I'm sure his performance was pitched as camp and hammy, but just comes off as amateur and embarrassing.
On the plus side there is one song/set piece that works beautifully  a lovely scene just before the wedding, with Meryl singing 'Slipping Through My fingers' as she helps her daughter get ready. Simple and affecting, it's what the rest of the movie should have been like. And (ironically) a deleted version of 'The Name of the Game' that has a similar feel. They deleted it presumably because it wasn't in keeping with the sheer crapness of the rest of the movie.
Make sure you have a few drinks first and prepare for what is quite possibly the most badly made big budget movie for quite some time  and you will probably enjoy it.