One of those half-mad stage ideas which makes for a predictably dreadful film...

Rating: 3/10 (24 January 2011)

'Perky' times two thousand... Ecstatic young woman on the Greek island of Kalokairi, living in the ramshackle hotel owned by her single mother, invites three strange men to her upcoming wedding--all of whom shared intimate nights with her mom some twenty years ago, resulting in her conception. So the big question is: which of the trio is the girl's biological father? And when will the prospective bride admit she stole her mother's diary and invited these lackluster would-be dads without mamma's permission? Unctuous, fatuous movie-adaptation of the international stage musical, which utilizes pop songs from the oeuvre of Swedish super-group ABBA to create its reedy-thin 'plot'. ABBA truly did record some beautifully-crafted, catchy and imaginative hits in the late-'70s, but the music as rendered here seems plastic and useless. Meryl Streep, with no character to play, hams it up; she's so professional and refined a presence that this not-inexplicably goofy approach just manages to squeak by, however her co-stars aren't so fortunate. As Streep's daughter, Amanda Seyfried bops around like a squealing teenager in a toothpaste commercial; by the time she and her fiancé are crawling towards each other on the beach singing "Lay All Your Love On Me", one is apt to make a mad dash for the exit. The picture is lousy, but it isn't offensive--it's far too innocuous and eager-to-please to be a complete debacle. To get angry over a movie like this would be pointless--it would be like flogging a sponge. The bloated production feasts on glittering aerial shots of the Greek isle, while the cast is continually directed to leap from boats and foot-bridges into the water. At least they don't sing underwater! *1/2 from ****