Do not take a chance on this one!

Rating: 1/10 (22 November 2009)

ABBA, Abbacadraba, I want to reach out and grab you! Why? In vengeance for the cinematic torture you put me through in experiencing the film adaption of the ABBA inspired musical "Mamma Mia". This asinine film stars Meryl Streep as Donna Sheridan, a rundown Greek hotel owner whose daughter Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) is planning her upcoming nuptials in the Greek island. The primary "Who is my real Pappa?" premise of this film is that Sophie was never informed by Mamadonna who her real father is, even though there are three main candidates who Mamadonna went over the sexual borderline with twenty years ago. Sophie's choice then is to invite all three to the wedding so she can finally have "faith" to know the "father figure" truth. These Sophie Daddy nominees are the "I still love Donna even though I dumped her after I did her" Sam, the former hippie but now stable banker Harry, and the free spirit boat-aficionado Bill. Along for the wedding ride are also Donna's best friends: the lunatic Rosie, and the middle-aged lush Tanya. Throughout all this "Who is your daddy?" humdrum plot there are spurts of these characters singing away to ABBA tunes. All I can say is, to quote a classic ABBA hit- "Gimme Gimme Gimme" less of these ridiculous musical scenes; even though Meryl Streep's pipes were not as bad as I thought coming from a seasoned actress. I cannot say the same for The Three Dads who were Pierce Brosnan as Sam, Colin Firth as Harry, and Stellan Skarsgard as Bill. Brosnan was the main singing daddy here and his musical voice was undoubtedly both shaken & stirred. Let's just say that Brosnan's singing was "The Matador" to my ears. The ensemble acting of "Mamma Mia" was appalling but the "main weapons of acting destruction" were found in the performances of Julie Walters as Rosie and Christine Baranski as Tanya. Catherine Johnson's screenplay of "Mamma Mia" was dreary & wearisome, and Phyllida Lloyd's direction was as clumsy as direction can get. Harris Zambarloukos' unauthentic cinematography seemed like he used a Greece Photoshop software program for the film's look. So to cap this monstrosity of a film in musical fashion, I will use an ABBA tune: Do not "take a chance" on the musical horror of "Mamma Mia". *Failure