Just plain awful

Rating: 1/10 (2 February 2013)

If I had to summarize the review of this film into just two words, those words would have to be, "Gawd Awful" or "Pure Stupidity"; both statements equally and eloquently captivate the essence of unbelievable stench that this film exudes. Written and Directed by Andres Muschiette, it's actually quite comical to count how many times both he as his wife Barbara's names appear on the screen during the film's opening credits. Rated PG13, this film is further justification as to why you should not bother seeing horror movies geared toward younger tween audiences.
The film centers around two sisters, Victoria and Lilly. After their father shoots and kills his business partner and their mother, he flees the scene of the crime with the two siblings in tow. High speeds and icy roads lead to an auto accident in the middle of nowhere. This motley crew is able to find shelter in an abandon house in the middle of the woods; however, with no food or water, Jeffrey decides to shoot the siblings. Before Jeffrey can pull the trigger of his gun, an entity (Mama) sweeps into the house and whisks Jeffrey away to oblivion.
In the five years that follow, Jeffrey's brother Lucas is still seeking closure to the events which occurred has hired trackers to comb the surrounding woods in hopes of finding his lost brother and nieces. The trackers stumble upon the abandon cabin, where the two sisters (more animal than human) still reside. The authorities are notified, and after a lengthy child custody hearing the two siblings are placed with their Uncle Lucas, with visitation rights granted to his sister-in-law Jean, and child counseling sessions arranged with Dr. Dreyfuss. As you may assume with a film of this nature, the Mama entity is not eager to lose her two adopted children, and thus follows them to their new dwelling. Also the Mama entity is just a tad bit jealous, so in an act of rage she inadvertently throws Uncle Lucas down a flight of stairs putting him into a coma This action brings us to Lucas' wife, Annabel, played by Jessica Chastain. Receiving incredible accolades for her role in 'Zero Dark Thirty', I can only imagine the horrors that must have been racing through her mind when she heard the studio decided to move up the release timeline for this film to capitalize on all her new found fame.
Anyways, to make a long story short, it seems the Mama entity is destine to remain on Earth until it can right its wrong. In this particular instance, she is trying to find her lost baby. Forced to jump off a cliff with her child in her arms when she was alive, she was separated from her baby in the fall. If the movie would have followed the rules that it established, then the film may not have been better; however, it would have at least made sense. In the films climatic conclusion, where Mama entity and dead baby carcass are finally reunited, the heavens should have opened up, and the two should have ascended into eternal bliss but did this happen???? Oh no, that would have made complete and utter sense to this completely ridiculous film. Instead writer/director Muschietti decides that the Mama entity should leap off the cliff with her new improved living daughters.
This is definitely one of those films in which you have to ask yourself, "Well, what happened the following day?" In the span of twenty-four hours, Dr. Dreyfuss, sister-in-law Jean, and youngest sibling Lilly are all dead, only Lucas, Annabel, and Victoria know what happened and that a vengeful ghost was the culprit. So as they are explaining all this to the police, do you think that they would get prison or psycho-ward?
This is truly a horrendous film and a total waste of Hollywood resources. To even associate Guillermo del Toro's (Pan's Labyrinth) name to this project is insulting and misleading. I cannot recommend seeing this film. You would be best serviced to avoid seeing this film.
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