Mama Please Stop!

Rating: 1/10 (29 April 2015)

Mama (2013): Dir: Andres Muschietti / Cast: Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coaster-Waldau, Megan Charpentier, Isabelle Nelisse, Daniel Kash: This is a disgrace to horror films. Listening to two young girls go about whispering "mama" over and over is enough to make someone flop their head against a wall. It involves two girls who are discovered in a cabin after five years. Their father proved a moron on icy roads and crashed over an embankment then he takes the two girls to this cabin where he attempts to kill them and is vanquished by a smokey wicked witch of the west. They are found and sent to live with their uncle and his rock chick girlfriend. She is played by the talented Jessica Chastain in what is low grade material compared to her acclaim work in Zero Dark Thirty. It is established early that she doesn't want children so the screenplay knocks off the boyfriend when he sees black moths emerging from a wall. So it forces her into that clichéd pathetic "I suddenly like children" bullshit. Other than the special effects there is nothing to recommend here. We have a witch who can move about like a bad wig on the floor. Director Andres Muschietti seems to be unintentionally making a comedy. Chastain looks lovely in her rocker clothes but this is beneath her, and the wig is no help either. Nikolaj Coaster-Waldau spends most of the film in a hospital bed. We have idiots roaming about the woods at night, which is real swift. The youngest girl chows down everything from moths to hair like a human shock vac. With the most laughable witch ever conceived, this film becomes about as frightening as a Kool Aid commercial. Score: 1 / 10