Was this a comedy? "Snoozefest" is more like it

Rating: 5/10 (8 September 2002)

For years, I had heard about M*A*S*H, the movie. M*A*S*H, the series. How great they were. I knew Mad Magazine's parody by heart. I never watched the movie because, quite frankly, I could never find the place. Or the time.
I usually get a good idea about what movies are about while reading Mad. In this case, though, I couldn't make heads or tails out of the story. It was as if a different artist had written every panel, so the story was nothing more than an incoherent series of sketches. Pretty much like "Saturday Night Live": write a lot of sketches, get a one hour show, and hope that at least one is mildly funny.
This is what this M*I*S*H*M*A*S*H is all about. It has absolutely no plot whatsoever, it has no comedy value whatsoever, and only a couple (1? 2?) scenes will make you laugh. The rest of it feels like a neverending series of medical operations, weird announcements over the PA, and... well, that's pretty much it.
(Spoiler ahead) The storyline, if there is one, has something to do with a pair of surgeons arriving at the 4077 unit. Then they do some stuff completely unrelated to one another (one scene has them playing poker, the next scene has them playing golf, and nothing really important happens inbetween, before or afterwards), they hastily assemble a football team, they drink a lot, they treat some patients, have a good time, then they leave. That's it. Forget about the alleged horrors of war, the stress, the trauma - this is more as if there was a war without bullets being fought in a Club Med in South Florida. If you haven't seen the movie, I'm sorry I spoiled it for you. Actually, there's nothing to spoil - the movie is so completely lacking in plot, the characters so devoid of soul, I'm pretty sure you could spend 2 hours looking at grass grow and you'd be equally fulfilled.
(End of spoiler)
There's something about 70's comedies that's completely beyond me. Pre-70's comedies are usually fun. Pre-40's comedies are devoid of a plot, but are a complete laugh riot. 80's and beyond comedies are raunchier and funnier. 70's comedies (Animal House, M*A*S*H, Caddyshack) seem to be an uncohesive collection of unrelated activities, where it seems smoking a joint is the world's funniest joke.
No, I didn't like it. And I can't understand how it made the IMDB's top 250. It's a completely mediocre film with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.