Watch the trailer, not the movie

Rating: 1/10 (18 May 2006)

Thee are a couple of good one-liners in this movie--they are in the trailer, so you can save your $8. For the rest, it's one of the most irritatingly stupid films I've ever seen.
The basic problems are: 1) Really, really annoying main character. He gets punched around a good deal in the movie, but he's so snotty that I actually started rooting for the thugs to beat him up after about 20 minutes. The writer probably thought he was adorably brash, and I imagine a few 14-year-old girls will agree, since he does spend a lot of time wearing a towel.
2) Insulting the audience's intelligence. Many plot elements are predictable, but instead of supplying the viewer with just enough information to put things together, the movie provides extra hints, followed by tedious explanations from the characters, topped off with a replay of scenes from earlier in the movie, just in case you had nodded off for a critical scene. This is _The Usual Suspects_ remade for people with the attention span of Beavis and Butthead.
3) Completely depraved. The ending makes no sense from a human perspective; it only works if you think of characters as automata driven by cheesy genre conventions.