Isn't a five on a ten-scale the worst?

Rating: 5/10 (14 April 2006)

You are a 24 year old man and it's your birthday. You read about this movie called Lucky Number Slevin. People on IMDb either rave it or hate it. They call it the worst movie ever with inane writing and brilliant acting. They hate the director and love the director. They might be 12-year olds that enjoy violence or 40-year olds who love the idea of their own ideas. IMDb is the best place to go for insight into movies, the ten-scale rating gives you a hint to what a movie will be, the worst are the 6ers, but the 9ers are never good, due to the fanatics. The best can also be the 3s, but a 7.9 is almost always great.
That brings us to Lucky Number Slevin. I watched after reading about it, a first for me. It was actually on my birthday. It still is my birthday. It was not a bad movie. It was not a good movie. It's, for lack of a better word, "eeeaah" *palms moved in a clockwise and counterclockwise motion outwards at the time it is uttered*. The movie is clever, the actors are as big as they come. This could have been oceans eleven. It wasn't. The script is probably good enough and so is the directing. The problem is simply one thing.
It is not long enough for me to care. If the movie added 30 minutes to explain why I should care if this boss or that boss is a boss and why the other one is. Why do main bad guys have 5 minute screen time? It actually made me tune out in the end. I knew that a twist would inevitably come, and I don't care if it's predictable, it's always a nice little surprise with a twist. Always nice if they can truly surprise you, but you have to care first. I cared about Tyler Durden, the guy from seven, the same guy from Usual Suspects, etc. Please make me care.
That's all I ask of you. Other than that, good work. I love Bruce Willis. I love Josh Hartnett. Good job.