Unforgivably bad (much worse than Gigli)

Rating: 1/10 (17 December 2006)

I don't think it is possible to write a spoiler for this film, as that would imply that it was not already beyond repair. This is the only film I have ever paid to see that I could not watch to the end, because it made my flesh creep it is so bad.
Appalling. Dire. Useless.
There is one part, with Bruce Willis in, recounting a story, which is OK. Quite good actually. But enough balance - this film sucks SERIOUS RECTUM. All of the dialogue is knowing "banter" and "wordplay" that, rather than leaving me chuckling in Oscar Wilde-esquire irony, leaves me taking the DVD out of my player and doing something more pleasurable, like pulling out all my own fingernails.
This piece of crap makes "Batman and Robin" look acceptable. It makes "GIGLI" look reasonably good! I managed to sit through 75% of Gigli on TV, including the end, and I could only make it through 50% of this.
OK, if the director quit half-way through, and the second half was a musical, then I have seriously wronged this production, but I doubt it.
I didn't think you could assemble this much talent for a turkey quite this bad.
You can.