A big mess.

Rating: 3/10 (14 December 2019)

Lucky Number Slevin reminded me of how much worse are serious bad films than ironic bad films. It started off kinda ok, the dialogues are funny and awkward (in a good way, tho I'm not sure they are even intentionally awkward). But the second half of this film is truly one of the worst cinematographic experiences in my life, I swear to god. They made a huge (or so it seems at first) plot and all they do for like 30 minutes is explain the plot with the mouths of their characters. Not even kidding, and with that - the plot is also pretty predictable. This is like a new genre - kids detective movies. Stupid, corny, utterly boring.
I don't know why they had to get Bruce Willis for this. Bruce Willis (Mr. Goodkat or whatever) has the same scene over again in this film. The scene goes like this - something is happening and then he walks in very silently as some dramatic music starts to play. I swear to god that's almost all he does in this film. Like Bruce Willis is a genuinely good actor, he CAN ACT. It's beyond me why would they even have a character like Mr. GoOdKaT, who must be the most boring assassin in the history of cinematography.
Also the joke about black people and jews must be one of the worst things about this film. I'm not a social activist or a postcolonialist, but this film is very lazy with the stereotypes, it was genuine cringe during the scenes with Saul, Abe, Elvis and Sloe. Lucy Liu... I don't understand why this film needed a love storyline. How can you mess up a film so much?
I don't even want to know the background of this, I don't want to know who wrote this and who filmed this. This is like if David Fincher went insane and started filming with his toes.
Seriously, if you want something that's kinda like this but good - you should watch Se7en.
3/10. December 14, 2019.