One for the 'short bus'

Rating: 3/10 (11 July 2006)

Here we have a so-called thriller that tells us exactly what the conclusion will be in the first few minutes of the movie, and then painfully and tediously crawls to that conclusion as if some how we are supposed to be surprised.
Worse, near the end, the director forces us to sit through the longest and most unnecessary explanation scene any movie of this genre has ever had. In words of one syllable, spoken loudly and slowly, the director provides a denouement longer than the combined length of all such scenes found in the complete collection of Scooby Doo cartoons. However, unlike the kids cartoon, 'Slevin' offers no intrigue or unexpected twists.
Now, in the film 'Click', we know the very ending from early in the film as well, but that forms part of the purpose of the movie, because it is the journey that matters, and the lessons learnt by the 'hero' along the way. It is impossible to offer the same explanation for 'Slevin'.
Instead, 'Slevin' offers sets that are pretty at first, but soon become tedious through absolute repetition. 'Slevin' offers dialogue that seems passable at first as a (very) poor man's attempt at 'clever', but soon becomes extremely tedious through very mechanical over use. Worse, unlike 'revenge' movies of the 70's that would often use very similar plots, the body of the movie contains no gratuitous thriller action. Watching paint dry would give you more of a thrill.
To be honest, the beginning of the film convinced me that I was watching some kind of clever joke, with the transparent nature of the plot serving to set up the real story. I was left speechless by the end.
Willis, Freeman and Kingsley are every bit as bad as one might expect in this kind of production. Hartnett and Liu are pleasing eye candy, but nothing else. The minor characters are VERY minor characters, though a couple, Missick and Williamson, come closest to some 'Tarantino'-style fun. Beyond the sets, the film is 'amateur hour' to the max.
Will you like this movie? If 'Layer Cake' was a winner for you, go for it. If, on the other hand, 'Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang' floated your boat, stay well away. I rate this film 3 only because it was quite easy on the eye.