Lucky Number Stupid

Rating: 1/10 (23 November 2006)

Lucky Number Slevin was another nail in the coffin for my cinema going life. It was the last in a long list of 'whack' movies that i wasted my money on. Admittedly, i am very bad at choosing which movies to go and see, a trait i attribute to my eternal optimism ("Posioden? well, the original was a classic... so the remake must be good then...right? Wrong! Apparently i never learn) but i think its fair to expect that when u get a group of good actors together and a bunch of professional filmmakers and millions of dollars that they'd manage to make something at least a little bit good. But they consistently don't. Lucky Number Slevin is, i think, a classic case of style over content. The poster promised so much - slightly obscure title, Bruce with not 1 but 2 guns, all star cast. Actually, if the poster hadn't looked like so much fun maybe i wouldn't have been so disappointed that the film was so pointless - but it looked like it might be a cheeky little surprise of a movie that all these great actors signed onto because the script was just so gosh-darned good! And the annoying thing was that it kept threatening to suddenly make sense. When all was revealed - the moment we had all been inexpertly manipulated into waiting for - it was just so ridiculous that it was hard for me not to scream "What?!?!!!?! he was the son of the man who... and now you get revenge on... by waiting 20 years ....and killing the guy who ....to get to the bosses of ....whaaaa....?" just way too far fetched and stupid. its just stupid. the writer is stupid. the director is stupid. they are all stupid! except Lucy Liu. I think probably in her case her agent made her do it against her will and she kept trying to tell them where they were getting it wrong but nobody would listen! I know it wasn't your fault Lucy. The point at which i could take no more and walked out of the cinema? When - oh dear - she gets shot and - wait for it -it turns out she's wearing - did u guess yet? - a bullet proof vest! i felt i had to leave then on principal. i'm thinking of starting an Anti-Bullet Proof Vest Coalition and making a blacklist of movies where this happens and scribbling on the front of the DVD covers in the shops - Don't Worry - They're not really dead! they're wearing a bullet proof vest!
if you like this movie its because a)have a mental age of 14 and thought this one was really clever and twisty b)have recently woken up from a coma and are still in that 'everything is wonderful because i'm alive' phase c) are as stupid as they say you are. to all the people who gave this a high vote - Shame on you! because you're only encouraging them.