Horrible morals, terrible execution, misused cast

Rating: Null/10 (6 January 2018)

Love Actually is a collage of stories centering around people living their intertwining lives in the weeks leading up to Christmas. It's also something of a Who's Who of British acting at the time of its release. Almost every single British actor worth note is in this pile of droppings. Power of Christmas, I suppose, for I see no other reason for them to debase themselves like this.
So what exactly is wrong with this film?
Well, the few upsides first. It is a nice looking film. The locations are nice, the stories are varied, some even interesting, and it has that Yuletide feel to it. And the actors are talented. There are some truly nice scenes and good character moments. But that's because the actors are so good, not because the script is worth anything.
And the stories are terrible. Some are merely bland, like the one containing Bill Nighy and Gregor Fisher. Some are just wrong, but in a funny way, like the one with Kris Marshall. But the vast majority of them are more than a bit cringe-worthy. We have over-sexualized prepubescents, a best man wooing after the bride, an adulterer, an import bride and far far too many dudes lusting after women based solely on their looks. And this is supposed to be a Christmas movie about the concept of love. Give me a break!
The only decent story, where I actually bought the chemistry and thought it kind of sweet, was the one containing Martin Freeman and Joanna Page. And their characters are porn stunt doubles. That should tell you something about this film.