`Love Actually': The Boogie Nights Christmas Special We've All Been Waiting For?

Rating: Null/10 (3 November 2003)

`Love Actually' is a movie with an excellent cast and a dynamic basis for a story, but it doesn't seem to know if it's a soft-porn movie or the next box office hit (and maybe even a classic like It's Wonderful Life). The opening scene in the studio sort of sets a tone of a happy yet slightly cheeky movie. The wedding in the beginning had some clever and smart scenes with the couple (bride is Keira Knightley) and the groom's best friend throughout the film, but everything suddenly hits a thud though when Liam Neeson enters--if they cut out the first few boring scenes of Liam Neeson, everyone will get the point he's a single step father that misses his wife. The constant references to sex by him to his young stepson make him sound like a pervert. And it doesn't help that in one scene he has his big heavy legs over the boys lap on a couch. After, you get past the boring scenes with him, that barely make sense, then you have to cope with graphic images of this porn couple, that get worse and worse each time the film cuts in.

Simply put, porno Pete and Pat have absolutely nothing to do with any of the characters in the story or the story itself. Its bizarre and it really cuts down on screen time of the other main characters that are more interesting. We can now say `good bye' to continuity here. Along with that, there's frequent gigantic butt art that shows up in the film that does a good job of overshadowing the characters performing the story, because it's such a distraction. What were they talking about?
----Minor Spoiler Below---- Then there's a lady who's in love with some guy named Karl at the office, who is shocked that he wants to sleep with her. That's laughable. The bedroom scene is drawn out and boring. The lady's brother could be a very cool situation of `love actually,' if the guy didn't try to strike her while she was visiting him. Why are we supposed to feel empathy for him? The rock star (Bill Nighy) is dynamic and funny, but the movie makers ought to give the audience something more than the star stripping naked when he finally makes it. Alluding to it with a brief shot of him removing his shirt would have been sufficient. There is also another really unnecessary scene earlier in the film where for some reason he strips down and thrusts himself in the face of brit tv talk show host Michael Parkinson.

There are lots of kids in the movie, the previews look good, so kids will want to go and parents will want to take them, but they'll be disappointed because it's not that kind of film. And how many parents are going to want to take their kids to see a woman going down on a man for a Christmas film? The kids are great actors and add a lot of life to the film. The stories involving, Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Emma Thompson, and Alan Rickman make the movie, a real story worth telling. Hugh Grant blows you away with his character and his romance. Truly brilliant. And his dance at Downing Street is awesome! Colin Firth is awesome as well. His story is also very inspiring, very romantic and exciting. Mr. Darcy is back! They never disappoint. The way these characters are developed is spectacular. The movie picks up and ends with a great finish, which makes you almost forget for a minute about the rest of the cr*p that should be cut, the running time is too long anyway. If they don't, it's a shame for the brilliant actors who invested their time in this film.