Facile and muddled, yet pleasant and amusing enough

Rating: 7/10 (9 May 2004)

The DVD analysis and out-takes make a few things clear. The writer-director had a great many ideas, some brilliant, many overblown, but far too many to be contained in a two-hour-and-eight-minute-and-at-that-still-too-long commercially aimed holiday movie. One of the sad results is that the five out-takes included on the DVD would have been five of the best 8 scenes in the movie. apparently, nearly three-and-a-half hours were filmed and the editing obviously turned into a "team effort" in the absolute worst sense of the term.
One theme, almost a mantra to the people involved with the film, is that these were all conceptually variations on one basic story, with common threads from the global tapestry of love. This is great stuff for film school, but in direct conflict with what studio executives think there audiences want to see when they come out to see a romantic comedy at holiday time. And, this time, the execs are probably closer to what's best for the film than the creative geniuses who can no longer see the forest -- but they are hooked totally on commercial viability.
With 20-20 hindsight, the problems are easy to see. Most simply, eight-plus stories are at least two-plus too many. Unfortunately, the two weakest and most peripheral stories also had the hottest and most marquee-worthy names. Somewhere there may be a brilliant movie waiting to be made with UK Prime Minister Hugh Grant refusing to continue being a lap dog for US President Billy Bob Thornton after the latter puts the make on an office girl that the former had his eye on. But, it would require much more emphasis on governmental and global issues that did not belong in this movie -- with the result that, really, none of this belonged in the movie. But, how can you cut out Hugh Grant's character and keep the film commercially viable? You can't -- but since the format allows for no expansion of the complications of such a romance for a Prime Minister, you are left with a subplot with little to offer beyond the charm of the two principals portraying the actors. Similarly, the Colin Firth character was supposed to connect somehow to Alan Rickman's character's mistress -- who in turn -- would have supplied some important insights. Without them, we have the ugly Briton in the South of France trying to write a novel with a Portuguese "beauty" who speaks no English and is as shallow as a wading pool. So, we get Colin Firth's considerable panache, a bunch of forgettable slapstick and even more forgettable wistfulness, an enjoyably choreographed --if overblown -- march through a Portuguese village, and a waste of 25-or-so all-too-valuable minutes of the movie's run-time. There's a bittersweet subplot with a wedding photographer that doesn't quite belong in the pastiche in the manner intended. The subplot with the overdependent brother ruining a love-life via cellphone falls flat quickly as well. The shame is that stripping these excess threads out would have allowed the film's true gems and interesting vignettes (Liam Neeson & son, Rickman & Thompson's entire family, the sex doubles, the singer-manager duo, and the stud with the American dream and his nay-saying friend) to keep their more memorable scenes and weave more seamlessly into the director's intended tapestry.
Okay, so much for the movie that did not get to be released. I believe that one that did get released did retain the writer-director's pervasive message of the delightful incongruities of the "family holiday" aspects of Christmas contrasted against all the commercial selling of sex concurrently airing during the period whilst adult sex-party games are in full force. Too bad these messages are not nearly as insightful or revelatory as intended. Worse, including all these smutty references -- irrespective of motivation -- limits its accessibility to an 8-to-14-year-old holiday audience that would have otherwise found much to enjoy.
In summary, Love Actually is full of flaws and misfires. The closer you get to the movie, the more you'll see them. But, if your looking for a pleasant enough pastiche of attractive people delivering witty and urbane dialog in a pleasant setting with a great soundtrack -- then put down your critic's pencil, check your brains, grab someone you love, and enjoy Love Actually.
My score: 7/10. By the way, if you enjoyed Hugh Grant in this film, make certain you see the far-better About A Boy from 2002. He's terrific in the comedy, and the film is quite a bit of fun for all but the most extremely hypercritical or for avid haters of Mr. Grant.