Miserable

Rating: Null/10 (7 August 2004)

Hype hype hype. That's all there is to Lost In Translation. There's literally nothing else of value to this film. Sophia Coppola's direction, Bill Murray's performance, the very "plot" of this movie... everything you've heard is pure hype, and if anybody tells you otherwise, they're lying through their teeth. This is, without question, the most boring, lifeless snoozefest I've ever had the displeasure of viewing. I could swear it was 3 hours long.
I simply cannot force myself to believe that anyone truly loves this movie. It's just... so... dull. Even the "interesting" parts that supposedly show how exciting and lively the Tokyo underworld is... they're unbelievably boring and irritating. Tokyo is completely wasted as a setting. This whole segment of the movie was like watching a series of terrible home videos featuring people you've never met, speaking a language you don't know so that when something interesting happens, you aren't even aware of it.
And what about the two main characters? All I can say is... who cares??? Both of them are completely colorless, and Bill Murray's "brilliant" performance is something most actors could do in their sleep. Neither character gave me any reason to like them, care about them, hate them, sympathize with them, or even bother to watch them.
The fact that this was actually nominated for Academy Awards makes me lose all hope for the future of humanity. I can't believe how overrated this movie is. It just blows my mind. I was expecting so much, and I got absolutely nothing except an hour and a half older.
The worst part is that someone decided to categorize this movie as a comedy.
You have got to be kidding me. Because Bill Murray wears an ugly shirt at some point? Because Japanese people have a strange culture? Murray's character isn't funny, strange Japanese mannerisms get old fast, and don't even TRY to feed me that "subtlety" line... this movie is not a comedy, is not funny, and is completely undeserving of all the praise it has received.
I had nothing but good expectations for this movie, so it's not like I wanted to hate it and did. The fact is that this film is utterly pointless, ridiculously tedious, and just plain lacks any sort of substance. It's just plain awful. Don't see it. Don't even give it a chance. Don't let the IMDb star rating fool you, and don't give in to critics' sterling reviews. All these people are out of their minds, or they're just gluttons for punishment. This is just one of those movies that people give good ratings because the star is getting old and their time for an Oscar is running out, because they're idiots, or because they like watching something that is as exciting as being in a coma.
So there you go.