I'd rather be lost ANYwhere else

Rating: 1/10 (25 December 2003)

I now know what it's like for those who didn't enjoy "Return of the King" and thus are in the minority opinion, exasperated as to how the masses could love it so (I found it to be one of the finest examples of moviemaking on record). Despite the lauding of this movie as "beautiful" and "perfect", I found it to be highly uninteresting at its best, nearly pedophilic at its worst.
This is just NOT a good movie. I feel like George and Jerry when they're describing their collaborative sitcom as being "about nothing". Well, this isn't far off. The completely unbelievable premise of a sad-sack, whiskey-soaked Murray and his troubled 18-year old co-star forging a bond that ultimately comes close (but doesn't get there, thankfully) to sexual is made worse by obviously inexperienced direction, a cliche-riddled script and slower-than-molasses pacing. A few scattered dalliances around town and a lot of grimaces and despair between the two leads ultimately ends up in -- you guessed it -- nothing happening. Goodbye, back home we go, our unnatural attraction unrequited.
I know that the tendency is to believe the majority and discard the voices of the few dissenters, but this is one of those rare cases where the majority is deeply in the wrong. This is a stay-away-at-all-costs movie.