Don't say you weren't warned!

Rating: 2/10 (9 May 2010)

One word: run.
I was so totally bored to tears with this movie that I finally walked out about 2/3 of the way through and I urge you to do the same, only about 90 minutes sooner. Not only is it a chick flick, all about some girl's angsty time in Tokyo that's supposed to seem all existential and meaningful just because she's bummed to find that her boyfriend is cheating on her. But its also a lame art film, which means it has no plot and lots of "real" characters and situations that, BECAUSE they're slow and boring, are supposed to be all noble and better than a movie with great characters, writing and plot. (This is how artsy people think, or rather, how they think they think. Take pity on them, they know not what they do.)
If you are forced to see this with your girlfriend (or I suppose some pretentious guys are out there running around, so "or boyfriend"), I would not only head for the hills but go do some serious thinking about whether you're in the wrong relationship, because if you are dating someone who likes this movie, trust me. You are going to cheat on that person when they finally drive you insane with their own angsty whining about how the world owes them more attention. Then, when you cheat on them, they will sink into a miasma of victimhood and get all arty and morose and watch this movie again and try and make you feel all "just like a guy." And then you're going to say, this is just what that review said would happen! Spoiler!
Anyway, apparently self-congratulatory brainy chicks really like this movie, so they should definitely go see it and discuss it amongst themselves for a long time at a coffee house afterward, and leave the rest of us to re-watch Zoolander or Die Hard in peace. (They just get better on repeated viewings, which you already know.)
There you have it. Now say thank you.