Pretentious trash

Rating: Null/10 (9 December 2007)

I have loved and hated many "art films" but never have I hated a movie so much as this one. Despite all the ridiculously undeserved hype and glorious acclaim I simply cannot understand why anyone would ever like this film. If critics had not given this trash such glowing reviews I would not loathe it so (though, I would still hate it), but I suppose once you ignore the clichés and literal nothingness of the movie then you can appreciate that the director's last name is Coppola. Hm. Frankly, I have watched whiteout dry on paper and water turn to ice and found that far more interesting. At least something is happening. If this is what makes directors famous then I might as well film whiteout and water and at least get rich doing it.
Lost in Translation was honestly the most boring film I had ever seen. No exaggeration. "Hilarious comedy" my ass. I did not laugh once. My sister fell asleep twice; the second time she did she asked me not to wake her up. Shots of windows and Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansen saying nothing are boring. Empty, clichéd dialogue is boring. Japanese people who always exchange their "L's" for "R's" is boring and stereotypical.
What was Sophia Coppola trying to tell us? That unhappy people sometimes meet each other and depend on each other's presence? That people can't communicate? (Ooh, "Lost in Translation," of course! Clever, Miss Coppola, very clever.) This movie isn't "subtle," it's boring. It does not evoke melancholy and moroseness (the choice emotions of the pretentious nowadays), it evokes nothing. Nothing happens. At all.
If I could give this a negative score, I would. At least even -1 stars is not nothing.