The movie everyone said I just HAD to see ... but I wish I didn't

Rating: 1/10 (5 December 2006)

This is the movie that everyone told me I MUST see, yet after seeing it I wish I didn't. To understand this, please take into consideration that I am a western person, dating a Japanese person for +5 years and having spent quite some time in Japan.
Now, all my western friends urged me to see this movie, telling me it was funny and sad at the same time and gives a perfect depiction of how life in Japan is for western people, the interaction between western people and Japanese and lots of cultural references. So finally my girlfriend and I rented the DVD and sat down to watch it... all I can say is, I wish I could get my 100 Yen back from the rental shop.
First problem: I don't know what kind of movie this is and what the message is they are trying to convey: it's not funny, it doesn't contain any deeper message, it's not realistic and it's ultimately boring. I can only hope this was some kind of experiment to make a satire that makes fun of Japanese, and even in that regard it's a bad movie.
The way Japanese are portrayed is just plain wrong: professional translators are depicted as nothing more than idiots who feel the need to 'edit' messages. I speak both Japanese and English and know full well that one cannot always just translate literally from Japanese to English, but they exaggerate this to a point that it becomes comedy. Japanese translators should be very offended by this movie.
Our main characters are totally egotistical and make no effort whatsoever to adapt and blend into the country/culture they reside at that time. After only watching the movie for 5 minutes my thoughts were: guys, just go home already.
The general Japanese society is depicted in such a racist way that I find it offense even though I am not Japanese myself. Having spent many years studying the language and culture of Japan, I cannot help but feel offended that a country with such a rich culture and language is portrayed as if it were an alien planet on the original series of Star Trek, with people that are retarded to the point they just can't work with foreigners. Anyone who has been to Japan and has taken the time to adapt oneself (which one should do or just not go there at all) knows this not to be an accurate representation. Sure, Japan has it's problems, but Lost in Translation exaggerates them to a point it isn't even funny anymore, making it borderline racist! Next time Ms Copolla directs a movie, I hope she will at least be more respectful to the culture her movie plays in and she will at least perform a tiny bit of research before packing and moving over there to tape meaningless scenes totally disconnected from reality.
The funny (or sad) thing is that I've been to a lot of the place they've taped and have also stayed at the Park Hyatt hotel once but unlike Mr Murray and Ms Coppola, I didn't fill my days by drinking at the bar and staring aimlessly out the window like I've just been lobotomized. I basically just went there to sleep and take a shower, like normal people do and the rest of the time I was out in the city doing my business. The shooting locations in Kyoto are also places I've been. Ms Coppola somehow manages to be at some of the most attractive tourist scenes by her lonesome self ... perhaps she went there just before there was an announcement that a 9.5 earth quake was going to hit Kyoto and everyone evacuated ... and even then there would be more visitors than in the movie! But of course she needed those quiet scenes to depict the 'zen' part of Japan, as any new-age hippy would do.
At some point in time, I was wondering whether I was still watching a movie set in Japan or a fictional story playing in the head of some acid-junkie who just came down from a bad trip.
For those wanting to watch movies that REALLY portray Japanese life, I suggest renting or buying Japanese movies like My neighbor Yamada (Yamada-kun no tonari), which albeit being an animation has the advantage of showing a correct image of Japanese society in a funny way (a bit like the Simpsons parody US society while at the same time containing a lot of truth).
Seriously, I want my 100 Yen back from Ms Coppola!