Happiness is a Warm Gun: A DVD Extras review

Rating: Null/10 (13 November 2009)

"When you see 'presented by', 'in association with', or 'in conjunction with' in the opening credits of a film, it usually means the production was financed outside the Hollywood system. Which isn't surprising; no one could accuse this of being a typical Hollywood film. I still don't know who these people are." So begins Andrew Niccol's quietly wry audio commentary on this 2005 Momentum DVD edition of his "part drama, part instructional video of how to be a gun runner", and it's testament to the writer and director of one of the best, certainly most quotable, films of 2005 that he can confidently hold his own for the next two hours without losing the viewer to numerous tea-making sessions.
Among other things, we learn he "had to avoid using real names of African dictators, as some of them are alive and sensitive about their image." We also find out that one of models playing the (possibly HIV-positive) beauties Cage is offered by Baptiste is in real-life a good will ambassador for the World Health Organisation.
Elsewhere we discover that "the only thing worse than shooting on the sea is shooting in the air, and in this film I was foolish enough to do both." The plane that forces a landing on a teeming African dirt road was genuinely out of control, smashed into a camera, and its propellers nearly decapitated an extra, "appropriately called 'Lucky'".
The remainder is variable, with the most attractive proposition being a very watchable Making Of documentary. First AD Matthew Perry describes how he spent many hours discussing how they were going to get hold of so many weapons for the movie; in the event, and appropriately, it was cheaper to get hold of the real things. Yeah, worrying. "We bought 3,000 Kalashnikovs and sold them back," adds director Niccol. "It was almost like becoming an arms dealer." And in meeting real dealers, the filmmaker worries about how much he actually warmed to them. Yeah, that's worrying too. We also discover the dangers of working with live South African vultures (they come first in the pecking order), and just how the crew managed to land that jumbo-jet sized plane on that teeming African dirt road: yes, they really did it (and without miniatures or green screens - but that's not an African dirt road).
In the depressing 'Making A Killing: Inside The International Arms Trade', assorted Amnesty reps, international lawyers and ambassadors profile some real-life dealers; discuss 'child soldiers' ("often plied with cocaine and gunpowder to make them high" or given amulets to make them think they're invincible in battle); warn of the dangers of "going to war with yourself"; and remind us (if we needed to be reminded) that there are more guns around than the world possibly needs.
Just as effective in its own way is Amnesty International's short satirical film on the main disc, that imagines a couple of smiley Shopping Channel-style presenters flogging AK47 assault rifles alongside the ice-cream makers and dressing gowns. "Now, if you're sitting at home, thinking 'is an assault rifle difficult to use', then you need not worry: what do you think child soldiers are using in Liberia?" A very sexy trailer makes explicit connections between sex, power and hardware; the only thing missing is The Beatles' 'Happiness Is A Warm Gun' on the soundtrack. There are 10 short deleted scenes, ranging from the quite unnecessary (anything featuring Jared Leto or Bridget Moynahan) to some expressly designed to showcase more of Cage's pithy one-liners: "If I'm remembered, that means I'm dead"; "There's nothing better for an arms dealer than disgruntled soldiers and a warehouse full of weapons."
Most of the main players (and producer Norman Golightly) drop by for an on-set interview, during which we learn Yuri Orlov was a composite of several real-life arms dealers, and Cage discusses that bloody vulture again ("It was like a velociraptor"). Jared Leto (AKA 'an absolute waste of space') likes films that "teach me things. It feels like a giant movie... for some reason. It's a really... uh... fascinating movie." Talking with Jared (and Ethan and Bridget), you begin to appreciate why most footballer players and actors really shouldn't be allowed to deconstruct their own performances. Shut up, act, and get laid more than normal folk - that's what you're paid for.
Fortunately, Cage (more articulate, or at least amusingly laconic, than most) has his own stand-alone interview, during which he's quizzed by a sexy-voiced Eurofemme, while dressed like a Riviera pimp with a 'tache and a cornea-obliterating orange tan.