Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Rating: 8/10 (7 August 2011)

"No money. No weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses"
Tom (Jason Flemyng), Soap (Dexter Fletcher), Eddie (Nick Moran) and Bacon (Jason Statham, not quite yet the action star he'd later become) are four of the luckiest men I know. They are always knee deep in trouble, always up s**t creek without a paddle, yet somehow, someway lady luck whores upon their behalf time and again. They decide to challenge "Hatchet Harry" in a cards game, one with enormous stakes, because Eddie "reads reactions well", but underestimates the power to cheat.
Yep, Harry has his own "Hatchet Man", Barry "the Baptist" (nicknamed this because he has a way of dunking heads in water to "fish for information" when his boss demands the "goods") who keeps a monitor down stairs and secret cameras which are able to read the cards of those participating in the high-stakes cards game. So even if Eddie might've had the skills to upend Harry if the game was legit, he's s**t out of luck, because Harry is sneaky and underhanded. So Eddie winds up owing Harry 250, 000 pounds and must come up with it in a manner of days. Sting has a snazzy supporting role as Eddie's pops who owns a bar that Harry wants; Harry will take the bar in exchange for Eddie's life.
The plot doesn't stop there, no sir, with multiple characters coming into picture, such as a "Samoan Joe" pub owner (David Reid with a fro, whose character, funnily enough, is actually Samoan Jo!), crooked neighbors who live next to Eddie and the gang (planning to heist a group of pot smoking dealers), and a hapless bunch of marijuana growers whose idea of security is woefully inept. But how two antique guns play into the entire scheme of things is just hilarious. Those two guns lead to all sorts of mayhem—the way they exchange hands you'd think this film was "Winchester '73".
About the guns, Barry The Baptist hires two bumbling blockheads (who normally steal cars and postal items) to take them from the home of an elderly couple fallen on hard times. The thing is, they were actually told to take weapons from a cabinet (but the guns Harry specifically wants aren't in the cabinet, so the two thieves sell them to "Nick the Greek", more about him in a moment) and do so. Barry is furious with them and warns the duo to go and get those guns back. Nick the Greek buys and sells contraband, having made deals with Tom over "merchandise". Nick sells the guns to Tom. Eddie and the gang plan to rob their neighbors after they rob the dope dealers. Yes, the plot just goes on and on. Keeping up with this movie was quite a feat, I must say, but the characters are fun and in Ritchie's movies they are colorful enough and developed with little quirks and personalities. I can say this: "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" isn't boring! I haven't even mentioned Vinnie Jones, as "Big Chris" who is Hatchet Harry's "muscle" (and the icing on the cake is how his son accompanies him on "missions"!), intimidating as ever, but not without principles (and doesn't tolerate profanity or blasphemy in front of, or from, his son, even though violence is common place in their lives!). At least, in this movie's case, he's not just a violent brute, but does seem to operate with a level of control. Those familiar with Ritchie's style can expect a vibrant and energetic camera style, not to mention, clever methods behind setting up the spiraling-out-of-control plot and the litany of characters who populate this criminal world. Harry seems to be the catalyst--or is it the pot--but, things get out of control with and without his help.