Dry action-comedy with almost incomprehensible dialogue

Rating: 3/10 (1 May 2001)

I can understand why this movie was a hit in Britain. They can actually make out the words that come out of these ultra-cockney-accented Brits' mouths. As for us Americans, we're screwed. Why this movie didn't come with subtitles is beyond my comprehension.
Despite that, this movie still became a hit worldwide. However, I wasn't stimulated by its unique but often dry sense of style. One thing I do have to note is the soundtrack, which is great, containing some head-bobbing hits by soul artists like James Brown.
To add to the incomprehensible dialogue, we're faced with an uninteresting and convoluted plot, full of twists and turns are supposedly worthy of an "Ahhh" out of us. This is one of those movies that piles up so many plots and subplots to the point where I don't even care which direction the characters are headed. I just can't wait for the movie to end!
I think one reason why this movie has such a dull atmosphere is because it's driven by sit-down scenes. Now, I read in a screenwriting book that "sit-down" scenes are like a kiss of death in writing a movie, and unless it's pulled off with pure genius like in "My Dinner with Andre" it will make the audience fall asleep in no time. We have all these scenes where people are sitting in darkly lit pubs, when you know there's supposed some ACTION going on! This is one of the few dialogue-driven action flicks I've seen. Of course, "Pulp Fiction" had a lot of dialogue scenes, but you know what the difference is? "PF's" dialogue was interesting and funny! This movie has certain echoes of "Pulp Fiction" but lacks the sly humor and intelligence.
I only laughed a couple of times--if this was, in fact, supposed to be a comedy. And I watched it TWICE. So for all of you out there who think I just need to give the movie another look--been there, done that. "Lock Stock" is just not up to my taste. I don't understand why it made the Top 250, but that's just me.
Message to Guy Ritchie: Next time you make a movie like this...USE SOME FREAKIN' SUBTITLES!!!!
My score: 3 (out of 10)