What moron told Guy Ritchie he had any talent?

Rating: 3/10 (15 September 2012)

This is a truly dreadful film. Every tired and overused cockney cliché is slotted firmly into place; the acting is terrible, the script is staggeringly lame and the plot is tedious; the cinematography is embarrassingly naff and the direction is wannabe ham-fisted fumbling; the characters are all two-dimensional cardboard cut-outs (Nick the Greek, fer Chrissakes - a five-year-old could be more original) and it was very hard to give a damn about any of them.
It's been a long time since I've seen anything as this bad. I honestly can think of anything good to say about it. This is a truly dreadful film.