Too late in the Die Hard game too suck this much

Rating: 6/10 (13 July 2007)

Fear is something that can strike deep into the heart of anyone for any reason. You dear reader, for instance, probably have an aversion to snakes, spiders, flying, heights, or some other such mundane nonsense. Some people seem to be indifferent to these previously said and any assumable phobias. Although now we have substantial reason to believe that that the Hollywood hierarchy can screw up even something as sure fire as this franchise. But enough of that. If you want reasons for what should be this blasphemy I'm spouting, I've got'em. One of the many things wrong is the choice of director. Len Wiseman, or for everybody else, Mr. "All I know how to make is stoic wannabe goth vampire movies". And what do you know, the new Die Hard is extremely color bleached and lacks a decent sense of humor, like Wiseman's previous efforts. The thing that hurts most from that last sentence is that all the Die Hards had a great sense of humor, not just I'm John McClaine and I do my job. More like "yeah, I'm John McClaine, I do my crappy job, and I realize I'm a lucky guy. And they don't pay me enough". Also, the movie was too over the top. Too many times in the movie it seemed that things could have only happened the way they did if the hand of God came down and rearranged things to McClaine's liking. And the bad guy seemed like he should be doing extremely metrosexual Smirnoff ice commercials saying "Hi, I'm Timothy Olyphant, like elephant, and after a long hard day of giving a hand to the demise of a beloved franchise, I like to cool off with a Smirnoff ice". Too cut out any more redundancy, I'll leave it at deep down, or hollering from far away, was a Die Hard movie, fighting, not too hard, to get out. Last thought. Rambo, please come and deliver us from evil. 2008 is not too far away, but couldn't come soon enough. And "Transformers" is a great way to get the bad taste out of your mouth.