Utter Garbage

Rating: 1/10 (3 July 2007)

Live Free or Die Hard, or "Die Hard 4.0" as my invitation flyer said, is dreadful.
A loathable, wise-cracking computer geek gets hunted by robotic, cold blooded terrorists, Brucie turns up, has a bad day etc. After some "attitude" from the geek, Brucie Baby starts liking the kid. Cut to FBI headquarters where things are inexplicably going pear shaped, and the actor from Sunshine is getting hot under the collar. His adviser, one of the bad guys from the 1st series of 24, has no answers! The FBI happen to need the aforementioned too-cool-for-school-floppy-haired-IT-whizzkid to avert an internet terrorist plot! Cue lots of close ups of monitors processing complex algorithms with some super-fit Oriental chick directing proceedings (as if she'd be a terrorist with those looks) spouting unrealistic, unheard of computer lies. Mix that up with indestructible, gymnastic, top-heavy martial-arts-expert bad-guys, ridiculous fight scenes, cars flying into helicopters, good looking cyber criminals speed walking into rooms, eliminating security guards with silenced pistols, and you have your joint biggest waste of money of the year.
The one-liners were so devoid of humour, a pack of hyenas would have been depressed, and like many films these days, it was about 50 minutes too long, I was praying for the ending but it dragged on and on. At least it was a freebie, and Brucie won.
If you want a mindless festival of nonsense then this film still wouldn't satisfy.