R.I.P. Die Hard

Rating: 2/10 (28 June 2007)

I'm in no way a fan of summer blockbusters, but as something of an enthusiast of the Die Hard franchise, I was unable to resist Live Free or Die Hard. Suffice it to say, I was quite disappointed. The direction and screen writing were horrible; I'd be able to understand if this film was, say, a new xXx sequel (which I wouldn't have wasted my time with), but they were really out of place here. The stunts were alright, but simply weren't "McClane" enough to leave a lasting impression. The movie's one-liners, if that's what you would call them, were lame and transparent (this, however, didn't stop an unimaginative middle-aged man seated near me from gut-laughing at every remotely smart-ass remark that came out of Bruce Willis' mouth). Timothy Olyphant, whom I admired for his sociopathic enthusiasm in films like Go and Scream 2, played the film's antagonist as if he were a sheet of drywall. And while it could be said that Die Hard villains are known for their stale personalities, I was never convinced that Olyphant's Thomas Gabriel could be considered a serious threat to McClane. I also found it rather annoying to note that, in approximately every fourth or fifth scene, a character's lines would be overdubbed, most likely to save the movie from an R rating. This was an odd choice, considering how gratuitously violent and foul-mouthed the first three films of the series were. The most gratuitous this film gets is a bit part from Kevin Smith (whom I admire less and less with every passing year). Essentially all the excitement and suspense was given away in the trailer; what I was surprised at most was the fact that other members of the audience were audibly surprised that McClane blew up a helicopter with a car by using a toll booth as a ramp. Here's my bottom line: If you're a good, docile American, or if something as cerebral as V For Vendetta was outside your realm of understanding, you'll absolutely love this movie.
P.S. It would be silly to defend Len Wiseman by claiming that it would be unfair to compare Live Free or Die Hard with the first three Die Hard movies. If we weren't supposed to make that comparison, it would've been wise to leave the name John McClane out of this picture, don't you think?