Awful Awful Awful

Rating: 1/10 (29 July 2007)

I wouldn't contribute to this except to say it's the worst movie I've seen in a long long time. And that's taking into consideration that I wasn't excited about it going into the theater. This was consumerist America rearing its ugly head and saying "thank you sir, may I have another" to corporate Hollywood. This was not a film that should have been made. This was a banal cash-in by some studio execs counting on the national nostalgia about everything that happened in the 80's to come through for them, and like every other sad 80's exhumation, it seems to have paid off. I have lots of friends who still don't get why this is so bad. I rarely pay attention to movies this utterly horrible, but this one I did. Because I loved Die Hard and Die Hard with a Vengeance when I was a teenager. But this piece of trash was absolutely nothing like those movies. It had no plot, no backstory to any of the characters, including the main character, nothing whatsoever to link it to the other movies even for a desperate stab at borrowed value. It was, as the person who slept through most of the movie next to me said "porn for action junkies". And not even that good for porn.