The Biggest Loser

Rating: 2/10 (6 February 2007)

The self-help guru who can't help himself. The burnt-out wife who serves KFC every night. The foul-mouthed, horny Grandpa. The gay suicidal college professor. The Nietzsche-worshiping slacker. The pudgy girl who dreams of being Miss America. The VW bus that breaks down every 5 minutes. Stop me if you've heard all of this before!
Why does Richard want to be Tony Robbins when he grows up? Why does Dwayne think that not talking will make him a fighter pilot, and why would such a non-conformist want to join the military to begin with? If Proust was such a loser, then why is Frank a Proust scholar? The cop overlooks Grampa's rotting corpse, but gets a boner over the porn? The pageant runner has no problem with the JonBenet wanna-bes, yet blows a gasket when Olive gets her Super Freak on? Gimme a break!
The "plot" hinges on a message left by Sheryl's sister that Olive has become a replacement for the Little Miss Sunshine regional winner. Does anyone ask why Little Miss Sunshine didn't call them? Does anyone ask how Olive will be able to enter the pageant without proof? Does anyone ask how she could be considered beauty pageant material to begin with? Heck, no! Instead, everyone piles into the VW so she can get there by Sunday! No wonder this cliché-ridden clap trap will clean up at the Oscars!