The worst animated film ever made by anyone, ever!

Rating: 1/10 (28 March 2004)

Ever since I was young, I have always loved going to see Disney films at the cinema. Some have been incredible - Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, The Emporer's New Groove. Some have been very good - Hercules, Mulan, Tarzan. Some have been okay - Atlantis, Treasure Planet, Brother Bear. Some have been not very good (like Hunchback and Pocahontas) but with them, at least I could still sit through them without being offended or appauled. This is what I felt when I went to see Lilo and Stitch, and the brilliant ad campaign promised so much ...
There are dozens, even hundreds of things wrong with this film, and one thing right with it - Elvis songs.
Bad things ...
All the characters have the potential to be funny, but they either choose the wrong things to say, or say them the wrong way or in the wrong accent - this makes nearly every line painful to watch, and makes you want to kill the characters. And I mean that.
It's badly written - choppy, inconsistant plot, stupid dialouge (that bit at the begining when Lilo says something about her fish predicting the weather - what the hell was that!? I have never heard such an awkward silence in a cinema before.) Everything is twisted (not gracefully) to be about families, and worst of all, the characters are incredibly cruel to each other (for laughs, I felt) and never really turn around until the last two minutes. I thought these were flaws that were so blatant everyone would notice them. The little movie critic that lives in my head was screaming bloody murder.
Lilo is the worst child I have ever seen - she beats people up, (One of the most disturbing parts is when Stitch & Lilo shove a little girl off her tricycle and take off with it, leaving the little girl sobbing in the dirt. If you think that's funny, you have some serious mental problems.) She's annoying, she nails herself into rooms saying "leave me to die" (am I crazy, or is that not appropriate for a children's film?) She's annoyingly designed and voiced. You never, EVER feel ANY sympathy for her at all. I kept hoping this movie would have a happy ending in which Stitch would redeem himslef by doing the world a favour and rip Lilo in half like a phone book.
Nani is the worst care giver ever, and the family situation was a horrible scenario. The worst bit was when she's locked out and they're insulting each other "I'm going to kill you" ect. and then later they act like the closest of friends. Absolutely appauling! This film also has THE most blatantly saccharine family values quote ever "Family means no one is left behind" - not so much cheesy, as a chain of cheese shops, which just may have been ignorable had the characters had any sort of believable familile bond. But they didn't, which brought the film down several more notches.
Stitch is terrible, a destructive brat who (everytime we just about feel sympathy for him) blows up a house and starts off from square one. Annoyingly voiced and desgined (as pretty much everything is in this film) and with the huge plot hole (if he's adverse to water, why does he come into contact with it ALL THE TIME and live?) Well done, writers.
The aliens ... don't get me started on how annoying they were. No sense of good comiedic timing or delivery (or writing for that matter). Add to this, an ending which was stupid, forced, and convientley didn't make sense but tied thngs up. I have never left the cinema so disspointed. More than that, I felty angry that Disney, who I have grown up with and cherish have made something this terrible and actually think it's good. Treasure planet was heaven after this!
The moral this one left me with was "Hey, it's okay to treat others like ... because Ohana means family." - Sorry, I won't buy that. I'd strongly suggest parents read some proffessional reviews on this movie, there's a reason this movie hasn't made much money in comparison to the Disneys of the past. "Hunchback" and even "Pocahantas" grossed over $100 million more than this one, and at least they were boring but inoffensive. I hope that says something. In conclusion, avoid this festering turd of a film, and if you have it and like it, watc it again having read this and see if you can deny what I've said.