Great visuals serve only as a distraction from a overbearingly preachy plot and shallow characters.

Rating: 1/10 (29 January 2013)

I'm going to go ahead and say it outright. This film flat out takes the cake for the most overrated film of the year. This is unwarranted and uninspired Oscar bate on a Hurt Locker level. For the first time in a very long time I have actually left a movie feeling I had wasted my money.
You all know the plot. A boy finds himself adrift at sea with a dangerous tiger after a horrific shipwreck. At the start of the film we are subjected to a meandering and drawn-out set up for themes and characters that do not even see a reprise or conclusion before the end of the film. It really felt like this film was stretching every scene and concept to a breaking point to fill the three hour artistic precedent established by previous Oscar winners like Return of the King. It just drags and drags until we are finally privy to the main plot. But then, the films biggest problem comes to a head: the theme.
The film's theme cannot even be adequately described as it lacks any focus or objectivity. It simply comes off as an overbearing theistic agenda slathered onto an unrelated story. It presents itself as a lesson about faith, but doesn't convey this message in any other fashion than saying "I had faith and I survived, therefore you should have faith." As a critical thinker, I simply counter the point by demonstrating that if a faithless person was put in the same position as the main character and made the same decisions (since none of these decisions were based his faith) they would have identical outcomes. There in lies the problem: the lesson is not demonstrated through means of the story or character progression. It is literally told to you every few scenes via frequent and uninspired narration. The first rule in screen writing is a simple one: Show, don't tell. After all, film is a visual medium. Apparently the screenwriter missed the memo.
What else is there to say? The acting was wooden. The score was big but not memorable. The only thing I can give to the film's credit is some beautiful cinematography and an effective use of 3D. But presentation is all for naught if the story is ineffective, and Life of Pi never once managed to grab me, move me or convince me of anything. It serves only as a colossal waste of money and time; my own and Hollywood's.