Like a joke that tries to build but falls flat with a bad punchline

Rating: 1/10 (3 March 2013)

This movie starts slow. The shipwreck scene at sea is only somewhat believable, if you allow yourself to be distracted by the CGI, but it drags, and the references to religion are just a mish-mash of ancient superstition that don't mesh well with the supposed story being told. In the end we learn there is possibly another story that is the "truth", and which is preferred? Well I liked neither. And neither story was "true" since all was fiction to begin with.
"Life of Pi" felt like a story that wanted to go somewhere but didn't know how to, like the author was Pi and trying to figure out how to write a story for the first time, hoping that the proposed alternate story at the end would give the time spent on the rest of the tale some sort of validity, which it didn't. It reminds me of a joke I heard a few years back, one of those jokes where I wondered why I wasted my time listening to it, and I will repeat it here, giving it a Life-of-Pi ending:
One day, Juan is out trimming his hedges. His neighbor looks over and says, "Juan, you're a great guy. You don't beat your wife, abuse your kids, or kick your dog. You should run for Mayor!"
So Juan runs for Mayor. People see what a great guy he is, and they elect him.
After his term is over, Juan is back out to his hedges. His neighbor looks over again. "Juan, you're a great guy. You don't beat your wife, abuse your kids, or kick your dog. You should run for Senator!"
So Juan runs for Senator. People see what a great guy he is, and they elect him.
After his term is over, Juan is back out to his hedges. His neighbor looks over again. "Juan, you're a great guy. You don't beat your wife, abuse your kids, or kick your dog. You should run for President!"
So Juan runs for President. People see he's a great guy- doesn't beat his wife, abuse his kids, or kick his dog. So they elect him. However, as Juan is sitting in the Oval Office one day, a shady man in a black coat walks in and says, "Juan, you're a great guy. But you need to start screwing up- beat your wife, abuse your kids, and start kicking your dog. Or I'll kill you." So Juan begins to beat his wife, abuse his kids, and kick his dog. After a while of this, Juan's old neighbor comes in.
"Juan, what are your doing? You used to be a great guy- now your family is gone and your dog has run away! You need to fix things up, or I'll kill you!"
So Juan is freaking out, but he decides to go out with honor. He patches things up with his wife and kids, and he gets a new dog. The next day, the shady man comes into his office and shoots Juan with a golf gun.

What's a golf gun? -

I don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan.

That was a stupid joke -

Which do you like better, the stupid joke or "Life of Pi?"

The stupid joke -

So it is with God.