Why 'Life Of Pi' is a film with a terrible message

Rating: 1/10 (28 February 2013)

I went to see 'Life Of Pi' in 3D as I'd heard what an amazing, life-changing movie it was, and that it was one of the best uses of 3D ever. Unfortunately it was neither of these things. Theoretically, it's a movie which few people should actually like, and should offend religious people, yet almost everyone seems to be lapping it up like God's very own ejaculate.
I'll get the 3D aspect out of the way first. Whilst the visuals were brilliant, beautiful and sometimes breathtaking with vibrant fluorescent colours, there wasn't a single shot of 3D in the entire film that made me think, 'that's impressive use of 3D', and I'm a fan of good 3D. Whilst Pi was poking a stick at the screen, instead of it coming out at me in 3D, it was a rather pathetic, unfocused blur.
The film is about a boy/young man called Pi who was shipwrecked. A writer tracks him down as he hears Pi has a wonderful story that will supposedly make him believe in God. Pi tells the story and it's incredibly long-winded with nothing remotely miraculous in it, mostly just a load of bad luck. Most of the story is Pi and a tiger stuck on a small rescue boat, and whilst that's interesting for a while, after about an hour, it becomes really rather tedious.
Pi then tells a second story which is the true version of events, and there's nothing remotely miraculous in that one either, again just a load of bad luck. At this point I was thinking 'I cannot believe I've spent about an hour watching Pi and a tiger on a boat when it never even happened and he was just bulls**tting us'.
So basically he tells two stories, one of which is lies and one true. He then asks the writer which story he prefers and he says he, "The one with the tiger. That's the better story." Pi responds, "Thank you. And so it goes with God." However, just because the writer preferred the first story doesn't mean he now believes in God like Pi claimed he would; he merely liked the first story better. Just like Pi's first story, this claim is more bulls**t from a compulsive liar. Personally, I liked the second story much better, which was never even shown, merely given a brief spoken account of. It sounded like it would have made a far better movie than an hour on a boat befriending a tiger. What Pi should have said is that the two stories he was about to tell would make the writer understand the nature of faith better, not make him believe in God.
The message,which began with Pi as a kid following three different religions, and ended with him spelling out that that it doesn't matter which story(religion/belief) is true, just follow the one you like the best and comforts you the most, is a terrible message. It teaches people that it's OK to believe in lies instead of the truth, to follow a religion just because it has a nice story, and maybe even follow a few simultaneously then you can enjoy all the various stories.
The movie tries to have an open-minded, positive message about religion, encompassing them all. That's all very well for teaching tolerance of other religions, but as a message it's problematic as I just find it so flaky. Since when has the truth been so unimportant? The truth is important and I won't let this ill-thought-out movie tell me otherwise. As someone who doesn't agree with the concept of believing in lies just to comfort oneself with a nice story, the message went against what I believe.
Furthermore, I don't understand how anyone religious could like the movie either. Surely the whole point of religion is to follow it because you actually believe it to be the truth, not just because it's comforting and a nice story. If I was religious then I would find this message patronising and offensive. Religious people praising the movie can only mean one of two things: 1) They're fully aware that their religion is a lie and don't care as they're happy just liking the story 2) They didn't get the message of the film. Neither of these reasons are anything to be proud of.
The only demographic I would imagine liking this film are flaky people, and people who think being flaky is acceptable, or even admirable. According to IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes, this is over 80% of the population. I can't say I find THAT true story very comforting, but, as the truth is apparently not important, maybe I should believe that nobody is flaky and everyone else agrees with me and sees 'Life Of Pi' for what it really is. If there's one thing I can't stand it's flakiness; it's annoying and you never know where you stand with such people or what they stand for.
I liked the idea of a story being too traumatic to tell so giving a false version with symbolism instead, but the message about religion was stupid. If people simply enjoyed the journey then that's fine but it isn't that interesting, and without the message, hollow. People thinking the message is wonderfully deep, beautiful and philosophical, however, need to quit being such flakes and give themselves a slap. Yann Martel, who wrote this 'lying-is-wonderful' story, needs to find another career and spare the world from more stupid messages.
Other than impressive and beautiful visuals, a few lines of good humour and a shipwreck, this film had nothing for me. Plus it dragged, like Ang Lee movies tend to; I would honestly have preferred to sit through his 'Hulk' movie a second time. Pi is a boring, time-wasting, flaky, bulls**tting douche, and I'd be grateful if next time he kept his ill-thought-out, tediously long-winded stories to himself.