Painful to sit through

Rating: 1/10 (25 November 2012)

This is a three hour movie but you'll swear you were in the theater for at least 12. I don't normally mind long movies but this one was pretty slow and boring. My sister fell asleep for half of it but my brother and I were not as fortunate. There were some sporadic entertaining parts and the 3D had it's moments but that's no reason to torture yourself for the other 2 1/2 hours. Just when you think the movie is about to wrap up, the guy starts telling another story! I almost walked out right then and actually wish I did because the ending is what really made me feel cheated.
*Spoiler* So you're telling me the entire story you just wasted my time with was a complete lie? I felt bad for the guy that was following him around all over the place listening to his BS for hours and hours. I think I would've probably punched him in the face. I have a history of missing the point of these artistic movies but I don't understand how lying about what happened when you got shipwrecked makes anyone closer to God.
I'm going to use this technique on my girlfriend.
Honey, I went to the store to buy you a gift when I was kidnapped by a unicorn that flew me to a magical island with perfume flowers and lipstick bushes. Then I killed the unicorn and escaped on a giant pterodactyl that scratched up my back and dropped me off just in time for breakfast.
Oh, you don't like that story? How about, I went to the bar, got wasted and went home with some other chick last night?
I've told you two stories that both result in me not coming home last night. Both stories end with me having a scratched back, lipstick on my face and neck, and smelling of perfume.
Which story would you prefer? Do you believe in god now?