I Can't Believe I'm Saying This, But Life Sucks

Rating: 1/10 (31 March 2020)

I'm going to come out and say it; this movie is not just overrated, it's insultingly awful! The acting doesn't come across well, the story is poorly written, the characters are stupid, the effects are very bad for a 2017 movie, and I don't understand why people even REMOTELY enjoyed this one, because this was unbearable to me!
-- THE EFFECTS --
I'm sorry, but the effects were really bad. The movie came out in 2017 and it hurts to look at the alien, especially when it's clinging onto the people. Plus, the alien... looks really stupid. It honestly looks more like a plant from the Upside Down. I would've enjoyed it a bit more, but there's still more to go through.
-- THE CHARACTERS --
I hate, hate, HATE, the fact that there is almost no true character. Just having your characters talk to each other and look like they're having fun doesn't tell me what they're like. Even if that wasn't my problem, here's the biggest one: they're trained astronauts! All the decisions that they make are BEYOND unrealistic and questionable for someone of their intelligence! And for a group of people who have a threat, but they still have a high intelligence, how long do you think people would argue? Maybe, 10-15 seconds, tops? The movie makes them argue for seven minutes continuously all throughout the film! There is no true character development for anyone on the ship or elsewhere!
-- THE ACTING --
I love Ryan Reynolds, Rebecca Ferguson and Jake Gyllenhaal. as much as the next guy, really! But everyone's acting is not the right mood. Sure, when they're having fun and hanging out, it's acted (mostly) well, but once the alien arrives, there's only mild shock when it's discovered. The looks on their faces are mostly blank and dull unless they're (sigh) afraid of the alien. You might not agree with me yet, but please hold on with me for a little bit longer.
-- THE STORY --
This is, by far, the WORST part of the movie! Here's a quick rundown: A group of astronauts are out to collect a life sample found from a satellite, but later on it grows defensive and offensive, so it tries to kill the scientists in order for it to sustain its own life. In the end, every character is killed off, one by one, until the end where a twist so poorly written, shot, and directed that even M. Night Shyamalan is shaking his head in disappointment: they accidentally got the alien onto Earth and it will wipe out civilization as we know it.
You know that frustrating opening scene in Alien where the main characters know that the scientist was infected by the xenomorph, but they let him in anyways allowing the movie to continue (I still love that movie with an utmost passion, because it was mostly smart except for that one scene)? Imagine that for two hours then the aliens are so dumb as to wipe out humanity!
Here's the biggest problem with the story: all throughout the movie, it goes absolutely nowhere until the end where the characters made stupid decisions and kill all of humanity. "Oh, no, the alien put him in shock!" "I'll go in and help him! Whoops, never mind, I'm dead." or "Oh, no, the alien is in the air vents!" "I'll go out and repair the systems! Whoops, never mind, I'm dead." and this pattern repeats practically for forever! So the characters' deaths mean absolutely NOTHING except for "I was stupid."
Also, the title is the wrong name for the movie. This movie is mostly death; stupid, painful, pointless death. Given how they mentioned all the different lock-down methods (as they call "firewalls") this should be called "Firewall III", since Firewall I was the container holding the alien, Firewall II was the laboratory, and Firewall III is the space station. Is it just me or does that make a million times more sense for the title?
Normally, for most movies, I'd understand why people might love and/or hate the movie, but this one? This is an absolute slap in the face for anyone who has brain cells and is sober! I do not understand why you people like this, but don't make me watch it again! I'm sorry, but they forced me to say "Life sucks."