Imagine 'Alien' meets 'Gravity' - only terrible!

Rating: 2/10 (21 February 2019)

My god this film is awful. EYE-ROLLINGLY AWFUL!
I can only assume the original pitch was something like "Alien meets Gravity!", which may have been a reasonable idea if the screenplay wasn't such utter guff. It's all just all soooo dull and soooo derivative. It feels like it must have been written by an AI bot given the task of writing a screenplay that only studio execs would love. A mildly refreshing narrative twist about 30 mins in almost conned me thinking the film might not turn out to be as insufferable as initially seemed. Sadly this was not to be.
So, prepare to be bored to death by a mind-numbingly dull crew of astronauts battling the most hilariously unthreatening GCI monster in movie history. Seriously, at times it felt like I was watching a parody of Alien with Patrick Star from Spongebob as the monster. Prepare to be underwhelmed by long Gravity-lite tracking shots that only make you wish you were watching that film instead. And prepare to be perplexed as to what the heck Jake Gyllenhaal doing in this rubbish (For that matter what the heck is Jake Gyllenhaal doing with his career?! This, Okja and Velvet Buzzsaw represent a recent trilogy of tripe from a star whose presence used to tend to indicate a decent film more often than not.)
Avoid at all costs, unless your thing is poor quality rip-offs of better movies. Far, far better movies.