Beautiful, yes, but long and boring...

Rating: Null/10 (10 July 2000)

This movie was certainly filmed well, and some of the acting was quite well done, but overall I would give "Legends of the Fall" a 5/10. The story was very simple, yet still hard to follow at times. That is, I often didn't understand why the characters were doing what they were doing, because it wasn't stated, acted out, or even hinted at by the screenplay. Even the title didn't really make any sense after watching the movie. What were the Legends, and who or what fell?
I had little sympathy for any of the characters, either because they were too shallow, or because they ignited and stoked the very fires that burned them. Here's what I'd put on the back cover of the video:
A great ensemble cast plays a closely knit family torn apart by every tragedy imaginable. Following each tragedy, One Stab sings, Susana cries, Tristan cries then flies into a violent rage. The tragedies are punctuated by Tristan's underexplained soul-searching journeys around the world, and by more of Susana crying. Oh, and Alfred gets mad and cries a lot, too. Then Susana cries and mopes some more. All this leads up to a somewhat unrelated climax, and the viewer is left feeling empty and wondering exactly what happened. But at least Susana stops crying... ;)
Bottom line: lots of crying, lots of moping and/or rage, and much depression. Have fun, kids!