Left me bored and unenlightened

Rating: 3/10 (3 February 2016)

Peter Medak's 1990 film The Krays, starring Gary and Martin Kemp from Spandau Ballet as the titular London geezers, was decent, anchoring the twins' narrative on their overbearing mother, played ferociously by Billie Whitelaw. But seeing the film now, over two decades later, its synth-heavy score makes it feel dated and presses the need for a modern re-telling. Director Brian Helgeland bagged one of the most charismatic actors on the planet to play not one, but both of the twins for his update, and when the trailer first emerged on the internet for Legend, it felt like we were finally getting the definitive story of two of the most notorious gangsters in British history. So how on Earth did Legend turn out so mind- numbingly terrible?
In the early scenes we are carried along on a wave of genre clichés, from the spontaneous date proposal from the charming bad boy to the curious girl who should really know better, to a Steadicam shot of a swinging nightclub interior as the girl drinks this glamorous new world in without questioning how such luxury was achieved. It works like a students version of Goodfellas (1990), only without the originality, style or sparkling dialogue. The girl is Frances, or Frankie, and her new fella just happens to be Reggie Kray (Tom Hardy), former boxer-turned-criminal kingpin who, along with his twin Ronnie (also Hardy), are well on their path to ruling London with an iron fist. However, Legend seems more invested in the relationship between Reggie and Frankie than any of the twins' brutal schemes, and Emily Browning fails to inject any life into a thanklessly written role.
One of many of the film's baffling decisions is to have Frankie provide the voice-over, forcing her to deliver such lines as "a cup of tea can solve anything," with semi-conviction. Helgeland's script for L.A. Confidential won an Oscar in 1997, but Legend's dialogue makes the dullest of ITV dramas sound like Shakespeare spoken by Alan Rickman (R.I.P.). Yet this could be forgiven had the on-screen action possess an ounce of narrative coherency. Instead, Helgeland portrays the ups-and-downs of Reggie and Frankie's rocky marriage, dipping in and out of the Krays criminal activities whenever it seems to want to show us someone getting punched or shouted at in a style not to dissimilar to the work of Guy Ritchie.
Hardy tries his best, but his two characters have been written so cartoon-like that it's difficult take them seriously. Reggie is the brain who hides his violent urges, and Ronnie is the unhinged muscle who has no desire to disguise his brutal tendencies, seemingly revelling in telling other gangsters of his preference to boys. Ronnie is certainly the most interesting of the twins, but he gets a surprising lack of screen-time. His scenes with his more successful and handsome brother provide the stand-out moments, namely a bar fight that sees Hardy fight Hardy, but the complexity of their rocky relationship is only glimpsed and barely explored. Small roles for the likes of David Thewlis, Christopher Eccleston, Sam Spruell, John Sessions, Paul Bettany and Taron Egerton are highlights - Egerton, as 'Mad' Teddy Smith, in particular - but this is small praise for a film that simply left me bored and unenlightened. \