Blah Blah Bland

Rating: 3/10 (3 January 2017)

What is everyone in this film singing and dancing about? Our story starts off in a traffic jam on a freeway and suddenly everyone does a song and dance number that sets the tone that this film is a colorful original musical about ambitious young people who pursue their dreams in LA. The opening musical number is painful to watch but I assume the story will improve.
Our central characters are an actress who aspires to be a famous movie star and a musician who aspires to be a moody jazz pianist. She falls in love with him when she first hears him play his music. He falls in love with her as they begin to date and explore Hollywood. They soon trip head over heals in love and as if by magic they dance with bliss along the milky way.
The only problem is - she soon reveals that she does not understand what is so great about jazz. (Wait - I thought she loved his music when she first heard him play?) So he explains the history of jazz and the poetry of the musician. That seems good enough and they continue their starry eyed romance.
But her auditions are a bust. No work. Nothing changes. She has to write a one woman play to perform to demonstrate her craft. Yet he lands an opportunity to perform in a big band - the only problem is the music will be more upbeat pop funk jazz hybrid that will make him pretty good money but also take him away from his dreams to be the moody jazz pianist.
He sells out to get work - and she stays true to herself and finds no work.
This creates a schism and they have a very corny argument about creative direction. He does not understand what is wrong with him making money and traveling and being famous even if he truly knows that it sells out his dreams. She does not understand why she cannot get work even though she stays true to her dreams - and when her one woman show is a dud she decides to quit her dreams and move back home.
Our dashing hero feels awful and soon learns that she has one final audition that awaits and so he drives to her home in Nevada to tell her that she must return for one final audition. They travel back to LA - she sings at her audition - and she gets the role. Both have their own careers now - so they split up. Five years later - she is a famous movie star married with children and he has his own jazz club where he lives his dreams as a moody jazz pianist.
One night by happenstance - she stumbles into the club and finds him. He plays a solo piano song and she has a dream where their entire love affair is relived only all the choices which led to their separation are made differently and they stay together and have a family and discover their dreams as a couple. Suddenly, she understands what his words meant so long ago - about the history of jazz - the poetry of the musician - now everything comes full circle - and they have a longing final glance.
This is all cool - don't get me wrong. But the story itself has been told so many times its clichés are even clichéd. The songs and dialogue are very uneven and at times the film is incoherently stupid. Really - do young couples talk about why they would sell out their dreams to make thousands of dollars a month?
Also, the big red flag with the story is that the music simply is not very good. There is not one memorable song or dance in the entire film! Mostly the lights and costumes replace any real choreography or musical number with a unique visual cue. Also, Ryan Gosling is poorly cast as a jazz pianist. It just does not feel real at all that Gosling is so, so sad in LA with his poor dreams of being a jazz pianist so hard to recognize as he dates lovely women.
What exactly is the purpose of this film? What was everyone singing and dancing about? Do we live in a world where people can fly down to LA and pursue their dreams with a shot like yesteryear? Or do we live in a world where educational alliances, corporate oligarchy, family connections, and the occasional marriage - determine who gets to shine in the lights? Are we as a people supposed to rejoice that the song and dance of old Hollywood musicals had a tribute film made just in time for the Oscar season?
I dunno - this movie does have some strong moments in the script - and it does have some good acting - costumes - and lights - but I just think it's corny and I could not care less.