Boring, Actually

Rating: 3/10 (17 January 2017)

I'm giving this film a three for the opening scene. The rest was room temperature unsalted oatmeal. I tried to like Ryan and Emma's characters but they were empty vessels, partly due to bad writing and partly due to their lack of commitment to the roles. Ryan looked like he was about to soil his undies at any moment, whether because he was righteously defending his bachelorhood, or jazz - his go to expression appeared to be constipated. Emma, whose face looked oddly proportioned in tight close-ups was a wisp of a character, ungrounded, and therefore unbelievable. The aspirational lecturing about jazz and watching "Rebel Without a Cause" came across as pedantic. Overall, it all felt tepid and safe and soft-shoe i.e. no passion. I was bored and felt time weigh heavily on this film. The music was bland as well, dreamy, goopy, overly-sweet, generic, and also boring. I can't say I would ever be inclined to recommend this film to anyone, for any reason. It just never got going. I actually can't believe it won as many awards at the Golden Globes as it did. Now I understand why Ryan had such a look of surprise - or was it constipation? Who cares...