Jurassic Prank

Rating: 4/10 (5 March 2018)

Here we go again; bring out the big monster for yet another remake, reboot, sequel or whatever because we're out of ideas and it's obvious you can push the same piece of trash down your average moviegoer's throat again and again as long as you update a few bits here and there: lets see... crazy expedition leader pariah scientist who wants to redeem his name after years of mockery, check; crazy old goofy comic relief who's been too long in the jungle so he can introduce to you all the wonders and nightmares that await you, check; indigenous local goodhearted tribe brought out from National Geographic to stress the pure and unspoiled qualities of the environment, check; group of mindless simpletons who just want to disturb the ecosystem and blow up shit, check; Samuel l. Jackson, check (this guy will do literally anything for a paycheck); nerdy chatty scientist turned hero, check; chatty stereotypical Kevin Hart type, check; creepy white quiet soldier turned self sacrificing hero, check; pervy looking scientist turned gruesome pray, check; and of course adventurous dreamy-eyed, trendy, box office favorites main stars who instantly feel the connection with nature and are willing to give their lives to save a big scary gorilla, check; now push the timeline 50 years forward to Vietnam era so you can have the multiracial group, the stronger language and the big explosions and you're set. just need to choose which jungle or farm animals to enlarge this time and design a new evil dinosaury creature for kong to fight in the third act and you're good to go. yet another series of sudden pg13 deaths, yet another collection of empty stereotypical characters in yet another metaphor of how greedy progress and military force interfering with good old nature is bad and will ultimately be punished; so science fiction but not even decent science fiction nor entertaining for that matter unless you're 9 and this is your first "jurassic park" experience, in which case I would suggest you rent a jurassic park blu-ray and plug it in your home flat screen. Your money will be so much better spent. Still it's better than the 2005 version, but no quite a challenge there.