"You Guys Aren't Scientists"

Rating: 5/10 (11 March 2017)

After the complaints of Godzilla's presence being far too scarce in his own movie, you'd think Warner Bros and Legendary Entertainment would have resolved that by making King Kong the center of his own movie, right? Well, that's not entirely the case in Kong: Skull Island.
Originally titled Skull Island, this film feels much more like an exploration into the island itself than it does a King Kong film. With a run-time of 118 minutes, Kong maybe makes up about 25 minutes of that. To be fair, after several repetitive King Kong films, the franchise could use a refreshing take. But if you're going to make a King Kong film, you expect to see the giant ape more than some random humans. So, that's the first major issue.
The second, and perhaps far more important, is that the script is downright awful. Even worse, the tone is all over the place. I expected that this film was going to take itself as seriously as the 2014 Godzilla film did, especially after several trailers that were clearly trying to emulate Apocalypse Now. What we got is more along the lines of the humor from a Fast & Furious movie that tries to veer into the seriousness of a DCEU film. Except, the humor never hits. My theater was packed, and not a single joke granted a crowd- wide laugh.
However, the film is beautifully shot by Larry Fong and the action is impossible to take your eyes away from. Kong has never looked better, and the final fight between him and other creatures is about as impressive of an action sequence as you'll see all year. But Is it really a shock that every second Kong is on-screen is great and every time they cut to a human that you don't care about, the film dull and boring? When you have the likes of Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, Brie Larson, John Goodman, Jason Mitchell, and Toby Kebbell there should be at least one character worth rooting for, right?
Well, as it turns out, John C. Reilly's 'Hank Marlow' is the only redeemable character worth mentioning. Hiddleston is useless, Jackson is way too over-the-top, Kebbell & Mitchell are annoying, and Larson is merely passable. I like all of these actors, but they got stuck with sloppily written characters that are far from fleshed out. Perhaps cutting out 5 or 6 of the leads and giving that screen time to either Kong, or to add depth to the more significant roles.
I'm still invested in this "monster-verse" because I, like everyone else in the world, can't wait to see Kong & Godzilla duke it out for the "King" title in a few years. But pushing aside the main attraction for some good looking actors isn't what I want from a monster film. The thrills are a little too few and far in between. So for me, Kong: Skull Island is a big letdown.
+Gorgeous to look at
+Kong impresses
-When he's on screen
-Waste of an extremely talented cast
-Awful script
5.7/10