Twasn't Beauty that killed the Beast

Rating: 7/10 (27 March 2017)

From the people who were able to make a Godzilla movie with only 11 minutes of Godzilla, comes another reboot of cinemas other most iconic monsters, King Kong. Kong: Skull Island is directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts and stars Tom Hiddleston, Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson, John Goodman, John C. Reilly and the list goes on and on and on. It's a solid blockbuster film but lacks any and all kinds of emotional engagement.
This reboot is not the classic empire-state-building-finale Kong everyone has come to know the giant gorilla by, but instead tells a rather self contained adventure story. Due to the nature of this narrative, the film is going to require a lot of CGI, prosthetic and anything and everything that can help bring monsters to life. I have to hand it to them, the films visuals are spot on, the visual effects as well as production design and cinematography, come together perfectly to make what is a very good looking movie.
The action sequences as well are well shot and edited and enjoyment is easy to be had, my own personal favourite scene involves giant skeletons/fossils, flammable soil and a digesting Camera. Need I say more. It's a very well directed scene and features a very interesting hint of the horror genre.
Although the film looks good and has well directed scenes, the film lacks a lot of substance as it doesn't have any developed characters at all, bar the exception of John C. Reilly. The film features an all star cast and distributes screen time as evenly as it can between them. Regardless, no one is given enough time for the audience to form an attachment with, and so everyone feels extremely disposable. Anyone, including Tom Hiddleston and Brie Larson, could have died and I wouldn't have given a single f*ck. Personally, Tom Hiddleston was wrongly cast in this film, or needs to drop his natural posh boy voice, and put on American accent or anything remotely macho if he is to play the archetypal masculine hero role. This is a King Kong film so really the protagonist should be King f*cking Kong. Although the lack of focus on the title character isn't as bad as the Gareth Edwards Godzilla movie, it is however frustrating to have to follow the story of a bunch of disposable humans I don't care for.... It's Aaron Taylor Johnson all over again. Also I can't not talk about the Asian girl who was just there for God knows what reason, as well as Toby Kebbell's character being a walking, talking, eulogy writing cliché.
As well as having sh*tty characters, Kong: Skull Island has some pretty dumb moments, some of which are absolutely laugh out loud dumb. It's not 'The Fast and the Furious' level of dumb, but the film is stupid to progress the plot. One moment in particular, involving a lake, a rifle being dropped and a guy with two grenades, is just on a completely different level of dumb that I couldn't contain my laughter.
Overall, Kong: Skull Island has great style but zero substance. Visually stunning and well shot and directed action sequences, but focuses on uninteresting characters and is dumb for the sake of plot progression. It's an enjoyable, average blockbuster that subtly sets up a sequel and leaves you with anticipation for the second ever Godzilla vs Kong in 2020. Fingers crossed Legendary get it right.