Fast forward the talking bits maybe

Rating: 1/10 (14 July 2017)

This film is abysmal. I watched it on a plane so it was free but I still feel robbed.
Kong himself is ace. Top CGI. But he interacts with these two dimensional human actors; who are phoning it in so much they probably had to pay international dial rates. The humans are awful. The characters'arcs are pretty much non existent. There's a white woman who photographs everything and everyone likes it's a Conde Naste shoot. Especially galling are the scenes of her teaching the indigenous tribes people (who are straight up composites of every National Geographic photoset ever) how to do peace signs, obviously they nail it first time. But that nausea-inducing scene gets a close run for its money when the soldiers lower their guns only for her to raise her camera. It's really schmaltzy stuff. But she is not alone.
The English guy with the cheekbones has some lines I had to rewind to check I'd heard right (I had). He was terrible. Lots of very strong arm movements and at one point he runs through a cloud of toxic gas chopping up flying killer birds with a borrowed Japanese officers sword. He nails them every single time. Thankfully they all fly straight at him rather than from multiple angles. It's the kinda scene where you roll your eyes and wonder what the story board session was like.
Samuel L Jackson is alright. Not sure why his character is so unhinged. I think he's meant to have PTSD. It doesn't really work. His guys are just fodder for the CGI beasts. You don't get to care about any of them so they go from humans to splats or get munched and you just shrug. Which is an odd part of the film: there is a lot of gore. Like really gruesome deaths. Interspersed with some physics defying actions by the humans. I did chuckle that the CGI appeared more rooted in physical reality than the actors.
Then there is the boat made from old aeroplanes. I'm gonna leave that out there. Cos it's batshit crazy.
If you skip the dialogue and watch the CGI you have a watchable short film. But as a feature? Nope. It's terrible.