Going Ape

Rating: 5/10 (11 March 2017)

(RATING: ☆☆½ out of 5)
GRADE: C
THIS FILM IS MILDLY RECOMMENDED.
IN BRIEF: Kong's back...bigger and duller.
JIM'S REVIEW: "Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, Beauty and"...wait a second...that's the wrong beast movie! Hmm...let's try again..."Is that a monkey?"...Yeah, now we have the right beauty and her beast tale. This remake, newly titled Kong: Skull Island, has no real love story or any remote emotional connection. Beauty does not kill the beast in this update. No, instead, we have boredom that kills the moviegoer.
While the CGI is very well done, especially the immaculate detailing of matted fur and expressive eyes on our big silly ape, other features are sorely missing, like believable characters, a plot that makes sense, action sequences that build tension, dialog that sounds authentic. Would that the filmmakers had spent more energy and effort on a convincing script, the film could have at least been entertaining. It just wastes everyone's time.
The King Kong legend dates back to 1933, with numerous remakes (including the vastly superior one by Peter Jackson in 2005). But our reboot begins in 1943 until it fast forwards to 1973. The plot (as before) involves a group of explorers who venture onto a primitive island filled with monsters, historic beasts, and a big galoot of a gorilla. This time, however, Kong rules over the island (sans the King, because no one likes a monarchy anymore). Not only is our ape "as big as a building", he is literally a treehugger who cares about ecological balance. When he feasts his eyes on the lovely Mason Weaver (Brie Larson, a poor-man's substitute for Fay Wray), there is no love interest. It's more of a mutual admiration society, as if she is an active member in PETA.
While no animals were injured in the making of this film, several fine actors have certainly damaged their reputations. Such talented actors like Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, John Goodman, Shea Whigham, and the aforementioned Ms. Larson, are wasted in their underdeveloped roles. Only John C. Reilly succeeds in making his character interesting.
Besides the fine special effects, the only other redeeming feature is the stunning cinematography by Larry Fong that does impress, although his photography aligns itself too frequently to Francis Ford Coppola's Apocalypse Now with its wartime imagery of whirling helicopters and red-lit skies. But one has to admire that he set the bar high for his goal.
The direction by Jordan Vogt-Roberts is not that lofty. It is merely adequate. He stages the action scenes well enough but relies too heavily with a 1970's pop soundtrack that overstates everything. All seems rote and predictable. The dangers the characters face are not the least exciting as there is no build-up or tension. His pacing of the film is off-kilter. (The film takes a good half hour even before the mission begins.)
However, the majority of the blame goes to its rightful source, the screenplay-by-committee team of Dan Gilroy, Max Borenstein, and Derek Connolly. They strand the actors on the island with banal conversation, long tedious exposition, and stock characters. (At one point, the travelers are warned about the giant ants on this isle, but they never make an appearance in this misguided adventure/fantasy. Nary a crumb in sight.)
Kong: Skull Island is just not a very enjoyable movie experience. The CGI holds your interest momentarily, but there are no real scares or thrills in this monster movie. This Kong may be a lot bigger, but it's not a whole lot better.