Really, really just terrible.

Rating: 1/10 (11 March 2017)

I am not a movie snob and am easily entertained, but this movie was absolutely a complete and utter joke. It felt like a 3rd grader wrote the script. It contained every single cliché imaginable, from corny Platoon/Apocalypse Now-type one-liners to ridiculous slow-motion "sacrifice" scenes-- all incredibly cheap, contrived and void of any depth what-so-ever.
Absolutely NO PLOT-- not a single tangible, well-built contextual plot exists in this movie. John C. Reilly was the whole point of the movie-- it should be called "King Reilly and His Adventures"-- but then again, there really weren't any adventures to talk about...
The worst part of the movie was that I could absolutely not tell when the movie was supposed to be serious or a comedic parody, and folks, that's never a good sign, as it usually means the film is not good. And Samuel L. Jackson?? I think I just might use his appearance in future films as cause to not see them because he is clearly cast for his popularity and for a quick marketing boost for films that clearly need that extra kick. I am going to binge-watch King Kong (2005) with Jack Black until I can forget that I ever saw this new attempted failure to reprise Kong. Have our standards really fallen so far?? I honestly do not think there was a single frame that lasted longer than 2 seconds, I am not joking. Oh, the agony.