What did I just watch???

Rating: 1/10 (7 April 2017)

Hey. You wanna see this movie? I can write it out for you and you will literally get the same experience as watching it. Ready?
Kong: Skull Island
*Opening credits*
*Introduce characters and story as fast as possible, with no back story, making sure you don't care about them at all*
*Bad dialogue*
*Unbelievably cliché Vietnam era music plays*
*Bad dialogue*
*Unbelievably cliché Vietnam era music plays*
*Some shot that adds literally nothing to the movie*
*Bad dialogue*
*Random slow motion shot for no reason*
*cliché music*
"Who are these people?? What? Why? Hold on wait...what? Helicopters can fly through hurricanes? Why isn't any rain getting inside? The doors are open...whoa. There's king kong. He totally just took down a helicopter. We should probably fly higher..since hes only like 100 feet tall...and we are in helicopters? No? Well OK I guess..."
*pew pew pew...booooom. pew pew*
*ROAR SMASH*
*slow motion as cliché music plays*
*lots of bad dialogue and stuff that doesn't make any sense*
*comic relief*
*bad dialogue in slow motion*
*pew pew pew boom boom people die pew pew in slow motion as crappy music plays*
*plot and story that makes no sense*
*pew pew boom roar smash ending fight*
*credits*
FIN
An absolute masterpiece. 10/10. Would rather scratch my eye balls out with rusty nails.