N.a.b.r.m.

Rating: 4/10 (7 November 2010)

Not Another Biblical Remake Movie.
Yes, ladies n gents, we're once again having a go at subtle bible infiltration of the American Film Industry. Last time it was Signs, today it's Knowing.
Nick Cage stars in another phenomenal example of his lack of acting skill (his father's a director, maybe he should try that direction instead), with a mush-mash of other people no one's ever wanted to hear about because they suck too.
Plot goes as such: 50 years back a little girl puts a cryptic message into a elementary school's Time Capsule. Nick's kid gets hold of it in the now time, sending him into a sort of A Perfect Mind state, whereby he divulges the numbers as dates, locations and (GASP) body counts for every disaster for the past 50 years, right up to a plane crash that happens dead in front of him. Being a hero type, he tries to warn the feds of the next one, but he was slightly off-target, and ends up watching a subway mess itself up. The final disaster he figures out from something he "hypothesized" about solar flares. A super flare, intent on roasting little old earth, as well as Mercury and Venus... But screw those planets, we're not there, are we? Anyway, while all this is going down, his kid and the kid of a lady they hook up with (apparently the 50-years-back-little-girl's daughter) are being "spoken to... in our minds." Long to short there, they're being contacted by aliens, they have been chosen, Nick hasn't. Oh yeah, the other lady gets own'd by a semi as she chases after the aliens, having kidnapped the kids. Watch the movie for details on that little series of events. End of the movie and we learn the aliens didn't pick Nick but the two kids and two fluffy white bunnies, thus leaving you to figure out the obvious true plot line: NOAH'S ARK!!! The aliens leave from multiple points on the planet, and Nick returns to whats left of civilization, now ruined because the military had to open it's big mouth about the solar flare coming. LETS START A RIOT! Nick is reunited and reconnects with his pastor father as Sol turns the world into an overcooked hush puppy. The kids and the bunnies, meanwhile are deposited on a planet elsewhere in the universe that from the looks of it is PERFECT. Eden- much?
The only reason this movie gets rated as high as I did is it has A) great world ending effects at the climax, and B) The world gets roasted like dinner on Xmas.
In truth, I might have given the movie a better rating if they'd come right out at the beginning and said this is a Bible Story movie. At least they'd have won points for honesty.