If we're born knowing, it's high time we start forgetting this movie

Rating: 3/10 (30 April 2009)

For the better part of "Knowing", the space aliens all look more or less like David Bowie. That's not such a bad choice for an alien where I come from. But once it gets serious and they start snatching earthlings, they mutate to look exactly like aliens in any other mainstream movie: cheap-trick, see-through, half-baked luminous creatures who happen to be human in both shape and size. Also, they drive a Mazda. Maybe aliens are enlightened in ways we can only speculate about. The story, a messy mash-up of "A Beautiful Mind" and "Contact", is too trashy to even discuss. Bloggers tell me "Knowing" is a Scientology vehicle. If that's true, I feel for Ron Hubbard. Moses, Jesus, Mohammed, Shiva and The Flying Spaghetti Monster all have better ground staff doing their books and movies. So why does a smart and serious fellow like Nicolas Cage keep appearing in stuff like this? It must be that medieval castle he bought and never lived in. Patchy roof, tumbling walls, leaky well, you know the score. Or maybe, unlike the aliens, he doesn't want the Mazda. He wants the Maserati.