Sickening, Grotesque, Awful, and Disgusting Waste of Time and Money!!!

Rating: 1/10 (28 June 2007)

Do not spend your $8 or $10 on this movie. Save it for gas money. Do not rent it. Do not add it to your Netflix or Blockbuster queues. Do not buy it at a yard sale for 50 cents. Do not even acknowledge that it exists. Be ashamed that you are even looking it up on here because this movie is hideous. It is one of the worst movies I have seen in many, many years.
After hearing how "outrageously funny" this movie was both from acquaintances and on the Ellen Degeneres show, I was at least curious to see it -- to find out about all the hype for myself. I (stupidly) invited some co-workers to see this movie and sat in horror for seemingly never-ending minutes watching an essential soft-core porn flick slap me in my face with vulgarity, obscenity, and sexual insult.
I was absolutely mortified to watch this movie with my friends on either side. I was made so uncomfortable by the never-ending use of the F*** word, the totally tasteless, not at all held back sex scenes, and the nauseating dialogue used to insult people or to refer to body parts. I am no idiot. I know these words exist -- I know people use them -- I know it is Hollywood -- I know some people just don't care or don't let it bother them -- I know some would say I should lighten up and just stay at home reading my Bible or something -- but this was ridiculous. I can tolerate cursing. I can tolerate sex scenes. I do plenty of both of those things myself in my life. But this movie was constant, extreme cases of both to the point that I was breaking out in cold sweats and wanting to leave the theater. I have never been this uncomfortable in a film... never.
And the "outrageous funny" parts... well, let's just say I am still wondering where they were. Two... that's right... only two one-minute scenes tops made me chuckle. I was almost embarrassed to even find them funny considering how horrendous the rest of the movie was.
If you are a parent, do not (do not) (do not) (do not) let your teenage child watch this movie if you can help it. It is nothing I even wanted to see myself -- I would never want it to influence a minor. It's awful. It's awful. And, while I'm at it, it's awful.
Please do me a favor and go see "The Waitress" with Felicity or I mean Kerri Russell for a much better movie experience.