please, make these films stop...

Rating: 2/10 (15 December 2007)

Any thoughts of Apatow becoming the 2000's version of John Hughes -- several top-flight projects over a short period -- is pretty much officially dead. Sure, the prolific stream of scripts cranked out is there, but the quality? Hoo, man, not even remotely close.
In what seems like his umpteenth telling of a group of one-track minded slacker idiots, we're treated to yet another underdeveloped hero who we'd never associate with in real life. This time it's the candidate for worst new leading man of cinema Rogan and the results of an utterly unlikely one night stand. He spins his wheels, trying to cope with his new predicament, all the while immersing himself as yet another failure to the "just say no" program. But let's get to the real issues here...
1. An absolute lack of chemistry between the leads. Heigl is totally unlikable as a one-note, demanding career woman, who garners zero sympathy for her moodswings....and that's before the hormones kick in! And Rogen, if I have to listen to that stoned-out, grating cackle of his one more time, I'll beg for my death.
2. The supporting couple who annoy even more, Mann as an unbearable whine-machine, and Rudd in another one his sleep-walking roles as a hapless guru of life (who sneaks off to fantasy baseball meetings?? What in the living hell???).
3. People complimenting Apatow's ability to touch on "those sensitive and telling true-to-life comments about marriage and children". Uhhh, when a majority of the characters are portrayed as not even slightly lovable, the pithy ruminations on their lives come off as false and unaffecting. Are these people you'd really want to spend one hour with??
3. A tired, tired, TIRED screenplay approach where F-bombs and female anatomy discussions that seem so painfully forced, not containing a shred of reality to them.
4. And the frigging ENDLESS pop culture references that just magnify that absence of creativity at the screenplay level. I watch movies to live through the lives of the characters, NOT to listen, and listen, and listen ad naseum to their ridiculously stupid amount of movie and music mentions. The infamous comparisons to the bearded buddy character alone were enough to elicit groans and a swirling head from me.
Unfortunately, what made Freaks and Geeks so good to Apatow, is what's killing his film work: the freedom and ability to rely *strictly* on near NC-17, bodily and gross-out humor. The restraints of television actually caused him to -- gasp! -- write competently and engagingly. But after the "Anchormans" and "Virgins" and now this slop (plus the fact those and this were hits) sadly signals a trend he'll probably leave on his tombstone.