Takes the biscuit

Rating: 3/10 (4 December 2019)

The most unfortunate thing about this film is that it is not so much of a turkey that you don't flounce out of the cinema half way through like you ought to. Daniel Craig is seriously miscast as the all-knowing and complicit detective. How, ffs, are we to take this piece that mixes outright ridiculous scenarios - e.g. a privately employed PI telling the real law what to do, when etc. We have caricature cardboard cutouts of murder-mystery stereotypes, dreadful script and extremely poor plotting. We are left looking at all the gewgaws and other props that don't seem to have any significance or interest value to the characters. Two giant eyeballs on sticks, for example? We have the servant good, employer bad shtick given the modern racist wash but we've had enough of that laundry. Frankly, the whole enterprise is a bore-a-thon. If it was supposed to be funny, that went right over my head. Jokes normally make me laugh. This joke of a film left me dozing.