Thank God I did not pay for this

Rating: 2/10 (4 August 2015)

I had the misfortune to watch this movie on a plane.
Seeing that it has a rating of 7.9, which is dangerously close to what movies in the top 250 of all time rate, I felt an urge to write a review and contribute to redress this score.
Despite the prestigious cast, the movie is exceptionally low on everything. I don't mind violence when it's part of the drama (or the suspension of belief), so I don't think that violence takes anything away from the movie. The problem is that there is almost nothing to take away.
The story is appalling, the characters are cringe-worthy, the only enjoyable thing is Colin Firth's suit (but the same suit fitting a youngster with half the class of Firth is looking actually quite poor), the humour is dadsjokesque, and the ending is, to be generous, atrocious. I also found a lot of crass ignorance and obtuse projection of its fictional world. As if we needed obtuse fictional worlds.
What about the performances? Argh! I think Jack Davenport's is the best, but only because he does not get enough time on screen to spoil it. Michael Caine holds water, barely, better not to talk about the rest.
If you put 007 on one side and Austin Powers on the other, this movie is located precisely in the trash bin, where it should stay.