More Austin Powers than James Bond

Rating: 5/10 (20 September 2017)

Some people may assume the title of this review is an insult, but I would say there are equal parts positive and negative in this. Bond has become a laboured, sombre affair in recent years and though those films are still a quality product there is little fun to be had. Step in Kingsman - a high-octane, largely brainless British spy film that might lack the grit of Bond, but is infinitely more enjoyable. I watched this film with a perpetual grimace of disapproval at the cliché-riddled plot (a global super-villain with a lair; the protagonist being unusually proficient at driving and parkour before any of his training, despite being a no-hoper street youth; the mentor fast-tracking the protégé into a role of prominence against the odds etc...) yet... I carried on watching. I wanted to see what happened next despite the lack of originality because the film is paced well and holds your attention. The fight scenes are unnecessarily slow-motioned almost to a point of bending time infinitely, but they are also violent in a way many films are afraid to be for fear of bumping up their certificate and infringing on the profit margin. The Austin Powers ridiculousness of this movie was cemented in the closing minutes as Eggsy is rewarded for his heroics with the chance to engage in anal sex with a princess while Mark Strong has to watch and keep the engine running. Yep, that actually happens... but in fairness, it actually makes the rest of the film seem palatable in hindsight.