bloated, boring, banal

Rating: 1/10 (14 July 2007)

Kurosawa apparently thought a two second swordfight was more interesting than a twenty minute swordfight. I think any two seconds of Toshiro Mifune eating rice is more interesting than the two ninety minute swordfights called KILL BILL.
I enjoy violent movies, and violence generally, and I am in fact a violent person. But this is art, and you have to earn it. Spectacle is a fine thing, but it's a matter of taste. What entertainment value I may derive from watching a pregnant woman shot in the head, or hearing about her years of comatose anal rape, this movie does not offer.
Masturbation is by definition a waste of time, and can be identified and judged categorically without regard to taste. Colored lights do not a pretty picture make; switching from black & white to color, to Japornimation, does not a story tell; and the occasional witty line about sodomy does not this viewer amuse for three hours. With cluttered shots, redundant supporting characters, tired story lines, gaudy and extraneous sets and costumes, spasmodic editing, and protagonists lacking in basic dynamics, KILL BILL kills itself but not fast enough.