Tasteless and tedious - a real let down

Rating: 3/10 (2 February 2005)

Fade inClankity clank, bang, bang, bang, swear, clank, ping, swear, twirl, swizzle, swear, pan in slow motion, clank, clank, clankity clank, clang, bang, frown, swear, bang, bang, BOOM! (Funky music with opening credits) Clankity clank, bang, bang, bang, swear, clank, ping, swear, twirl, swizzle, swear, pan in slow motion, clank, clank, clankity clank, clang, bang, frown, swear, bang, bang, BOOM, swear, swear, stare moodily into the distance, clang, band BOOM! Repeat repeat repeat repeat Fade out.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is it. To say that the Kill Bill lacks depth is a bit like saying that dogs lack table manners or the primordial swamp lacks a good opera company. To say that it's a bit tasteless and tacky is a bit like saying Californians need to sit voting exams.
I fear Kill Bill proves only two things. Never assume that just because a man has made three great films he is not capable of something as crass as this. Secondly, never, ever listen to Uma Thurman when she says she has a great idea for a film. 3/10