you gotta be kidding. I bet you like shiny objects too

Rating: 4/10 (12 August 2006)

I saw Kill Bill for the first time tonight. Time for me to do my part in informing my small sampling of the population within my email grasp of a few points: That is the weakest most pathetic excuse for a kung fu flick I have EVER seen, and I have seen a lot of kung fu movies. Absolutely pathetic fight scenes. PATHETIC and a mockery of all that is quality Asian fighting. After hearing so many people tell me that it was such a great movie for so long now, I have decided that from this point forward anyone and everyone that ever even hints at telling me that it has actual "kung fu" quality to it will personally offend me since they obviously have no idea what a real kung fu flick is (see: ANY Jackie Chan, Jet Li, or even some Bruce Lee movies, and just about any old kung fu rerun on some bad cable channel is better). Why personally offend me? Because if you insist on Kill Bill's kung fu quality I am sorry but I find it insulting to my own selection of associates that I would actually hang out with people of such 1) high ignorance and/or 2) poor taste.
To add to that, in case you are swept away by pop-culture mass-thinking and mass-conformity as most of the general population is, let me also point out that * the cinematography was only average and above so in maybe 10% of the movie at most, and that's me being very generous, * the acting was mediocre to average, only occasionally reaching above average, * the casting was just OK, * the over-abundance of gratuitous violence is like dumping the whole bottle of cologne or perfume on oneself instead of the appropriate dab, * and lastly, the only redeeming values to it were 1)the plot, 2) the soundtrack (pretty good, even though any potentially decent fight scene was completely wrecked by poorly selected corresponding tracks), and 3) the sword-making Japanese guy, who was very very cool.
I thought I would let you all know since apparently this type of drivel has been media-hyped enough to have taken advantage of those unfamiliar with higher levels of quality movies (see: Hero or Iron Monkey or Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) and tricked most people with its childish flash into using it as some sort of benchmark. If you don't agree, fine. But I suggest you go catch some real kung fu before you come to a "conclusion".
yeah, some people don't like me. i'm OK with that since I'm right and they're wrong.