Kill *Me*...

Rating: Null/10 (22 June 2004)

Your typical overstylized, bloodsoaked Tarantino talk-fest is sure to wow some but make others fall asleep. Upon awakening from a four-year coma induced by a gunshot to the head, does Thurman rehibilitate? No, she flies all over the world slicing and dicing about two-hundred people, including those responsible for her near death. I enjoyed the first ten minutes, which actually contained a little realism (something lacking in any Tarantino effort). Then there's dialogue lulls, an endless Japanimation sequence, sword battles resulting in more dead bodies than any "Friday the 13th" film, and those patented, asinine kinds of lines only read in a Tarantino film. "When do you want to die, b*tch?", "Silly rabbitt, Trix are for..." (other character finishes) "...kids." Again, the first few minutes seemed grounded in at least a bit of reality. Unfortunately this is followed by people flying and severed limbs that shoot gallons of blood while the victim rolls and screams and one person killing an army of men....enough. At least cheesefests like "American Ninja" kept the hero somewhat able to be doing what he was doing. Here Thurman so effortlessly hacks away at people in live-action video game style that you just roll your eyes. It is far, far too long after the fact of The Matrix and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. But again, Tarantino's fans (and sadly bandwagon critics) will feel this big-budget studio horror film should take away an arm full of Oscars.