Flawed, but loved it anyway (spoilers ahead)

Rating: 9/10 (23 October 2003)

So anyway, I went in2 the cinema frankly expecting to be let down by a director who had nothing else to say - hence his exile since '94 (I'm not counting the woeful "Jackie Brown" since I can't stand Elmore Leonard anyway, so NOBODY could've made a good job of his material IMO). However, days later I'm thinking obsessively about this movie in a way I haven't experienced SINCE "Pulp Fiction", so I guess it blew me away - but with some pretty big "but"s thrown in there too, so I'll get those out of the way first (and lest I rant and rave overly long, keep in mind that I basically thought that this film was awesome):
First, the whole "one-long-movie-cut-into-two" thing. In this respect I agree with most of the critics who didn't like the movie; James Berardinelli bemoans it as "half a movie that goes on too long", and he's bang on. From what I can gather, QT wanted to make an unashamed "grindhouse" movie, so the simplistic plot, stylised action sequences and campy grue can all be fully justified, yet I'm positive that some sterner editing could've squeezed the entire thing into one three-hour long movie that would've been much closer to QT's vision. In particular, the Sonny Chiba scenes could've been cut down to maybe a fifth or sixth of what they were (and it seems I'm in a minority here; everyone else appears to be hailing Chiba's scenes as the best in the movie). Basically, the plot for these sequences is: The Bride goes to Japan to get a kitana sword from a master craftsman. Now, it's okay for these scenes to play out for a while if what I just described is no more than a basic synopsis of what is actually a much richer tapestry (you know; girl goes to get sword, but then THIS happens, then THAT happens, and so she now has to do THIS, THIS and THAT just to get back to the sword etc. etc.), but there is no more depth to it (and rightly so in a film of this nature). "The Bride goes to Japan to get a kitana sword from a master craftsman" is not a basic synopsis of that segment of the film, it's ALL THAT HAPPENS. Yet it goes on and on and on and on... why? I suspect because of QT's naked adoration of Sonny Chiba. The first scene from these sequences is apparantly a "comic relief" moment, with The Bride pretending to be no more than an innocent tourist, Chiba and his partner arguing at length in Japanese about who gets to cut the sushi and who gets to make the tea. Yet given that a) The Bride makes her true intentions clear before this scene has ended (thus making her "disguise" utterly redundant) and b) the "comedic" exchanges between Chiba and his buddy were about as humourous as being run over, this entire scene was a waste of time. It felt like one of those deleted scenes that you see on DVDs all the time. Another scene that could've easily been cut at least by half and probably by considerably more was that whole anime sequence. Now, it could be 'cos I'm just not a fan of anime, but I doubt it since I also understand that that sequence wouldn't have gotten past the censors if shot "live", and it's an interesting enough back-story, but still, for my money, it was WAY. TOO. LONG. There are also a few other smaller scenes that could've done with some more prudent snipping - The Bride crying (and crying, and crying, and crying!) upon waking from her coma and realising her baby was gone; yes, very traumatic, and I'm sure worth every second were this a real-time project, but it isn't, and WE GET IT ALREADY! MOVE ON!, and the whole "Wiggle your big toe" bit. Snore. The more worrying problem with this precedent for turning one film into two in order to protect the integrity of the director's original vision (so Miramax's blurb goes) is that now every1 will do it, and we'll all forever be paying £13 to watch rough cuts of movies that could've been much tighter and half the price (if the integrity of Tarantino's vision is all that mattered to Miramax, why didn't they give free tickets to "Volume 2" away with every ticket sold for "Volume 1", and compensate the cinemas out of their own pockets, hmm?)
Second (and last, actually - remember, despite my ranting, I actually LOVE this film) - the subtitling. Now, I have no problem watching a foreign film, I'm not bothered that half the movie is in Japanese with subtitles; in fact, for the purposes of authenticity, I hate any other option BUT subtitling (you know, like in "Hunt For Red October", where all the Russians talk to each other in English, but with Russian accents. Dreadful, shameful). However, in this movie, half the subtitling is entirely UNnecessary. Consider for instance the Sonny Chiba sequences mid-movie; Chiba's character establishes early on that he speaks fluent English, yet as soon as The Bride reveals the true nature of her visit, they speak from that moment on in Japanese. Why?!? I suppose that one could argue that since it's also established that The Bride speaks fluent Japanese that it's just as likely that they'd speak Japanese as English (although I'd have believed more in a Han Solo/Chewbacca-style dialogue in which each person speaks in their own tongue), but consider also that this is a western-made movie which will make most of it's money from English-speaking audiences, and it would've been perfectly acceptable for these scenes to be spoken in English. Worse still are the exchanges between The Bride and O-Ren Ishii. Both protagonists are apparently American, so why are they speaking to each other in Japanese? Personally, I'd have been perfectly happy - given that QT was trying to replicate about a billion chop-socky b-movies - if he'd replaced ALL the foreign dialogue with some deliberately bad dubbing, though I admit that's not so much a criticism as a personal thing that would've been okay by me.
All that said, I thought the rest of the movie was a blast, exceeding my expectations all over the place. The blood is NOT over-the-top and it is DELIBERATELY unrealistic in order to fit into the genre of films that QT is paying homage to. Ditto the sometimes-jarring, quite often too-loud soundtrack, the eye close-ups, the pauses to introduce each principal bad-guy (Deadly Viper Assassination Squad Member: Vernita Green a.k.a. Copperhead), or the obligatory Japanese schoolgirl, Go Go Yubari (some reviewer who just didn't get it was wondering what perverted mind thought that character up; personally, I can't think of any piece of modern Asian pop-culture that DOESN'T include a schoolgirl. And anyway, isn't she just the best thing in the film?)... God, I thought that waiting for "Matrix: Revolutions" or, more pertinantly, "Star Wars: Episode 3" was bad enough; I'm finding myself having to fight the urge to have a churlish hissy-fit of foot-stamping and pouting at the thought of having to wait 'til February for "Volume 2"...
Oh, and I'd forgotten how quickly you can fall in love with Uma Thurman if you allow yourself to get lost in her eyes. Thanks Quentin, now I'm dissatisfied with my lot in life all over again...:-)