Too short

Rating: Null/10 (21 October 2003)

You don't need a description of the plot. You don't need to hear about how it's been released in two volumes. You could certainly happily, no, joyfully live the rest of your life without ever hearing Kill Bill Vol.1 described as a cinematic 'homage', 'movie-movie', or any of the other scripted answers to scripted questions that Quentin Tarantino has sadly been forced to repeat endlessly. You most definitely are no longer interested in the phallic symbolism of Samurai swords or Uma Thurman's tracksuit. What is it that you really need to know? How will it make you feel? If you're anything like me, from the second you hear the siren wail as The Bride looks into Vernita Green's eyes, you will be entranced. Your muscles will tense but when you notice you no longer care. Any aches and pains will seem mere memories, shadows of what they were earlier that day. Your eyes leap from one end of the screen to the other, the human muscles incapable of keeping up with the speed on screen. You frequently see actions only as consequence; you were too busy reeling from the last scene to register Uma's sword movement when she chopped that writhing body to pieces. Unable to keep still, you may start tapping a couple of fingers or biting your lip; by this time you will be perched on the edge of your cinema seat, craning forward to immerse yourself in the House of Blue Leaves, jerking back when Gogo descends a staircase swinging a lethal ball and chain. Just as you feel you will never leave the cinema, when you reach the point that, if questioned, you would swear allegiance to The Bride and follow her trail of revenge blindly till your dying day, it ends. It's not enough, you are still tensed like an animal ready to attack. People around you start talking and, like a sick joke, you are hurtled back to the reality of a burgundy plastic seat with a slice in the cushioning. I know nothing about all these Kung-Fu films that Tarantino has been referencing - I can't even remember the name of the company who made the aforementioned siren sound their trademark a few decades ago. I have never watched a Samurai film before, but if that was just a homage, my God, I'm going to start.