If my conscience took a holiday, maybe I'd enjoy it more.

Rating: 4/10 (28 June 2010)

I'll do my best not to attack the film; those that have seen it know it attacks plenty on its own.
From the opening scenes, two things become clear: 1) that this will be a dark comedy, and 2) you're in no danger of being bored. The protagonist's story begins in Dave Lizewski, a high school un-nerdy nerd (a relatable nobody). He desires to be somebody, and he's a comic book fan. Stir those with a sense of altruism and a scuba suit and you've got Kick-Ass, the un-super hero (now a relatable but comical nobody). When he first takes crime fighting action against two men slim-jimming a car, reality strikes.
But then, unreality strikes. Hit Girl is the 'real deal'. She's an eleven-year-old cold-blooded murderer, I mean...super-hero. Brainwashed by Big Daddy (Nick Cage), she's every bit as sympathizing as a malignant tumor. While played well by Chloe Moretz, I couldn't bring myself to laugh at her glorified ass-kicking scenes reminiscent of a Kill Bill bloodbath. Is a brainwashed, violent, albeit gifted little girl chiming "what a douche" really comical? Entertaining? OK, sure. Spoiler warning: Wait 'til she's nearly beaten to death.
People seem to praise it's original, satirical and "pure entertainment" value. It certainly doesn't make me feel pure if a little girl version of The Bride in Kill Bill is meant to entertain me. A spoiler to it's originality: The nerd getting the gorgeous girl never ceases to "entertain" me. Nailing the English teacher would have been more plausible. In one redeeming scene, fully scuba-dressed Kick-Ass finds a lost cat posting and shamelessly takes the matter into his own hands. Now there's a real super hero.