Sucks-Ass

Rating: 1/10 (19 April 2010)

Oh dear, where do I begin?!
Chances are that you'll only enjoy this sorry excuse for a "movie" if you are no older than 12 years old or have a thing for a 11 year old girl dressing up like a cheap hooker, from the bad make-up to the awful purple wig.
This "movie" sucks from beginning to end, a complete waste of nearly 2 hours of your life!
For a start there are no big stars in this "movie" apart from Nicolas Cage who looks ridiculous with the moustache and must be regretting getting involved in such a pile of trash.
I can't believe how many people have given this "movie" a good review. They must all either be idiots who get a kick from seeing 11 year old girls saying the "C word" and fighting fully grown men or actually all be pre-teens who managed to sneak in to see it with fake I.D.s
The high age certification for this "movie" is correct due to the obscene language and over top fight scenes which contain a lot of violence and gore, mostly done at the hands of the 11 year old character of "Hit Girl". However this means that the only audience who would put up with the flaws and holes in this "movie" are too young to see it!
Hundreds of Clichés and stolen lines from far greater movies are found in abundance, from the robbing of the classic Scarface line "Say hello to my little friend!" to the typical "guy gets girl" tripe that seems so frequent in movies nowadays.
None of the Super Heroes featured in this "movie" have any special powers but are more based on the Batman style of crime fighter. A vital plot flaw that is called into question when "Hit Girl"(the 11 year old foul mouthed "super hero") has a one-on-one fight with the big boss man and he kicks her very hard in the face. She pretty much shakes it straight off as if it was nothing. If a young girl got kicked like that for real straight in the face she'd more likely be dead or in traction with injuries instead of just having a bloody nose. Further on in this unbelievable fight sequence she gets thrown into a solid table with such force that it breaks yet she still remains conscious.
If you like watching badly acted, flawed abominations that call themselves "movies" than this will be right up your street.
If however you actually have a brain or can't stand child exploitation for cheap "laughs" you'd probably rather kick your own ass than watch this "movie"!