Unfrigginbelievable

Rating: 10/10 (21 April 2010)

MMMmmm...NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
(Lights cigarette)
I want to marry this movie and have its children.
I would eat the corn out of this movie's s#!t.
What would happen if Quentin Tarantino directed Mystery Men and Sergio Leone directed The Dark Knight and the two films had a baby? I'm not sure but Kick-Ass would, erm, kick its ass. Finally Nicholas Cage is back to form and his hammery is totally intentional and well-placed here. Finally Christopher Mintz-Plasse' eternal portrayal of McLovin' finds a role it's as well-suited for as, well, McLovin's. And Chloe Moretz as Hit Girl not only steals the show but sells it back to its producers then comes back in the middle of the night and steals it again, then she comes down your chimney and leaves it on the cookie plate covered in peanut M&Ms, bacon, and the creamy white stuff that fills Twinkies. If Mathilda and Gogo Yubari somehow produced an offspring, Hit Girl would, ahem, kick its ass.
The movie is well-paced with ongoing comic relief, which is much welcomed between (and during) the numerous action sequences. Amazingly, each action set piece completely and utterly outdoes the previous one, whipping the viewer into an emulsion of frenzied froth until the climax, whence the weak of prostate may actually do so.
This may just be the best movie I've ever seen (so good that I am going to watch it again right after I get done typing this), and I've seen better movies than you have, so it's probably the best movie you'll ever see. So stop reading and go see it now.