A movie you've already seen a thousand times.

Rating: 6/10 (27 December 2017)

First of all, full disclaimer: I'm not a fan of DC, I have not seen BvS but I have seen Wonder Woman and Suicide Squad.
I honestly don't even know where to being with this mediocre overly generic movie. It wasn't good, nor was it bad. It was "meh". The best way I can describe is by calling it the "Spy Kids 3" of this film era. Kids love it, mildly entertaining with lots of crapy CGI that already looks dated.
The biggest problem at work here is the genre itself, we as viewers are so fatigued by the same superhero films that I'm gonna gouge my eyes out if I see a few more of these. We've got our boring two-dimensional heroes, going on a pointless quest against an evil CGI space dude who is out to destroy the whole world (or even galaxy) with his generic army of minions who make a big CGI explosion/thingy that the heroes fight at the end at night with a bunch of bright (usually red) CG particles (lava, goo, magic, the source of life in the universe, you name it).
This movie has some of the weirdest pacings I've ever seen, it's confusing, one second we're here, next second we're there. The editing maybe even worse, often the jarring cuts take you out of the scene/movie and make absolutely no sense. I think this partially has to do with the fact that like 90% of this movie is CGI, all the camera angles are whack, actors aren't in the same room and the set is just a green screen, I mean what can you expect? I honestly don't understand this masturbatory overuse of CGI, why can't you drive to a damn cornfield and shoot on location? Why does it have to be all made inside a WB warehouse? Yes, I'm gonna complain about CG a LOT because it doesn't need to be that. DO we really need to shove dust/ambient fire/water particles into every scene? I understand that it's not supposed to be realistic but at a certain point, your brain hits a sensory overload and just zones out during the most crucial moments. It's basically like showing a baby a clip of a bunch of nonsense bright colours and they'll watch it for hours. This movie honestly feels like someone put together cut scenes from a video game.
Besides the bad camera work and editing, we have my personal favourite - awful dialogue.
Most of the jokes are completely flat with a few exceptions that are failed by the absolute worst delivery in the world (as well as the awkward cuts that I mentioned earlier.) Also, I don't think I've ever heard humans talk like they do in this movie. One of my favourite dialogues in the movie was (Mild spoilers that aren't really spoilers because everyone knows this):
Superman and his GF finally reunite, she says to a shirtless Superman "You smell nice", to which he replies "Did I not before?" proceeded by an awkward silence in a wide shot and they begin holding hands. What the hell, who does that?!
Another favourite stupid moment of mine was when Aquaman skates on a dead body similar to the infamous Legolas skating scene in LOTR.
The whole thing feels like a fever dream of an Artificial Intelligence machine generating a movie that hits every demand of the studio executives.
I would give this movie 6.5 out of 10, however, I have a special personal rule for point deduction - bad Russian. Yup, this movie just like every other one has horrible Russian accents, balalaika music in the background when showing us the unimportant Russian characters AND they drive a truck! There are no flatbed trucks in Russia. Do your god damn research Hollywood. Is it really that freaking hard to find 3 people who speak fluent Russian?
Overall, I expected nothing and I came out of the theatre with nothing. I didn't waste my time nor did I really enjoy it. It was kind of like I went to sleep for two hours and then woke up from a weird dream. To summarize, we had an unemotional soundtrack, bad pacing, flat acting, horrible dialogue and atrocious editing. With a couple of cool scenes.
Justice League leaves me with one question and one question only: Why does Superman leave chem-trails behind? Haha
My verdict - Instantly Forgettable 5.5/10
P/S
With all of that said I would like to acknowledge all the VFX teams because certain shots did look pretty damn incredible. VFX artists are some of the most overworked, underpaid, abused and unappreciated team members of a movie production, but without them, this movie wouldn't be possible. You guys did a good job.