More generic throwaway superhero droning

Rating: 4/10 (15 January 2018)

God this movie sucked. This one's yet another dose of the most generic superhero crap. Seriously, what's the appeal at this point? Basically it's a bad clone of The Avengers, which imho was already a very mediocre movie. Completely overpowered, cardboard, cartoony characters, over-reliance on poorly done CGI, generic villain, zero real struggle or drama, and the same story as every single one of these movies. Here, I'll spoil the entire thing for you. See if you had a vague inkling of what this was going to be like:

"Generic villain #132 tries to use the (all spark, no I mean tesseract, no I mean infinity stone, no wait, it's) mother box McGuffin to try to destroy the world while wise-cracking one liners, forcing our heroes to overcome their differences and band together to defeat him and save the day while cracking crappy jokes, thereby destroying any tension that might have existed."
Sound familiar? Notice how I can describe the entire plot of the movie without telling you anything you didn't already know just from the fact that this is a superhero movie from the 2010s. Does it even count as a spoiler? I'm not so sure at this point.
Tries to be dark and brooding but fails miserably, because they can't make up their mind and peppered the whole thing with jokes that almost all fall flat. As always in this genre-decade-combo, everything is so epic as to be reduced to bland visual noise that plays on people's two second attention span, but fails to invoke any real sense of danger or drama at any point.
There is barely any story telling at all. What little remains is forgettable and plays essentially no role in the movie. They try to create conflict in some of the characters but then make the conflict so easily overcome as to be immaterial. To create some drama, as a placeholder for the perils that all of humanity faces, there's just a random nameless poor Russian family that finds itself repeatedly accosted by the big bad guy for some reason. It doesn't work because we have no connection to this family at all. It's just a set of briefly seen nameless faces substituted for the faceless masses that are really supposedly at risk.
The dialogue is moronic (particularly the technobabble), but then what else is new. The story is utterly predictable. Some of the camera work and cinematography didn't totally suck, but who could tell, since everything seems to be CGI (and it's not particularly convincing).
There is literally nothing new here. It's so generic and forgettable that I could have not watched this and remembered more of it than I do now. I typed this review during the epic last battle and missed nothing at all. How are people not hating this utter feces? It's not even good enough to be bad. It's just nothing. This gets a 7/10 on IMDB now. Blegh. Screw that. 4-/10 at the very most, and that's me being very generous. What movie was this again? I've already forgotten I watched it while the credits are still playing.