Slightly not as bad as Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice

Rating: 4/10 (16 November 2017)

Hey, Justice League is better than Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, if for no other reason than it's a full half-hour shorter. Those, my friends, are 30 extra minutes you get to spend doing something else, anything else, instead of watching another DC UNIVERSE snoozefest.
With such star power as Henry Cavill, Ben Affleck, Ezra Miller, Ray Fisher, Jason Momoa, Gal Gadot, and national treasure Amy Adams, no wonder they could not afford to pay Ciarán Hinds to actually appear in the movie as the big bad baddie, Steppenwolf. That's right, folks, it's your favorite and most popular DC villain ever, Steppenwolf in full CGI gloritude.
What's that you say? You've never heard of Steppenwolf? Well, he's been hiding for thousands of years but can appear anywhere using a blue cylinder dealie thing and he has a legion of scary flying zombie things that are actually pretty easy to kill. Steppenwolf, however, is really strong, and he has a wicked-cool fiery axe up with which he chops stuff and he's sorta angry all the time and never really shuts up. Oh, and apparently the last time he tried to destroy Earth everyone got together and teamed up to defeat him so that seems like a really good idea again, but it's going to be really tough to get superheroes to band together because they all lead such complicated and interesting lives.
Steppenwolf is really powerful, but he can become, like, really super-duper powerful if he can get three Mother Boxes (that's right, I said "Mother Boxes") together, much like Mola Ram hunting for three Sankara stones, or was it heavy water, red crystals, and meteor dust? Good thing we only have to find three of them, because finding six of them would take too long. Also of note is you can revive Superman with one of them, which is pretty cool, because he can probably punch Steppenwolf's head clean off all by himself.
Nice also we have no real back story for any of the newbies. Yes, Flash is a goofy dork who gets to have the most fun, but pretty much everyone else, especially Ben Affleck and Henry Cavill, look like they've been sprayed with stupid dust and inhaled it for a few hours. Also, Cyborg is sort of like a nicer Lawnmower Man, I think. Gonna have to check the press guide on that one.
Oh, no Jared Leto?! Perhaps too busy planning his next hairstyle.
Oh, and hi to Jeremy Irons, J.K. Simmons, and Diane Lane! See you next time!