Mediocre!

Rating: 6/10 (22 July 2018)

Every time I am disappointed by a Marvel movie, I watch a DC movie to remind myself just how much worse it could have been. Justice League: Dawn of the League of Justice is a case in point. If you're looking for great scriptwriting and good quality CGI, you won't find it here. DC really is the bargain bin of superhero movies.
Superman is dead, having succumbed to the fatal wounds he received from critical reviews of Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice. Wonder Woman is sad, because Superman used to be her boyfriend.
Batman (the useless character nobody even wanted) is forced to admit-twice in this movie!-that he has no superpowers whatsoever, which completely discredits his ludicrous claim to be a superhero.
MerMan is a raging alcoholic whose general attitude towards life can be summarised as 'Fuck the lot of you' (I really liked this guy!) The Dash is a moody autistic kid with ADHD.
Victor Doom is now a black man (for some strange reason?!) and somewhere along the line he's traded in his hooded cape for a boring hoodie that looks like it was stolen from Walmart. His powers also seem to be very different from what I remember, but perhaps that's just me.
Together they face Steppenwolf, who is arguably the most interesting and relatable character in the entire DC universe aside from Blackheart. (When are we going to get Steppenwolf Vs. MerMan? I'd watch the hell out of that!)
Somewhere along the line, Steppenwolf has lost his three magical Rubik's Cubes, which will allow him to destroy the universe if he can just find the bloody things and stick them back together. Batman says this would be a very bad thing, and wants to stop Steppenwolf himself, but can't because he's not a real superhero. Wonder Woman is sad, because Batman used to be her boyfriend.
Anyway, the various superheroes do their thing in predictable fashion, and for the most part it's an absolute cringefest.
Batman wants to resurrect Superman using magic Krytponite goo and some other stuff that is never clearly explained. The Dash agrees to stop Steppenwolf as long as it doesn't involve fighting, saving people, or exerting himself in any way at all. Wonder Woman is sad, because that guy from the other movie used to be her boyfriend. Victor Doom is having some kind of existential crisis. MerMan literally has no fucks to give.
A special mention goes to Gal Gadot, Jason Momoa, Jeremy Irons, and CiarÃ¡n Hinds, who all worked hard to salvage this hot mess from the dumpster fire it so richly deserves to die in. I thoroughly enjoyed their performances. Everyone else can bite a grenade.
I rate Justice League: Dawn of the League of Justice at 16.65 on the Haglee Scale, which works out as a paint-by-numbers 5/10 on IMDB.