Well at least the writing was bulletproof... like a slice of swiss cheese that is.

Rating: 1/10 (1 November 2015)

Is this the standard we're giving these days? 7.2? Stop giving them money so they have to actually make decent movies to get their millions of dollars.
I don't know where to start with this over-hyped pile of menagerie... so.. characters I guess
Characters - Owen: Overall the best all rounded character, although very far-fetched.. I won't ask what his pea shooter was supposed to do to dinosaurs. The relationship between him and Claire never should have escalated, if anything a mutual respect would have been better. But a kiss in the middle of all the death and destruction? Claire: Terrible, bad life choices. How long has she been running this park? What was with the unrealistic expectations that she be giving a guided tour to her nephews? Clearly doesn't care for human life.
Masrani: Contributed nothing to the film but to state the bloody obvious. 2 days away from his pilots license and he can't perform a take off. I felt this was one of the main characters in the film just there to babysit the poor audience.
Hoskins: Probably the only consistent character in the whole damn film. Better acting than anyone else in the film too.
Gray: OK, second most consistent character in the film but oh so annoying.
Zach: Terrible awful character. There was obviously something going on at the start between his girlfriend but why even show that if you don't explore it later on? He's a gimp on the whole trip until he sees some girls and starts communicating with his eyes, what the hell? Then all of a sudden when the plot calls for it he completely changes his mood while they're out in the useless POS gyro-pod.
Lowery: Skinny Dennis Nedry. As soon as they showed him it was obvious they tried nodding to the Dennis character of the first film. His comic relief was terrible, awkward, and a robot would have been able to do what he was doing.
Wu: Good to see him back for this one. He lost his morals somewhere though. Sure they order some bigger and better dino's but just for the sake of adding all the un-needed features he doesn't bother to question it at all.
Karen: Holy hell why was she even in the movie? Send your kids off by themselves. Unrealistic expectations of her sister then cry on demand??? TERRIBLE!!! Plot – By far the worst aspect in the movie was the audience babysitting. Having useless characters there just to ask a question, only to have someone answer the obvious question just for the sake of the idiots watching the movie.
There were probably only two good scenes in this movie and they were both in the Indominus cage. The first where it was barely seen, it set a good mood. And the second was when it was escaping obviously. It gave a decent sense of dread which carried over to the security guard getting eaten scene.
FYI, they should have made this movie M and put some violence and gore in. For the sake of a PG-13 they hardly showed anything in any of the scenes. I get it you don't have to show it to make it a good movie, but it's a dinosaur movie where heaps of people die, instead of censoring it for the sake of a rating just do it right.
Stupid scene 1. Those kids have a complete change of heart when they are in some sort of danger. They take their weak gyro-pod in to somewhere obviously dangerous without a care in the world and are then able to outrun a monster than no other man in the movie can. Then they think twice about jumping to save their lives? Good one.
Stupid scene 2. The small army with the bug zappers that chase after the Indominus. *looks at tracking beacon* Masrani: "what's that" - "It's the tracking beacon, it clawed it out". I'm sorry but what the hell, why are you explaining everything for the 10 year old kids?
Stupid scene 3. Send forth the raptor in to the woods with cameras. They are using the cameras all well and fine until the Indominus somehow communicates with the raptors first go. Within seconds the raptors understand and turn on Owen whom they've known all their lives just for the sake of switching up the plot. There is no way any animal would do that all of a sudden.
They are still trying to tickle the Indominus with pellets and only one guy brought a rocket? Why wait to fire it after the Indominus runs off? Why don't multiple guys have rocket launchers? Why even put that scene at that point of the movie with those guys there? It's obvious that if they were at that stage with that many guys they should have had something remotely capable of killing it, and would have realistically used it first go. Suddenly the raptors run off and they don't use the cameras anymore, good one, terrible.
Even more rubbish: Running faster than a t-rex while in high heels still. No way. I call BS on that. T-rex can run 30mph or more in the first film and every other film. Some high level BS right there.
Called the final scene, I knew it would be either the big fish or t-rex that would beat the Indominus but didn't know I would be right twice over.
Owen managed to get his raptors back on his side which again doesn't make sense that they can be switching so much. They either stick with what they've known all their lives or stick with what they now see as more liken to them (the Indominus).
There's so much I've had to leave out. I wish I could give it 0/10. I've scratched more interesting things off the bottom of my shoes.