Pathetic Compared to Spielberg's "Jurassic Park" Entries

Rating: 2/10 (22 June 2015)

"Safety Not Guaranteed" director Colin Trevorrow's summer blockbuster "Jurassic World" surpasses director Joe Johnston's lackluster "Jurassic Park 3" (2001). Comparatively, Steven Spielberg's infinitely superior "Jurassic Park" (1993) covered most of what transpires in Trevorrow's new the monster-run-amok-in-a-theme-park movie. Despite its attractive cast and scenic jungle locations, "Jurassic World" delivers considerably less suspense in its standard-issue shenanigans about juveniles in jeopardy. If you haven't seen the first and second entries in the "Jurassic Park" trilogy, this franchise reboot with its polished production values and robust 3-D might amaze you, especially if you're sixteen years old or younger. Size is the primary factor "Jurassic World" contends with, and Trevorrow shrewdly addresses this liability during the first half-hour. The female protagonist who manages the dinosaur park concedes, "No one's impressed by a dinosaur anymore. They need to be bigger, louder and with more teeth!" Indeed, the new hybrid dinosaur that a fiendish scientist has concocted represents a leap forward. Nevertheless, this 50 feet long and 18 feet high monster doesn't really emerge as that monstrous. The Indominus rex in "Jurassic World" could serve as "Godzilla's" seeing-eye dog. Moreover, "Jurassic World" appears to have been designed to sell plastic toy dinosaurs. The dinos themselves display a clean-scrubbed, laminated look. When the franchise first rampaged across screens with "Jurassic Park" (1993) and its sequel "Jurassic Park: The Lost World" (1997), nothing looked either more realistic or intimidating than those truculent dinosaurs, especially the Raptors. Unfortunately, the time when "Jurassic Park" set new benchmarks for CGI is long past. The people who made "Jurassic World" must have ignored Peter Jackson's "King Kong" (2005) as well as "Godzilla" (2014). In an arena with either of those, the welterweight Indominus rex in "Jurassic World" wouldn't last a minute.
Meantime, scenarists Rick Jaffa &Amanda Silver, who did such a praiseworthy job with "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" and "Rise of the Planet of the Apes," along with writer Rick Connolly, and Trevorrow, have drummed-up a 'so-so sauraus' saga. The logistics of the plot don't hold up to scrutiny and the action is outlandish. Worse, the scripters have contrived one-dimensional characters who often behave idiotically in formulaic predicaments. For example, Bryce Dallas Howard, who was such a revelation as a villainess in "The Help," spends her entire time charging around in high heels either in the jungle or on asphalt! Chris Pratt plays a former Navy troubleshooter who doesn't have a lick of sense. He totes around a modern .45-70 lever-action carbine reminiscent of Buffalo Bill, when he should be armed with something more substantial, like a Kalashnikov AK-101 assault rifle with 40mm GP-30 under-the-barrel grenade launcher. One Jurassic World security trooper wields a powerful M136 AT4, a Swedish-made single-shot 84mm unguided light anti-tank recoilless rocket launcher. He takes aim with this fearsome weapon at the genetically modified dinosaur. Naturally, like all myopic, action movie villains, none of these expendable troopers can hit the broad side of a barn, much less a gigantic, galloping dinosaur! Meantime, since the dinosaurs have neither slippery lawyers nor treacherous laboratory employees to gobble, the writers have substituted a different villain, a security specialist who dreams about adapting these carnivorous Raptors for real world combat against terrorists. Not surprisingly, everything about this lightweight, family-oriented, PG-13 rated epic is immaculate. Bloodshed is restricted to a drop or two of runny ketchup. Sure, you see the dinosaurs munch on many adults, but the two imperiled children suffer no broken legs, no sprained ankles, or lose any limbs. Specifically, anonymous bystanders are the only ones that are crunched, scratched, or traumatized. So forget about suspense and tension.
Over twenty years ago, in the original "Jurassic Park" (1993) based on Michael Crichton's bestseller, genial billionaire John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) fantasized about opening a dinosaur park on a remote island near Costa Rica. Initially, everything went fine, but then some predatory velociraptors and a cantankerous Tyrannosaurus rex ruined it for everybody. Now, twenty years later, Indian billionaire Simon Masrani (Irfan Khan of "Life of Pi") has taken over Jurassic Park as the new owner, and he has committed himself whole-heartedly to perpetuating Hammond's dream. He wants both the dinosaurs to enjoy quality of life while the visitors to have a blast. Conversely, Masrani's workaholic chief of operations, Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard of "The Help"), struggles to maintain that profit margin. This means the Park must constantly add new attractions because new attractions spike attendance. When fiendish but taciturn scientist, Dr. Henry Wu (B.D. Wong of "Focus"), devises a new dinosaur, he refuses to share his secret formula with Masrani and Claire. Predictably, chaos ensues with disastrous results. The Indominus rex is smarter than the average dinosaur, and this creature fools everybody, including the impertinent but heroic Owen Grady (Chris Pratt of "Guardians of the Galaxy"), who struggles to train a quartet of beady-eyed Velociraptors. Using prehistoric lizards like bloodhounds is preposterous but amusing, and the bond Grady develops with these overgrown kangaroo-like predators is unconvincing. Eventually, Grady pursues the Indominus with them, while the Indominus kills on other dinosaurs and crashes into the park's pterosaur aviary to free flocks of their airborne predators.
Before he helmed "Jurassic World," Colin Trevorrow directed some Internet shorts, a made-for-TV movie, and a superb little 2012 indie flick entitled "Safety Not Guaranteed" with Mark Duplass. "Safety Not Guaranteed" was an amiable character-driven comedy of errors. In "Safety Not Guaranteed," a couple of journalists investigated a crackpot who has published a newspaper ad soliciting partners to accompany him on a trip back in time. These time travel candidates are advised to bring their own weapons. Reportedly, movie mogul Steven Spielberg liked Trevorrow's film enough to sign him up to direct "Jurassic World." If you're a parent, "Jurassic World" serves not only as ideal entertainment for kids, but also a great way to interest them in dinosaur memorabilia. Otherwise, as far as adults are concerned, the pedestrian "Jurassic World" exemplifies a case of suspense not guaranteed."