Colin Trevorrow dropped a turd so enormous, it deserved its own name so he called it "Jurassic World"

Rating: 3/10 (7 November 2015)

Lots of spoilers, in case you haven't seen this brick of a movie:

The boys' parents having marital issues had nothing to do with the movie.

Teenage boys are girl-crazy. We get it, already.

The most exclusive (and probably most expensive) theme park in the world has an unkempt, unintelligent, post-teenage burnout running the hamster ball ride?

The hamster balls had user controls? Who's bright idea was that? I doubt their insurance company knows about this.

When Claire finally becomes a real person, her flat and carefully layered hair becomes full and wavy.

When they release the raptors and Owen is chasing them on a motorcycle, the raptors are constantly jumping over fallen trees and rocks and ducking tree limbs but Owen has a perfectly clear path and, not only does he catch up, he ends up in the middle of them.

In the last scene (think triage), Owen suddenly has a mustache and no other facial hair.

They tried so hard to copy the iconic moments from the first movie (2 raptors vs the tyrannosaur, using a flare to lure the tyrannosaur) but it just comes off as an unimaginative rehash.

Here's the biggest one: real velociraptors were really only two or three feet tall. People have been bringing this up since the first Jurassic Park movie. Owen goes off on Claire for creating the I.Rex, saying it's not a dinosaur because it's modified. What does he think he's training?
I gave this 3 stars because the actors played their roles well. It's a shame they didn't have much to work with.