Big, Dumb and Plodding, Like the Brainless Beasts it Boasts

Rating: 5/10 (25 June 2015)

Possessing neither the industrial significance nor the inherent majesty of the Spielberg original, it was always going to be a tall order for this modern revival to stack up. It's wise to do its own thing for the most part, though nudge-grin-wink references to the first film appear shamelessly (and, often, charmingly) around every corner. And while it's fun to point and smile at the familiar scraps of a 22-year-old film, at some point it feels like the new effort is too frightened of its own merits to cast them aside. At root, it's a simple mindless summer disaster movie with the spice of CGI dinosaurs thrown in where the earthquakes/volcanoes/tidal waves would usually go. Measured against that standard, it's still an awfully dumb bucket of over-familiar plot churn, but it feels more understandable and appropriate. Long gone are the delicate ruminations on nature, humanity and our impending role as technological gods, tossed in favor of more sizzle and fresh dino gimmicks. For all the trailer's promises that the new big bad is meaner, faster and - most importantly - smarter, it really doesn't seem to do all that much beyond stomping around the park and killing anything in sight. The new cast, helmed by Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard (who, impressively, manages to dash through jungle and mountain in a pair of stylish heels), doesn't seem much brighter. A fair enough way to kill a couple hours at the cinema, but be prepared for a healthy dose of eyeball-rolls and manufactured drama.