HOW did they manage to screw this up?

Rating: 4/10 (12 June 2015)

As a big fan of the franchise, I squealed with delight at the trailer and was there for the first show on the first day, filled with anticipation - but left the theater crestfallen. Yes, JW delivers the toothy gotcha scenes and a witty commentary on jaded, demanding consumerism, but it's the weakest Jurassic in the litter. JW is scattered. There are at least 4 plots - any ONE of which would have made a swell movie, if they had hired a writer. Long, boring patches between action, aborted story lines and character traits everywhere. JW is lazy. Where Jurassic 1 and 2 had strong, multi-dimensional male and female characters, JW characters are flat, undeveloped, tired stereotypes. And you'll want all of them to get eaten just so you won't have to hear the nauseating dialogue. Deus ex machina gets characters out of huge scrapes in one scene and then -- oops! -- cell phones don't work in the next. At the closing line, "So what should we do now?" I blurted out "HIRE A WRITER!"