5 Reasons to Avoid Jurassic World...A Massive Fail

Rating: 1/10 (14 June 2015)

Here are 5 of the main reasons why this movie was a massive fail...there are others of course, but I won't bother getting into those. 1. The red head chick (the ambiguously homosexual aunt) - Her stupid reactions caused the death of many people, but we are supposed to still be rooting on her side. The scene when she rolls up her sleeves to look all cute for Chris Pratt is the exact moment the filmmakers and scriptwriters literally gave up on this garbage sequel. 2. The two teenage brothers (Teen Beat magazines next up and comers) They are presented as a couple of soft, Jonas brother types from the moment their mommy has to ship them off, un-chaperoned, to her lesbian sister. The cringe worthy scene takes place when they jump off the edge of a waterfall into the abyss, escaping the evil dino, and they reach the shore and have a weird bromance moment instead of being in complete shock at what sheer terror they have just seemingly escaped. 3. The new "Bad Guy" (AKA Vince D'Onofrio) This guy wants to weaponize velociraptors for the military! He comes up with the idea that the raptors will hunt and kill a giant dinosaur for us humans, yet no one calls him out on his obvious addiction to crack cocaine. Nice job Vince! the beautiful way you mailed this one in, i'm sure the USPS has a spot for you when you decide to give up your acting career. Hopefully immediately, if not sooner. 4. The new "Dr. Hammond" (AKA Irfan Khan) This eccentric billionaire is so jaded he decides he needs to go on a heroic mission and jumps behind the controls of a helicopter, even though he is the least qualified person to pilot it, and eventually kills himself and a several other idiots that went along for the ride. 5. The T-REX (or lack thereof) Yes folks, if you saw the movie, you probably asked yourself WHY? Why is it that if anyone there knew they still had a T-Rex in captivity on the island, why didn't anyone think of freeing the original villain from Jurassic park in order to battle the new I-REX villain until the very last 10 minutes of the movie. Sacrificing countless lives and millions of dollars in damage along the way. -Finally, to anyone who stood up and cheered when the movie ended, you are all sheep. Its time to wake up folks. -Bottom line: THIS MOVIE WAS A MASSIVE FAIL!