Termiraptor

Rating: 4/10 (24 March 2016)

CGI has hardly moved on since the first Jurassic Park movie, so in order to evoke a 'Wow!' factor the latest iteration of the franchise has to rely on narrative innovations instead. What they come up with is a genetically modified killing machine that crosses raptors with T-Rex, and a herd of raptors trained to take orders - kind of - that have the potential for militarization. Yes, it is as lame as it sounds. My pre-teen son was bored, so it fails the litmus test right there. At one point the main character says "Do you listen to yourself when you speak?" It's a cute moment of pastiche, but the line could basically be applied to 70 percent of the dialogue in this film. Two vanilla boys are the dinosaur bait this time, mashed up with some spurious worries about parental divorce, an irresponsible aunt, and an Indy Jones wannabe dinosaur trainer who is some kind of mixed up eco-warrior. Probably. The baddie is so cardboard and pantomime he should be wearing a cloak and mask. And there is a hipster in the control room who may be Jeff Goldblum's illegitimate offspring, but clearly got his humour gene from his mother. Bland, tonally uneven, with unengaging characters. Meh.