Indominus Wreck

Rating: 4/10 (19 June 2015)

My 2-year-old is just beginning to grasp the English language. One of my favorite phrases of hers is, instead of "I don't like it", she proudly proclaims "I CAN'T like it." This saying can help with referring to situations in which, no matter how hard you try, you simply are unable to enjoy something. This perfectly encapsulates my feelings for Jurassic World, the uneven follow-up to one of the greatest blockbusters ever. With weak writing and thin characters, I simply can't fully relish in the decent thrills, marginal humor and slight wonder. The story follows the formula to-a-tee: naïve awe, something goes wrong, people die. The film tries to pinpoint this, openly commenting on how jaded audiences are no longer impressed with seeing dinosaurs; they must be bigger, cooler, and have more teeth. This provides for some fun science-vs-business dialogue and cool chaotic amusement park set-pieces, providing some truly great Jurassic moments. Unfortunately in the end, JW is less like a film and more like Universal trying to boost ticket sales for their theme parks, with laughable dialogue and way too many characters to invest in. The failures here are not from lack of trying, but recapturing the magic of the 1993 classic is proving to be almost impossible. The references to that first film are nice, but it only serves as a reminder that we aren't watching that original masterpiece. In JW, the effects are less-convincing, the animatronics are all-but non-existent, and the emotions feel cheaper. So while it may be entertaining enough for a first viewing, it won't be an enduring classic. And I can't like it.