"Jurassic World" is a serious candidate for the "Honest Trailers" website

Rating: 5/10 (4 July 2015)

Full of spoilers. Read this only if you have already seen the movie or you can't remember stuff.
"Jurassic World" is completely satisfying. It must be; it's made 3x the $$ which "San Andreas" made and did so in half the time in theaters. (As of The 4th.) Best scene: the asshole character gets eaten. AND we just KNOW there is going to be a sequel because the bad-guy scientist escapes with the GMO Ãœberdino genes. (It's a combination of tyrannosaur and velociraptor with greater-than-human intelligence, the ability to change colors for disguise, and suppress its infrared signature so it cannot be tracked with heat sensors, and it somehow knows that the thing implanted in its back is a tracking device.) So you had better go see "Jurassic World" so you know how things stand when the sequel comes around.
They still don't get the dinos right. Their velociraptors are about the size of achillobators and none of them have feathers in the movie. ( I have to admit that I do not like dinosaurs with feathers even tho recent finds suggest that many later dinosaurs had feathers. I WANT SCALES, not feathers, and "Jurassic World" delivers! )
Regardless of the overly large size of the movie velociraptors, our hero in the movie becomes an alpha velociraptor and uses his position in the pack to take them hunting for the Ãœberdino. The Ãœberdino had gotten out of his cage by scratching the wall as if he climbed it, shutting off his thermal signature and changing his color to blend in with the plants. Then he waits for people to foolishly enter the cage, eats a couple of them, then crashes the gate which, of course, does not close in time. The Ãœberdino then goes on a killing spree because he was raised alone (or was it a she?) and has no dinosaur manners or social skills. (I kid you not. That is the reason given in the movie.) Ãœberdino is therefore the tallest, heaviest, toothiest psychopath ever created by Hollywood ! The hero in "Jurassic World" of course has a failed relationship with the female boss of the Jurassic World theme park. (Very failed; they went on ONE date. It boggles the mind why one of them is not in jail.) She in turn has invited her two nephews to the park where she is too busy to spend time with them. The little cretins therefore go off on their own at just about the time Ãœberdino has started slashing sauropods. These kids think it's OK to go through a huge gate which has been ripped to shreds. (These kids are so dumb that Ãœberdino would have done our gene pool a favor had he managed to eat them.) So we go through all kinds of chase and escape scenes and hunt-the-Ãœberdino scenes. Ãœberdino manages to escape the helicopter shooting at him with a M134 Minigun (100 bullets per second) by knocking a hole in the "bird cage". The pterodactyls escaping from it obligingly attack and bring down the helicopter which in turn falls through the roof of the "bird cage" releasing all of the pterodactyls which in their turn swoop down on 20,000 fleeing theme park patrons causing general mayhem. All very satisfying for Hollywood escapism.
Of course in the end our hero saves the boss lady and her brain-dead nephews. Curiously it is the younger of the latter who states that the way to solve the problem is to have "more teeth", so boss lady orders the release of T-rex and she leads it to Ãœberdino running with a flare as if dinosaurs are attracted to heat. She somehow outruns T-rex in her bare feet and tosses the flare at Ãœberdino thus marking it as the proper target for T-rex. But T-rex has a hard time with Ãœberdino even tho a friendly velociraptor pitches in to help.
I won't tell you the mildly surprising T-rex + velociraptor vs. Ãœberdino result in case you want to go see the movie. This movie is a serious candidate for the "Honest Trailers" website too! I'd have rated this movie higher if the plot holes were not big enough to sink the Titanic in. It was fun anyway.