Megacraptor Rex

Rating: 1/10 (30 October 2015)

Two decades after the original Jurassic Park, the company behind it is overcome with greed and decides to capitalise on the dinos once again, but since everyone has seen Whatevertheirnameis-sauruses by now, they need to create new monsters to keep the "Wow" factor up.
So it decides to produce the movie Jurassic World, in which, two decades after the original Jurassic Park, the company behind it is overcome with greed and decides to capitalise on the dinos once again, but since everyone has seen Whatevertheirnameis-sauruses by now, they need to create new monsters to keep the "Wow" factor up.
It's either an irony of fate or a sly jab at the ever-fossilising motion picture industry that the storyline of the film and the narrative of its conception are so strikingly similar. And I'm afraid I'm not inclined to thinking it was intentional.
As ridiculous as the premise of the film is – fill Dino Island with people, let a number of scary ones loose, and then indulge in blood and screams and make sure the obligatory two lead kids get away in the end, where on Earth have we seen that before? – as poorly written the script is. Apparently, the first draft only took three weeks to throw together. I'm surprised it didn't happen in three hours. Loose ends are dangling all over the place like severed sinews from consumed tourists, the archetypal characters are nothing but a poor joke of the ones in the original trilogy (geeky and untidy computer nerd, lone hero scientist who understands that life doesn't follow spreadsheets, greedy business execs who want to make money from the monsters, and lo and behold, the Nasty Military Man who wants to weaponise them, et cetera ad nauseam), and when characters actually have to TELL each other to "RUUUUUUUN!" instead of standing still, waiting to become a quick snack, palm goes firmly on face, at least for this reviewer.
You're-a-sick World indeed. Could someone please apply a suitably large nuclear bomb onto Isla Nublar, so that we won't have to endure a Jurassic 5.