You can almost smell the plot burning away

Rating: 4/10 (13 June 2015)

This was a miserable movie to sit through. I understand movies that are special effects driven, I mean, at least you can enjoy the effects. However, this movie is just... my goodness... it is just bad. When the most engaging characters are the raptors, you know there is something wrong.
The movie starts out well. It has a kind of cheesy feel, but everything works right. Kids go to Jurassic World while scientists are developing a new dinosaur, all while Chris Pratt is training velociraptors... seems like a fair enough premise. The concept of a genetically engineered dinosaur becoming sadistic and cruel is very interesting. T-rex was a natural predator, but the I- Rex is actually sadistic and knows what it is doing. This is interesting because there is now more reason to fear it.
The red headed lady who runs the place, is incredibly dull and doesn't listen to reason. Chris Pratt explains if the I-rex isn't put down, it will kill more people. What does she do? She sends in more people with weak weapons to fight it and they die. So what does this mean? This means she has literally sent people to their death, even against the advice of others. She is essentially evil and soulless. There are multiple moments in the movie where she leads people to their death and Chris Pratt consistently explains why it is a bad idea.
This is the movie in a whole and it makes it frustrating to watch. Everyone in the movie makes the worst possible decisions.
You know the term called "holding the idiot ball"? It means when a character instantly becomes dumb beyond reason just so that the plot can move along. Well, this movie is essentially dodge-ball... with ALL idiot balls.
The movie starts off tense with a growing sense of dread. This was good, but now I shall get back to the moment where the movie instantly fell apart... this scene is so obvious that I can pin- point the exact moment...
The Red-headed Aunt lady just thought her nephews were eaten, she has endangered the entire park, and she has lead dozens to their death, if not hundreds more... Chris Pratt is mad at her for being incompetent... and then... she tightens her clothes and begins to change her outfit like she is ready to hike... and she acts cute. She acts cute. She says she is now ready for an adventure and Chris Pratt smiles at her, but then treats her like a lady. That is the exact moment where the movie said: "Screw the audience, screw the mood, screw Chris Pratt's character, this movie is now a joke."
I kid you not, the red-headed lady never learns her lesson and no one gets mad at her for screwing everything up. What makes the movie worse is that the movie is full of stupid elements left and right. There is this joke bad-guy character who is OBSESSED with using raptors for the military. No joke, every line of dialogue is him harassing people about raptors. This guy is so obsessed that he wants the park to get ravaged so that he can use the raptors to hunt down the I-rex. I kid you not, the movie becomes that dumb. And then, against all character, Chris Pratt allows the raptors to eat him... while Chris Pratt is holding a gun...
Another good example is that there is a unit who needs to go into a helicopter to kill the I-rex. Who is the pilot? The one person in the movie who isn't qualified to fly a helicopter and has proved to be a bad pilot and even ONE OF THE CHARACTERS SAYS "Are you sure you can fly that?" I kid you not, within five minutes he crashes the helicopter and kills everyone on board. The movie is that dumb. The special-ops force that knows how to fly a helicopter allows someone with no experience fly it... and they all die from it.
These are some notable examples, but this movie is a huge list of bad. It has stupid shifts in character, it has stupid plot-twists, and everything in it is so mind- numbingly awful that I am tempted to give it a lower rating. The one redeeming value of the movie is its production value. These are nice sets, these are nice looking dinosaurs, and the first part of the movie was good. That is it. There is nothing else in the movie worth watching.
However, some of you may be saying this is all "nit-picks" and that the movie still works to some degree. Well, that is wrong. Regardless of the stupid shifts in character, lame plot-devices, and incredibly forced moments, the movie even fails at its main premise. The whole beginning premise of the movie is that the I-rex is terrifying because it is sadistic and cunning. The I-rex acts more like an escaped Hannibal Lector in the beginning of the movie... this is awesome. This is a good concept. Treating a dinosaur like the caged animal that it is. However, this element IS NEVER EXPLORED AFTER IT ESCAPES! The movie focuses more on forced romance and incredibly dumb character interaction. Why couldn't the movie make the I-rex more of the focus of terror? Yes, the I-rex uses a lot of jump-scares, but they are jump-scares that are almost identical to that of the other Jurassic Park. Another missed opportunity is the fact that it is hinted ever so slightly that the I-rex recognizes the red-headed lady. However, this is only used for a jump-scare and is never actually used to forward the plot. This could've been an awesome plot point where the I-rex constantly recognizes her.
On a final note, the movie kills off this one woman character in a pointlessly cruel manner. Her death sequence that out for almost an ENTIRE MINUTE.