Reasons why JW is BAD.

Rating: 1/10 (25 March 2018)

The sexual politics of Jurassic World are an unfortunate 180-degree turn from the original movie. Bryce Dallas Howard's Claire Dearing is a flat, limited depiction of a career woman who has apparently rid herself of all human emotion for the chance to excel at her job.
She's a rigid, unsympathetic character until she finds her maternal instinct, which she's obviously buried underneath all that career ambition.
The funny, lovable Chris Pratt also gets reduced to a swaggering, sweaty mess who communicates better with dinosaurs than he does humans.
It's a stupid, retrograde disservice not just to the audience, but to the legacy of the original Jurassic Park, which, 22 years ago, gave men and women equal footing against humanity's real enemy, dinosaurs.
I'll fully buy into the fact that Jurassic World exists in a future where we've grown bored by dinosaurs and where Burt Macklin communicates with velociraptors, but I can't suspend my disbelief long enough to believe any woman would trek through the jungle with those stupid, silly shoes still on her feet without breaking her ankle, foot or neck.
One other large failing of the film is it's inability to provide a believable bond between the two brothers, Zach and Gary Mitchell. The kids are cute, but for much of the movie it feels like older brother Zach isn't just disinterested in his younger sibling, but might actively hate him. Plus, his constant leering at teenage girls is super creepy.
Zach might come around at the end, but it shouldn't take almost getting mauled by a giant prehistoric monster to show some brotherly affection.
Jurassic World is built upon the idiocy of the masses (the general public is swarming to a dinosaur park once again after two major catastrophes and another incident that required a military rescue in Jurassic Park III, really?), but there is rarely a scene in the film that doesn't require an extreme suspension of disbelief.
Zach and Gray can fix a Jeep that hasn't moved for decades because they remembered the time they fixed up Grandpa's old Malibu? Claire knows how to operate an assault rifle, and can also outrun a T-Rex?
Even the villains' motivations are shallow at best. You're telling me that Dr. Henry Wu (played by B.D. Wong), the lead scientist at a dinosaur theme park who has the power and freedom to literally play God with prehistoric animals, would actually put all of that in jeopardy by making a shady deal with Hoskins, who intends to sell dinosaurs to the military? Sure!
Jurassic World is a series of very cool dinosaur rampage scenes and mind-numbing filler that sets up the next dinosaur rampage scene. The action itself is jaw-dropping at times, but the story itself has no substance.
Lowery, the nerdy lovelorn underling who is the true star of the movie, jokes about the park selling out to sponsors and suggests that they introduce the "Pepsisaurus" or the "Tostitodon" to the public, but the hilarious line was sandwiched between Zach showing off his Beats By Dre while riding in a Mercedes and Claire using her Samsung phone. I realize the original Jurassic Park featured quite a few Jeeps, but Jurassic World is completely over the top.
Dr. Ian Malcolm said it best in 1993: "You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could, and before you even knew what you had - you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox and now you're selling it."