Weak hearts need not apply...

Rating: Null/10 (12 September 2000)

I lost the last bet, so I had to pay the piper: my girlfriend (now wife :) gets to pick the next two movies we see. I could barely get my eyes to stop rolling when she tells me the next one is going to be some "dino" movie. I don't remember if I even saw a trailer, but I do recall swearing to myself - for the millionth time - that I'm only gonna bet a on a "sure thing" from now on (I was SURE that the Beatle's, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", stood for LSD). You can guess the rest. After a slow start, my automatic dread-alert woke me as the band of curiosity-seekers (ok, except for Jeff Goldblum's mathematician character) drove off for a "preview" of the big lizards tour. Now, I've felt my small hairs standing on end before, but never like this. I felt like I had my hand on one of those static electricity generators you play with in kiddie science museums. I could sense my body heat rising and, in short order, my heart was trying to escape via my throat.
This was a very unusual thriller in terms of the pacing. Most thriller-type flicks give you a roller-coaster ride of panic-calm/comic relief. This one ratcheted up the tension slowly, got to a state of distress - and kept it there for well over an hour straight! As a member in good standing of the "Century Club", I testify plainfully and truthfully that I am no wuss. That said, about half-way thru this movie I looked up at my girlfriend (she was perched safely on top of my head it seemed) and asked her if she was ready to leave. I had had enuff! This was too much stress for one movie. If we left then I would have felt I got my money's worth. She was all too eager to deplane, but we felt too embarrased to have to walk past all those people (we were in the very front row), tails tucked sheepishly between our legs. So we stayed with our hands covering our faces (ok, we made tiny peepholes - we were captivated).
I personally did not "relax" until the climatic kick-butt scene with a roaring, T-Rex NEAR THE END of the movie. I could almost feel my hair being blown back. It was then I realized I hadn't exhaled in well over an hour and a half. It was time to pry my fingers from the arm-rests. Walking out of there, I felt completely shell-shocked; an experience I will not soon forget. Wotta ride!