Dumb movie

Rating: 2/10 (4 December 2017)

I went to see this original Jurassic Park when it first came out.
At the time, I was struck by how really, really dumb it was. Over time, I've come to recognize what it was I'd seen: It was a nasty case of Producers' Cold Feet Syndrome. Possibly compounded by the Director and other artistic voices not having the cajones to countenance those dumbing-down voices and redeem the exercise a bit.
The characters are reduced to cartoon caricatures. The flick plays like a first-draft storyboard animatic. Driven by the producers' knee-jerk responses to dailies, the "denouement" is funneled into an insulting joke of a resolution. And they think the whole exercise in narrative dim-wittedness can be redeemed by closing out on an off-the-shelf, one- size-fits-all "geez-aren't-kids-'n'-family-just-the-coolest-thing" scene.
I give it one star (over the minimum '1') because you can see that some folks tried. They really did. But... No Cigar. A lot of money spent on a big nothing'.