HORRENDOUS MOVIE; I'd rather eat paint!

Rating: Null/10 (6 January 2008)

I would rather watch water evaporate! Any male with normal testosterone levels will hate this movie, I promise you that. As for females, you all better be able to relate to a girl (Ellen Page) who behaves less like a high-schooler and more akin to a S&M freak from the Bowery. Page's performance is lackluster, much like the development of her relationship with other characters.
If you came in looking for comedy, prepare to be disappointed. Page has her witty quips, but by the end of the film personal drama has engulfed the movie. I will not spoil the ending (as if it isn't completely devoid of meaning), but Juno chooses a path mostly disconnected from the plot. The choice of what to do with the child she is carrying (I don't believe this qualifies as spoiler seeing as she is clearly pregnant on the movie poster) takes a bizarre turn when a five minute scene reverses all we knew previously about several characters. Is anyone in this movie worthy of selling us on the fact that they have emotion? I don't believe so.
The soundtrack is so anemically bad that I was wishing I had been born deaf by the end of this film. I cannot understand what if any are the positive aspects of this film. My assumption is that it has a niche quality, defying logic for intelligent film-goers. This has been compared to Napoleon Dynamite, which I believed to be brilliant film. The same is not true for Juno. I felt like I was watching a bad painting. I would only recommend this movie to people who enjoy extreme mental torture.