The most bizarre and pretentious movie I've seen

Rating: 3/10 (9 July 2010)

Back in 08, when the movie came out on DVD, there was a huge buzz about it winning best screenplay and, so I decided I should check it out.
The movie is about a 16 year old girl named Juno MacGuff. I'm not kidding. I'm serious. Throughout the movie I tried to pretend that name wasn't the most pretentious female protagonist name I've ever heard but I failed. She talks like a real smartass and acts all cocky to people. She's 16 and is in love with Paulie Bleeker (again, another pretentious "indie" name). One day she finds out that she got pregnant from a time when she and Paulie had sex. She considers having an abortion, but after being forced to face the fact that once you make a decision it stays with you forever, she decides to come out about her pregnancy to her parents and give it up for adoption. She finds one family in a classified ad who has an infertile mother and goes to get to know them. She takes a keen kinship to the husband, who loves indie music and cinema, including one situation where they watch the 70s cheese horror flick "The Wizard of Gore". Then a bunch of drama and depressing indie pretentiousness ensues and... I... just... don't... freaking... care. The end.
I didn't HATE this film. Some lines were funny and I liked some of the cast, including the guy who played Jameson from Spider Man, Jennifer Garner, and Jason Bateman, who of course charms in each role. One particularly powerful scene was when Juno has an emotional breakdown in the van- Finally she acts instead of trying to be a teenager and spewing cocky words.
To say the characters are cardboard is an understatement- they're TISSUE PAPER THIN. Juno is not likable at all. Why should I sympathize for her? She's just a smartassed cocky borderlining-on-bitch who has absolutely no reason to be in the story other than the fact that she's the protagonist and she's pregnant. And her constant pop culture references were don't help either. Paulie I have no respect for- come on, getting a girl knocked up before she's even old enough to drive has no respectability in it, and the movie tries to make me care about him by making him all "cute" and "awkward" but come on. Also, this film in a way almost glamorizes teen pregnancy- Their parents are cool with her being pregnant AT 16 (I've known people in this situation and trust me, their parents were the exact opposite of that). There's much more but it would be too long to list. Oh and for the record, I don't think I've EVER heard anyone say "Pork swords".
I don't even think creepy looking assassins with stupid haircuts and silenced shotguns could have saved this film. It's not terrible but I honestly don't get why it's so praised.