All I really need to know I learned from Juno...

Rating: 4/10 (16 March 2008)

All I really need to know I learned from Juno:
1)If you are hanging out with your friend of the opposite sex that you aren't even really dating and there is nothing to do except watch "Blair Witch Project" on TV, having unprotected sex is a good way to cure boredom.
2)Everyone should own a hamburger shaped phone.
3)Name your children strange things like...Liberty Bell, or Juno (after Zeus'beautiful angry wife). Because traditional names are all gay.
4)If you are looking for adoptive parents, make it clear that they shouldn't be "wholesome". They should like punk music and gory old movies, and play kick-butt electric guitar.
5)The first time you do it, it should be in the most awful looking old chair you can find.
6) Body parts should be referred to as funbags, pork swords, vag, junk, etcetera...because that apparently is cool, as is being pregnant at 16. (I found out after I had seen the movie that the script writer is a stripper and phone sex worker. It figures.)
7) Teenage girls (who are smarter than their parents) should be able to be sarcastic, talk back and cuss at whomever they want, and throw up in the urn in the hallway. No one (including their parents) will raise an eyebrow or make you wash out the urn, cause they have attitudes and filthy mouths too.
8)Your parents won't be upset when they find out you are pregnant, in fact, they will joke about it. They won't yell or cry, they will be completely supportive of whatever you decide, and there will be no restrictions or consequences.
9) Once a teenage girl is pregnant nothing worse can happen to her. So instead of keeping a closer watch and worrying more about her and the baby she is carrying, she will be able to go wherever and do whatever.
10) All males (old and young) should be held in contempt and be made to look weak and uninteresting, and it is nonessential for a baby to have a father around when it is raised.
11) It is entirely possible to be pregnant and remain totally unattached to the child, and it will be a cinch to give the baby away, without wanting any compensation or future interaction whatsoever, get back together with the baby's father, and go back to your former life with no lasting consequences.
** I took my 16yo daughter to see Juno. We were both thoroughly disappointed with the movie. I had heard good things about it, and heard the soundtrack was supposed to be really great, so I was excited to see it. The friends we went with actually walked out after the first 15 minutes, and went to see another movie instead.
I have 3 teenage daughters aged 16, 17, and 19 and have been around their friends so I know a little about how teenagers are. I've gone through 5 pregnancies(I also have 2 sons). I know people that (girls) have been pregnant as teens or (guys) fathered a child as a teen, both in the past and recently, and the difficulties, consequences, forced "growing up" and emotional havoc it causes. I found much of the movie unrealistic, contrived, irreverent and sarcastic.
Oh, and the soundtrack that's being SO raved about...is lame. The best song in the batch is "Anyone Else But You" by the indie band "Moldy Peaches" (who thought THAT band name up anyway?)... it's probably their once in a lifetime hit wonder, and even that one in my opinion isn't worth paying 99 cents on iTunes for.
Redeeming qualities: The girl who plays Juno is a good little actress. Her dad and the step-mom were also semi-believable. There are quotable cult lines, i.e. "This ain't no etch-a-sketch. This is one doodle that can't be undid, home-skillet". I liked the opening bit where line art was tied in to the film. That's why I give it a 4.
I'm not recommending this movie to anyone. Don't waste your money.